Proofreading

locations/bank.qsrc

@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 				bankAccount = 1
 				karta = 5000
 				bankDebtLimit = 5000
-				'You are led to on open office and a member of the bank staff goes through your details and ID, then takes 50 <b>₽</b> from you before setting up your account'
+				'You''re led to an open office where a member of the bank staff goes through your details and ID, then takes 50 <b>₽</b> from you before setting up your account.'
 				'"Your account is now open with your 50 <b>₽</b> and an overdraft protection of 5,000 <b>₽</b>"'
 				gs 'stat'
 
@@ -53,12 +53,12 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 					karta += kartaIN
 					money -= kartaIN
 
-					'<br>You deposited <<kartaIN>> <b>₽</b>, your account balance is now ' + iif(karta >= bankDebtLimit, '<<karta - bankDebtLimit>>', '<font color="red"><<bankDebtLimit - karta>></font>') + ' <b>₽</b>.'
+					'<br>You deposit <<kartaIN>> <b>₽</b>. Your account balance is now ' + iif(karta >= bankDebtLimit, '<<karta - bankDebtLimit>>', '<font color="red"><<bankDebtLimit - karta>></font>') + ' <b>₽</b>.'
 				end
 				killvar 'kartaIN'
 				gs 'stat'
 
-				act 'Walk away':gt 'bank', 'start'
+				act 'Walk away': gt 'bank', 'start'
 			end
 		end
 
@@ -84,7 +84,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 				killvar 'kartaOUT'
 				gs 'stat'
 
-				act 'Walk away':gt 'bank', 'start'
+				act 'Walk away': gt 'bank', 'start'
 			end
 
 			if bankDebtLimitRaised = 0 and karta >= 15000:
@@ -92,9 +92,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 					if $region = 'city':
 						gt 'bank', 'loan_officer', 'start'
 					else
-						'You approach the teller and say, “Hello, I''d like to talk to someone about increasing my credit limit.”'
-						*nl
-						'The teller nods and tells you, “Unfortunately our credit limit functions are being handled through our Saint Petersburg branch. I''m sure they''d be happy to help you there.”'
+						'You approach the teller. "Hello. I''d like to talk to someone about increasing my credit limit."'
+						'The teller nods. "Unfortunately, our credit limit functions are being handled through our Saint Petersburg branch. I''m sure they''d be happy to help you there."'
 						delact 'See about increasing your credit limit'
 					end
 				end
@@ -118,7 +117,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 			minut += 15
 			BurgerQW['BankTask'] = 2
 			gs 'stat'
-			'You went to the office and showed the required documents to the manager.'
+			'You enter the office and show the required documents to the manager.'
 
 			act 'Leave': minut += 5 & gt 'bank', 'leave'
 		end
@@ -132,54 +131,49 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'loan_officer':
 		menu_off = 1
 		minut += 15
 		gs 'stat'
-
-		'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/001.jpg"></center>'
 		'You speak to the teller, who tells you to have a seat in the waiting room.'
-		'After waiting about 15 minutes, you are called back to an office, where a handsome young executive awaits.'
-		'Standing, he extends his hand and says, "Hello, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>, my name is Filip Karpenko. I''m the Loan Officer here at VTB Bank. How can I help you today?"'
+		'After waiting about 15 minutes, you''re called back to an office where a handsome young executive awaits.'
+		'He extends his hand. "Hello, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>, I''m Filip Karpenko, the Loan Officer here at VTB Bank. How can I help you today?"'
 
-		act 'I''d like to talk about increasing my credit limit, please.':
+		act 'Talk about increasing your credit limit':
 			*clr & cla
-			'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/002.jpg"></center>'
-			'Karpenko nods and asks, "How large a loan were you thinking of taking out?"'
-			'Marshaling your nerve and trying to appear confident, you say, "I was thinking of maybe... 50.000 rubles?"'
+			'Karpenko nods. "How large a loan were you thinking of taking out?"'
+			'You try to appear confident. "I was thinking of maybe... 50,000 <b>₽</b>?"'
 			*nl
-			'"Let me just review your information for a moment," Karpenko says, typing into his computer.'
-			'He reads what appears on his monitor, a ghost of a frown appearing on his face. Suddenly you feel rather foolish for asking for so much money when you''re a young girl not even established in the world yet!'
+			'"Let me just review your information for a moment," he replies and starts typing into his computer.'
+			'He reads what appears on his monitor, a ghost of a frown appearing on his face as you suddenly feel rather foolish for asking for so much money.'
 			*nl
-			'You shift in your chair, and the next couple of minutes seem very long indeed before Karpenko finally looks up from his screen and says, "I''m sorry, but you seem to have very little in the way of assets or collateral, and you''re very young to be taking out such a significant loan. I''m afraid the bank can''t take a risk on this proposition at this time."'
+			'You shift in your chair and the next few minutes seem to drag in before Karpenko finally looks up from his screen. "I''m sorry, but you seem to have very little in the way of assets or collateral, and you''re very young to be taking out such a significant loan. I''m afraid the bank can''t take a risk on this proposition at this time."'
 			gs 'stat'
 
-			act 'Isn''t there some way you could reconsider, Mr. Karpenko?':
+			act 'Try and seduce him':
 				*clr & cla
-				'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/003.jpg"></center>'
-				'"I''m sorry, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>, but my decision is final," Karpenko says firmly.'
+				'"I''m sorry, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>, but my decision is final," he says firmly.'
 				*nl
-				'You rise from your chair, but you don''t turn and walk away. Instead you approach the loan officer and lean in, giving him an excellent view of your cleavage.'
-				'"It''s true I don''t have any real collateral" you tell him in a soft, sultry voice, "but that doesn''t mean I don''t have something you want. I think if we put our minds to it, we can come up with conditions that benefit us both."'
+				'You rise from your chair, but you don''t turn and walk away. Instead, you approach him and lean in, giving him an excellent view of your cleavage.'
+				'"It''s true I don''t have any real collateral," you tell him in a soft, sultry voice. "but that doesn''t mean I don''t have something you want. If we put our minds to it, we can come up with conditions that benefit us both..."'
 				*nl
-				'Karpenko stares at your breasts as they strain against your top, then looks into your eyes. "I suppose there may be some way we can work out a deal, if you''re willing to be... cooperative."'
+				'Karpenko stares at your breasts, then looks into your eyes. "I suppose there may be some way we can work out a deal, if you''re willing to be... cooperative."'
 
 				gs 'bank', 'loan_officer', 'sex_start'
 			end
 
-			act 'Sadly rise and head for the door':
+			act 'Leave':
 				*clr & cla
-				'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/004.jpg"></center>'
 				'"Wait, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>," Karpenko says as you turn away. "You seem like a trustworthy young lady. There may be a way I can arrange this loan if you''re willing to be... cooperative."'
 				*nl
-				'You''re young, but even so there''s little doubt about what sort of cooperation he''s talking about – the way his eyes are undressing you as you stand before him makes his intentions quite plain.'
+				'You''re young, but even so there''s little doubt about what sort of cooperation he''s implying. The way his eyes are undressing you as you stand before him makes his intentions quite plain.'
 				'He wants you to use your body as collateral! Is that really something you would consider? Is the loan really worth that much to you?'
 
 				gs 'bank', 'loan_officer', 'sex_start'
 			end
 		end
 
-		act 'Actually, I''ve changed my mind. Sorry to bother you.':
+		act 'Change your mind':
 			minut += 3
 			gt 'bank', 'start'
 		end
@@ -190,7 +184,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'loan_officer':
 		if pcs_inhib >= 35 and stat['vaginal'] ! 0:
 			gs 'willpower', 'sex', 'self', 'medium'
 			if will_cost <= pcs_willpwr:
-				act 'I think you''ll find that I can be very cooperative, Mr. Karpenko..." (<<will_cost>> Willpower)':
+				act 'Co-operate (<<will_cost>> Willpower)':
 					*clr & cla
 					gs 'willpower', 'pay', 'self'
 					gs 'stat'
@@ -203,41 +197,29 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'loan_officer':
 					$npc_notes[$npclastgenerated] = 'A young Loan Officer for VTB Bank'
 					gs 'npcpreservec', $npclastgenerated
 					$boy = $npclastsaved
-
-					'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/005.jpg"></center>'
 					'"Time to put your mouth where my money is, girl," Karpenko says with a grin that''s just a little unnerving. You start to get the sense that you might just be in for more than you bargained for with this man, but it''s too late to back out now.'
-					*nl
 					'Affecting your sultriest walk and your hungriest gaze, you approach him as he rises from his chair. You open your mouth to say some sophisticated-sounding banter, but Karpenko cuts you off by grabbing your waist and pulling you toward him, stopping your speech by filling your mouth with his probing tongue.'
-					*nl
-					'You gasp involuntarily at his forceful approach, but after a moment you regain some sense of composure. You know what you have to do, so you might as well do it. And who knows? You might actually like it too. You begin kissing him back, alternately probing his mouth and sucking his tongue like a miniature cock.'
-					*nl
-
+					'You gasp involuntarily at his forceful approach, but after a moment you regain some sense of composure. You begin kissing him back, alternately probing his mouth and sucking his tongue like a miniature cock.'
 					gs 'arousal', 'kiss', 10, 'sub'
 					gs 'stat'
 
-					act 'Get his cock ready to fuck you':
+					act 'Get his cock ready':
 						*clr & cla
-						'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/007.jpg"></center>'
-						'After a few moments of tangling tongues, Karpenko sits down in his chair with a nasty grin and says, "You came in here to beg for a loan, didn''t you? I think sluts beg best on their knees with their mouths full."'
-						*nl
-						'"Yes, sir," you murmur as you sink to your knees and crawl under the table to go between his legs. Fifty thousand rubles is a lot of money, and if Karpenko wants you to perform like a submissive whore for it, then that''s exactly what you''ll do. And if your pussy is getting a little wet at this treatment, well, you can''t be blamed for that. It is rather thrilling!'
-						*nl
-						'His cock is already hard in his pants as you undo his zipper and fish it out. You pause only for a moment to admire the tool – at 21 thick, glorious centimeters, it is worthy of a little admiration – before putting your skilled mouth to work. You run your tongue up the thick vein on the underside, feeling his heat and tasting his salty flavor, until you come to his flaring mushroom head. Your eyes lock with his as you swirl your tongue around the glans before you swallow him into your throat. You spend the next several minutes on your knees and he spends the next several minutes loving your attentions.'
+						'After a few minutes, Karpenko sits on his chair with a nasty grin. "You came in here to beg for a loan, didn''t you? I think sluts beg best on their knees with their mouths full."'
+						'"Yes, sir," you murmur as you sink to your knees and crawl under the table.'
+						'His cock is already hard in his pants as you undo his zipper and fish it out. You pause only for a moment to admire the tool – at 21 thick, glorious centimeters, it''s worthy of a little admiration – before putting your skilled mouth to work. You run your tongue up the thick vein on the underside, feeling his heat and tasting his salty flavor until you come to his flaring head. Your eyes lock with his as you swirl your tongue around the glans before you swallow him into your throat.'
 						*nl
-						'Finally your efforts bear fruit as Karpenko says, "Let''s move over to the sofa. Time to put that pussy of yours to work!"'
-
+						'Finally your efforts bear fruit. "Let''s move over to the sofa. Time to put that pussy of yours to work!"'
 						gs 'arousal', 'bj', 15, 'sub'
 						gs 'stat'
 
 						act 'Lie on your side':
 							*clr & cla
-							'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/008.jpg"></center>'
-							'Karpenko leads you to the leather-covered sofa in his room and lies down on it, pulling you in to spoon with him. You barely get settled before he turns your head and puts his mouth on yours, and you''re still kissing him when, a few moments later, he pushes his cock into your tight, hungry pussy. In a single, swift movement he has buried himself into you up to the balls, its thick length making you gasp into his mouth. Without a pause he begins to fuck you, his hips pushing forward into your ass as he plunders your depths, and before long you lose yourself in the pleasure and find yourself pushing back into him to take every millimeter into you.'
-							*nl
-
+							'Karpenko leads you to the leather-covered sofa and lies down on it, pulling you in to spoon with him. You barely get settled before he turns your head and starts kissing you. A few minutes later, he pushes his cock into your pussy.'
+							'In a single, swift movement, he has buried himself in you, his thick length making you gasp into his mouth as he starts to fuck you, his hips pushing forward into your ass. Before long, you lose yourself in the pleasure and find yourself pushing back into him.'
 							gs 'arousal', 'kiss', -5, 'sub'
 							gs 'arousal', 'vaginal', 15, 'sub'
 							gs 'stat'
@@ -246,37 +228,28 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'loan_officer':
 								*clr & cla
 								'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 								'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/009.jpg"></center>'
-								'With a growled, “I want you on top, you sweet little whore,” Karpenko pulls his dick out of you and rolls to his back. You swing atop him, and he holds your hips as you reach between your legs and grasp his cock to hold it upright, and both of you gasp in unison as you settle down on it and feel it fill your hungry cunt. You take it all the way down until you''re sitting on his balls and then, eyes closed begin to ride him.'
-								*nl
-								'"You''re a dirty little slut, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>," Karpenko muses as you bounce on him, and you can''t really argue the point since you''re fucking him to get a bank loan. And damn but it feels good, with his thick cock stretching you and finding wonderful depths to your pussy. You grind your hips against him putting friction on your clit, then start riding him again, making yourself gasp every time you take him to the hilt.'
-								*nl
-
+								'"I want you on top, you sweet little whore," he growls as pulls his dick out of you and rolls onto his back. You swing atop him, and he holds your hips as you reach between your legs and grasp his cock. Both of you gasp in unison as you settle down on it and feel it fill your pussy once again. You take it all inside you and then, eyes closed, begin to ride him.'
+								'"You''re a dirty little slut, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>," Karpenko muses as you bounce on him, his thick cock stretching you and finding wonderful depths to your pussy. You grind your hips against him, putting friction on your clit as you take him to the hilt.'
 								gs 'arousal', 'vaginal', 15, 'sub'
 								gs 'stat'
 
-								act 'Taking it like a bitch': gt 'bank', 'loan_officer', 'sex_finish'
+								act 'Take it': gt 'bank', 'loan_officer', 'sex_finish'
 							end
 						end
 
 						act 'Get on top':
 							*clr & cla
-							'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/009.jpg"></center>'
-							'Karpenko leads you to the plush leather sofa and lies down on his back, and you waste no time climbing atop him. He holds your hips as you reach between your legs and grasp his cock to hold it upright, and both of you gasp in unison as you settle down on it and feel it fill your hungry cunt. You take it all the way down until you''re sitting on his balls and then, eyes closed begin to ride him.'
-							*nl
-							'"You''re a dirty little slut, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>," Karpenko muses as you bounce on him, and you can''t really argue the point since you''re fucking him to get a bank loan. And damn but it feels good, with his thick cock stretching you and finding wonderful depths to your pussy. You grind your hips against him putting friction on your clit, then start riding him again, making yourself gasp every time you take him to the hilt.'
-							*nl
-
+							'Karpenko leads you to the plush leather sofa and lies down on his back. You waste no time climbing atop him and he holds your hips as you reach between your legs and grasp his cock. Both of you gasp in unison as you settle down on it and feel it fill your pussy once again. You take it all inside you and then, eyes closed, begin to ride him.'
+								'"You''re a dirty little slut, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>," Karpenko muses as you bounce on him, his thick cock stretching you and finding wonderful depths to your pussy. You grind your hips against him, putting friction on your clit as you take him to the hilt.'
 							gs 'arousal', 'vaginal', 15, 'sub'
 							gs 'stat'
 
 							act 'Spoon-fucking':
 								*clr & cla
-								'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 								'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/008.jpg"></center>'
-								'"On your side now," Karpenko tells you gruffly. You clamber off and let him adjust himself against the back of the sofa before moving to join him. He grabs you roughly, pulling you in to spoon with him. You barely get settled before he turns your head and puts his mouth on yours, and you''re still kissing him when, a few moments later, he pushes his cock into your tight, hungry pussy. In a single, swift movement he has buried himself into you up to the balls, its thick length making you gasp into his mouth. Without a pause he begins to fuck you, his hips pushing forward into your ass as he plunders your depths, and before long you find yourself pushing back into him to take every millimeter into you.'
-								*nl
-
+								'"On your side now," Karpenko tells you gruffly and you clamber off and let him adjust himself against the back of the sofa before moving to join him. He grabs you roughly, pulling you in to spoon with him. You barely get settled before he turns your head and starts kissing you. A few minutes later, he pushes his cock into your pussy.'
+								'In a single, swift movement, he has buried himself in you, his thick length making you gasp into his mouth as he starts to fuck you, his hips pushing forward into your ass. Before long, you lose yourself in the pleasure and find yourself pushing back into him.'
 								gs 'arousal', 'kiss', -5
 								gs 'arousal', 'vaginal', 15, 'sub'
 								gs 'stat'
@@ -287,21 +260,19 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'loan_officer':
 					end
 				end
 			else
-				act 'I think you''ll find that I can be very cooperative, Mr. Karpenko..." (<font color="red"><<will_cost>> Willpower</font>)': '<br><font color="red">You don''t have enough willpower to use this action.</font>'
+				act 'Co-operate(<font color="red"><<will_cost>> Willpower</font>)': '<br><font color="red">You don''t have enough willpower to use this action.</font>'
 			end
 		end
 
-		act 'No, sleeping with a man for money is not something you''re willing to do!':
+		act 'Refuse':
 			*clr & cla
-			'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/006.jpg"></center>'
-			'"I''m sorry, Mr. Karpenko," you say as you pull away, "but I really can''t do this after all I''m just not that sort of girl. I''m sorry to waste your time."'
+			'"I''m sorry," you say as you pull away, "I''m just not that sort of girl. Sorry to waste your time."'
 			'You turn and head for the door, but Karpenko''s voice stops you before you reach it. "Wait a moment, Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>. Before you go, I want you to know that this offer remains open. If you change your mind, you can return at any time and we can arrange the loan you desire."'
-			'"I... will keep that in mind," you mutter as you throw open the door and run back to the safety of the lobby.'
-			*nl
+			'"I''ll... Keep that in mind," you mutter as you throw the door open and run back to the safety of the lobby.'
 			gs 'stat'
 
-			act 'Flee the room':
+			act 'Flee':
 				minut += 10
 				gt 'bank', 'start'
 			end
@@ -309,41 +280,28 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'loan_officer':
 
 	elseif $ARGS[1] = 'sex_finish':
 		*clr & cla
-		'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/010.jpg"></center>'
-		'After several long, wonderful minutes of railing you hard, Karpenko swats your ass loudly and says, "I want to fuck you from behind now. Bend over the table."'
-		*nl
-		'He''s ordering you around like a whore he paid for, but the whole thing is quite thrilling – and he really knows how to use that big dick he''s swinging! You almost jump off the couch and run to the table, bending over and swinging one leg up onto the surface to brace yourself. An instant later Karepenko''s hands are on your upturned ass and then his cock is back inside you – and this time he''s not holding back a bit! He thrusts so fiercely that your whole body shakes every time his hips collide with your ass, and your pussy sucks fiercely at his rod as it hammers in and out.'
-		*nl
-		'You''re trying to be quiet – it would be mortifying if anyone outside this room heard you being screwed like a cheap prostitute! – but he is too forceful and too skilled, and soon you are giving a loud, moaning gasp with every thrust, too lost in the bliss he is giving you to care a damn what happens after he''s done with you. You don''t even know how long that state lasts, lost in pleasure as you are, but you suddenly become aware that he has given you one last particularly deep thrust and is now still as his cock leaps and jumps inside you.'
-		*nl
-
+		'After several minutes, Karpenko smacks your ass. "I want to fuck you from behind now. Bend over the table."'
+		'You slide off the couch and move to bend over, swinging one leg up onto the surface to brace yourself. An instant later, Karepenko''s hands are on your ass and his cock is back inside you. He thrusts so fiercely that your whole body shakes every time his hips collide with your ass and your pussy clenches tightly around him as he hammers in and out.'
+		'You''re trying to be quiet, but he''s too forceful and you''re soon letting out loud, moaning gasps with every thrust, too lost in the bliss he''s giving you to care what happens. You don''t know how long this lasts, lost in pleasure as you are, but you suddenly become aware that he has given you one last particularly deep thrust and suddenly feel his cock twitching inside you.'
 		gs 'arousal', 'vaginal', 15, 'sub'
 		gs 'stat'
 
 		act 'What did you do?!':
 			*clr & cla
-			'<center><b><font color="maroon">Mr. Karpenko</font></b></center>'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/bank/sex/011.jpg"></center>'
-			'Sudden panic surges in you chest and dispels the pleasure-cobwebs in an instant as you demand, "Did you just come inside me?!?"'
-			*nl
-			'Karpenko steps back and a flood of his spunk pours out of your pussy to run down your thighs, but you have no delusions that all of it came out. With a smug grin he grabs a tissue from his desk and starts wiping his dick off, saying, "You just got a loan of 50.000 rubles. Did you really think I would authorize that sort of loan to a girl like you and not finish inside?"'
-			*nl
+			'Sudden panic surges in your chest and dispels the pleasure in an instant. "Did you just cum inside me?!?"'
+			'Karpenko steps back and you feel his cum dribbling out of your pussy and down your thigh as he pants loudly. "You just got a loan of 50,000 <b>₽</b>. Did you really think I would authorize that sort of loan to a girl like you and not finish inside?"'
 			'"But I could get pregnant!" you object.'
 			*nl
-			'"You can afford a hell of a lot of morning after pills," he says with a shrug as he tucks his cock away and sits back at his desk. "Remember, you will need to pay this loan back like any other, and don''t think you can come back for another loan like it in the future. Now, if you''ll excuse me, I have work to do. I trust you can see yourself out."'
-			*nl
-			'Feeling humiliated but richer, you adjust your clothing and open the office door to step out into the hallway. The first thing you see is a cluster of three female bank employees looking at you, and you can see from their smirks and how they whisper to each other that they know exactly what you were up to with the loan officer. Cheeks burning with shame, you hurry away.'
-			*nl
-
+			'"You can afford a hell of a lot of morning after pills," he says with a shrug as he tucks his cock away and sits back at his desk. "Remember, you''ll need to pay this loan back like any other, and don''t think you can come back for another loan like it in the future. Now, if you''ll excuse me, I have work to do. I trust you can see yourself out."'
+			'Feeling humiliated, you adjust your clothing and open the office door to step out into the hallway. The first thing you see is a cluster of three female bank employees looking at you, and you can see from their smirks and how they whisper to each other that they know exactly what you were up to with the loan officer. Cheeks burning with shame, you hurry away.'
 			gs 'cum_call', '', $boy, 1, '', '', 110
 			gs 'cuminsidereact', 'Mr. Karpenko'
 			gs 'fame', 'city', 'sex', 3
 			gs 'arousal', 'end'
-
 			bankDebtLimit += 45000
 			money += 45000
-
 			bankDebtLimitRaised = 1
 			minut += 30
 			gs 'stat'
@@ -500,10 +458,10 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'cikl':
 		if mey_vika['mey_vika_qw'] >= 35 and mey_tamara['qw_end'] = 0:
 			if mey_tamara['help_count'] < 10:
 				karta += 10000
-				'<b><font color=green>For your efforts aunt Tamara gave you 10,000 rubles</font></b>'
+				'<b><font color=green>Aunt Tamara gave you 10,000 rubles for your efforts</font></b>'
 			else
 				karta += 15000
-				'<b><font color=green>For your efforts aunt Tamara gave you 15,000 rubles</font></b>'
+				'<b><font color=green>Aunt Tamara gave you 15,000 rubles for your efforts</font></b>'
 			end
 			mey_tamara['help_count'] = 0
 		end
@@ -537,7 +495,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'cikl':
 			karta += pay
 			smenaSalon = 0
 			nopaysalon = 1
-			'<b><font color="green">Your salary of <<pay>> <b>₽</b> has been paid into your bank account for your work in a beauty salon.</font></b>'
+			'<b><font color="green">Your salary of <<pay>> <b>₽</b> has been paid into your bank account for your work in the beauty salon.</font></b>'
 		end
 
 		if tanwork = 1 and nopaytanwork = 0:
@@ -588,28 +546,28 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'cikl':
 		if func('homes_properties', 'get_owned_homes_count') > 0 and electroday = 0:
 			gs 'housing', 'util'
 			if bankAccount = 1 and karta - bankDebtLimit >= elektro:
-				'<b><font color="green"><<elektro>> <b>₽</b> for utilities, has been automatically deducted from your bank account.</font></b>'
+				'<b><font color="green"><<elektro>> <b>₽</b> for utilities has been automatically deducted from your bank account.</font></b>'
 				electroday = 1
 				if elektro >= 2000:
-					elektro = 2000 + rand(0, 100)
+					elektro = 2000 + rand(0,100)
 					karta -= elektro * hcount_util
 				end
 			elseif bankAccount = 1 and karta >= elektro:
-				'<b><font color="green"><<elektro>> <b>₽</b> for utilities, has been automatically deducted from your bank account and overdraw facility. Please contact your bank.</font></b>'
+				'<b><font color="green"><<elektro>> <b>₽</b> for utilities has been automatically deducted from your bank account and overdraw facility. Please contact your bank.</font></b>'
 				electroday = 1
 				if elektro >= 2000:
-					elektro = 2000 + rand(0, 100)
+					elektro = 2000 + rand(0,100)
 					karta -= elektro * hcount_util
 				end
 			elseif bankAccount = 0 and money >= elektro:
-				'<b><font color="red">You currently do not have a bank account setup for automatic utilities payments. <<elektro>> <b>₽</b> has been deducted from your cash holdings.</font></b>'
+				'<b><font color="red">You currently do not have a bank account set up for automatic utilities payments. <<elektro>> <b>₽</b> has been deducted from your cash holdings.</font></b>'
 				electroday = 1
 				if elektro >= 2000:
-					elektro = 2000 + rand(0, 100)
+					elektro = 2000 + rand(0,100)
 					money -= elektro * hcount_util
 				end
 			else
-				'<b><font color="red">Your card was declined during automatic debit of <<elektro>> <b>₽</b>, for automatic utilities payment.</font></b>'
+				'<b><font color="red">Your card was declined during automatic debit of <<elektro>> <b>₽</b> for automatic utilities payment.</font></b>'
 			end
 		end
 
@@ -617,15 +575,15 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'cikl':
 		if kabel > 0 and kabelday = 0:
 			gs 'housing', 'cable'
 			if bankAccount = 1 and karta - bankDebtLimit >= (300 * hcount_cable):
-				'<b><font color="green">300 <b>₽</b> has been deducted from your bank account, for you cable TV subscription.</font></b>'
+				'<b><font color="green">300 <b>₽</b> has been deducted from your bank account for your cable TV subscription.</font></b>'
 				kabelday = 1
 				karta -= 300 * hcount_cable
 			elseif bankAccount = 1 and karta >= (300 * hcount_cable):
-				'<b><font color="green">300 <b>₽</b> has been deducted from your bank account and overdraw facility, for you cable TV subscription.</font></b>'
+				'<b><font color="green">300 <b>₽</b> has been deducted from your bank account and overdraw facility for your cable TV subscription.</font></b>'
 				kabelday = 1
 				karta -= 300 * hcount_cable
 			elseif bankAccount = 0 and money >= (300 * hcount_cable):
-				'<b><font color="red">You currently do not have a bank account setup for automatic payment of your cable TV subscription. 300 <b>₽</b> has been deducted from your cash holdings.</font></b>'
+				'<b><font color="red">You currently do not have a bank account set up for automatic payment of your cable TV subscription. 300 <b>₽</b> has been deducted from your cash holdings.</font></b>'
 				kabelday = 1
 				money -= 300 * hcount_cable
 			else

locations/newspaper_pages.qsrc

@@ -67,26 +67,27 @@ end
 	!!=======================================================!!
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'generic_0':
-	'<center>Mysterious lights over pushkin</center>'
+	'<center>Mysterious lights over Pushkin</center>'
 	*nl
-	'Last night there was several reports of floating lights over Pushkin lake, authorities have dismissed it as light bouncing off the water into low mist. However eye witness reports and photographs discredit the official report.'
+	'Last night saw several reports of floating lights over Pushkin lake. Authorities have dismissed eyewitness reports and photographs as light bouncing off the water into low mist.'
 	'Read more on page 4.'
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'generic_1':
 	'<center>Missing cosmonaut found living in cave in Vladivostok</center>'
 	*nl
-	'Former cosmonaut Valentin Vitalyevich Lebedev (82) had been reported missing 3 weeks ago after he failed to turn up for a state function celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Scientific Geoinformation Center of the Russian Academy of Science which Valentin started and is the director of. He was found in a cave with only basic amenities and a small supply of food. When asked why he was there he simply said he''d grown sick of fancy dinners and red tape. He plans to return to his home and duties next week.'
+	'Former cosmonaut Valentin Vitalyevich Lebedev (82), who was reported missing 3 weeks ago after he failed to turn up for a state function celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Scientific Geoinformation Center of the Russian Academy of Science (of which he is the director) was found in a cave with only basic amenities and a small supply of food.'
+	'When asked why he was there, he simply said he''d grown sick of fancy dinners and red tape. He plans to return to his home and duties next week.'
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'generic_2':
 	'<center>Help advance medical research today</center>'
 	*nl
-	'A St. Petersburg based medical clinic is offering significant payments to those that are willing to take part in their medical trials. We have interviewed various participants.'
+	'A St. Petersburg based medical clinic is offering significant payments to those who are willing to take part in their medical trials. We have interviewed various participants.'
 	'"All I had to do was swallow a pill and report back a week later. Took me less than 10 minutes and haven''t regretted it!"'
-	'"The staff is very friendly and helpful. My hair grew 20 cm, and even got paid for it! That''s a steal if you ask me."'
+	'"The staff are very friendly and helpful. My hair grew 20 cm and I got paid for it! That''s a steal if you ask me."'
 	'[Redacted]'
-	'"I''ve taken part in multiple trials now, and I haven''t had any complaints! Best decision of my life to take part."'
+	'"I''ve taken part in multiple trials now, and I haven''t had any complaints! Best decision of my life!"'
 	*nl
 	'Signup for a medical trial today, and help build a brighter future!'
 
@@ -106,14 +107,14 @@ end
 if $ARGS[0] = 'Gad_missing':
 	'<center>More missing people in Gadukino</center>'
 	*nl
-	'Today <<$NewspaperVars[''gad_missing_name'']>> name, <<NewspaperVars[''gad_missing_age'']>> has been reported missing in Gadukino. They was last seen four days ago foraging in the forest. This makes this the <<NewspaperVars[''gad_missing_counter'']>> person that has gone missing in recent months and the authorities are at a loss in trying to locate to what has happened to them.'
+	'<<$NewspaperVars[''gad_missing_name'']>>, <<NewspaperVars[''gad_missing_age'']>>, has been reported missing in Gadukino. Last seen four days ago while foraging in the forest, they are the <<NewspaperVars[''gad_missing_counter'']>> person who has disappeared from the village in recent months and authorities are at a loss in trying to locate them.'
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'boris_arrested':
-	'<center>Mayor Election Scandal</center>'
+	'<center>Mayoral Candidate Disgraced</center>'
 	*nl
-	'In a shocking turn of events the Mayoral candidate Boris Barlovsky has been arrested and is under investigation for numerous offences including running an escort services in Pavlosk.'
-	'We can exclusively reveal the full scandal on page 3.'
+	'In a turn of events that has shocked many, mayoral candidate Boris Barlovsky has been arrested following an extensive investigation carried out by FSB agents. The once popular Pavlovsk businessman (57) was charged with bribery, fraud and embezzlement among a string of other offences.'
+	'Read the exclusive story on page 3.'
 end