[text edit] Text edits from MidnightMoose

locations/dvor.qsrc

@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ menu_off = 1
 $location_type = 'public_outdoors'
 set minut += 5
 gs 'stat'
-'<center><B>Vacant house</B></center>'
+'<center><B>Vacant House</B></center>'
 '<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/oldtown/dvor1.jpg" ></center>'
 
 act 'Go to town center':gt 'liam' & minut += 5

locations/koncepod.qsrc

@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ if hour <= 7 or hour >= 21:
     cla
     *clr
     '<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/oldtown/vacanthouse/koncepod1.jpg" ></center>'
-    'The concierge counter is empty.'
+    'The concierge''s desk is empty.'
 else
     cla
     *clr
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ else
 		'Sorry, but the apartment has already been rented.'
 	end
 
-	act 'Go up stairs':gt'koncepod1','krr2x1'
+	act 'Go upstairs':gt'koncepod1','krr2x1'
 
 
 
@@ -29,16 +29,15 @@ else
 		nurand = RAND(0,100)
 		if nurand >= 90:
 			pcs_mood -= 5
-			'As you walk away you heard the barely audible murmur from the concierge "That slut! She walks around in a short skirt and no panties, ass and pussy on display for all to see!"'
+			'As you walk away you hear the concierge hissing under his breath, "That slut! She walks around in a short skirt and no panties. Ass and pussy on display for all to see!"'
 		end
 	end
 
 	if pcs_makeup = 4 and hour >= 7 and hour <= 21:
-		'As you walk away you heard the barely audible murmur from the concierge "Oh, look at her now. All painted up like some cheap whore."'
+		'As you walk away you hear the concierge hissing under his breath, "Oh, look at her now, all painted up like some cheap whore!"'
 	end
 end
 
 act 'Leave':gt'dvor'
 
---- koncepod ---------------------------------
-
+--- koncepod ---------------------------------

locations/koncepod1.qsrc

@@ -21,9 +21,9 @@ if $ARGS[0]='krr2x1':
     '<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/oldtown/vacanthouse/koncepod3.jpg" ></center>'
 
     if psiho = 0:
-        'You stopped at the door and immediately opened it. You have the eerie feeling of the presence of the old man, causing a chill to run down your spine.'
-        'You look at your hand and try to focus on it, and get rid of delusions.'
-        'Heart pounding, like the beating wings of a bird in a snare, gradually you start to calm down, looking at the usual architecture, the flight of stairs and the general atmosphere of the old building helps, and you begin to calm you down.'
+        'You stop at the door and immediately open it. You have the eerie feeling of the presence of the old man, causing a chill to run down your spine.'
+        'You look at your hand and try to focus on it so that you can rid yourself of the feeling.'
+        'You heart pounds, like the beating wings of a bird in a snare. Looking at the usual architecture, the flight of stairs, and the general atmosphere of the old building helps. You begin to calm down.'
 
         act 'Quickly go inside':gt'koncepod1','krr2x'
     end

locations/liam.qsrc

@@ -37,15 +37,15 @@ else
 	end
 end
 
-'The old part of the city, usually call old town. A couple of centuries ago, this was the village of Pushkin.'
-'Later, the rich bought land off the poor here and knocked down the wooden shacks and farm houses to build large houses. As the city continued to grow rapidly, it became a desirable suburb.'
-'Since then even the old houses have been improved, extended and modernized. The old buildings and beautiful park make it popular with tourists and it has become part of Pavlovsk.'
+'The old part of the city, usually called Old Town. A few of centuries ago, this was the village of Pushkin.'
+'Later, the rich bought the land off the poor and knocked down the wooden shacks and farm houses to build large estates. The city began to grow rapidly and it became a desirable suburb.'
+'Since then, even the old houses have been improved, extended, and modernized. The old buildings and beautiful park made it popular with tourists, and it has became part of Pavlovsk.'
 
-'Not far from here is the quiet <a href="exec:gt ''liames'',''start''">high street</a>.'
+'Not far from here is the quiet <a href="exec:gt ''liames'',''start''">High Street</a>.'
 'Close by is a narrow street leading to a <a href="exec:gt ''dvor'',''start''">vacant house</a>.'
-'You see a <a href="exec:gt ''ugol'',''start''">passage</a> between the houses lead to a courtyard.'
+'You see a <a href="exec:gt ''ugol'',''start''">passage</a> between the houses leading to a courtyard.'
 if car > 0 and cardrive = 14:
-	'I parked at the curb <a href="exec:gs ''carF'',''start''">your <<$car>></a>.'
+	'<a href="exec:gs ''carF'',''start''">Your <<$car>></a> is parked at the curb.'
 end
 
 if hour >= 13 and hour <= 15 and bodimodel = 1 and arts = 0 and tusa = 1:
@@ -56,13 +56,13 @@ if hour >= 13 and hour <= 15 and bodimodel = 1 and arts = 0 and tusa = 1:
 		gs'dibodi'
 
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/oldtown/marinka/marinka.jpg"></center>'
-		'Suddenly you notice a girl from the local hangouts Marinka, I am standing at the door.'
+		'While standing at the door, you notice a girl from the local hangout, Marinka.'
 
 		act 'Ask':gt 'dibodi', 'sptusa'
 	end
 end
 
-if arts = 1:'Apartment <a href="exec:gt ''Marin'',''start''">Marina</a>'
+if arts = 1:'<a href="exec:gt ''Marin'',''start''">Marina''s Apartment</a>'
 
 act 'Walk to the train station (0:15)':minut += 15 & nroad = 15 & gt 'pavTrain'
 act 'Walk to Pavlovsk park (0:10)':minut += 10 & nroad = 10 & gt 'gskver', 'start'
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ if pushkin_walk_day ! daystart:
 		pcs_willpwr += 1
 		pushkin_walk_day = daystart
 		gs 'stat'
-		'You breathe in the fresh air and slowly walk along the narrow streets of the Old Town admiring the beautiful architecture.'
+		'You breathe in the fresh air and slowly walk along the narrow streets of the Old Town, admiring the beautiful architecture.'
 		act 'Continue': gt'liam', 'start'
 	end
 end

locations/liamelkafe.qsrc

@@ -6,11 +6,11 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	menu_off = 0
 	$location_type = 'indoors'
 	gs 'stat'
-	'<center><B><font color=maroon>Tiny Cafe</font></B></center>'
+	'<center><B><font color=maroon>Liamel Cafe</font></B></center>'
 	*nl
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/oldtown/cafe/larek.jpg" ></center>'
 	*nl
-	'You enter a tiny cafe, consisting of very little floor space packed with small tables.'
+	'What little floor space the quaint cafe has, is packed with many small tables and chairs.'
 
 	act 'Leave the cafe':gt 'liames'
 
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'food':
 	$menu_loc = 'liamelkafe'
 	$menu_arg = 'food'
 	menu_off = 0
-	'<center><B><font color=maroon>Tiny Cafe</font></B></center>'
+	'<center><B><font color=maroon>Liamel Cafe</font></B></center>'
 	*nl
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/oldtown/cafe/larek.jpg" ></center>'
 

locations/liames.qsrc

@@ -22,44 +22,44 @@ set borMir=0
 set borLoker=0
 set minut+=10
 
-'<center><B>High street</B></center>'
+'<center><B>High Street</B></center>'
 '<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/oldtown/liames.jpg" ></center>'
-'Not so much of a street, more of a connection of several streets including cafes and shops.'
-'A street runs straight to the <a href="exec:gt ''liam'',''start''">Town center</a>.'
-'Street leads to the Old Town <a href="exec:gt ''parks'',''start''">park</a>.'
+'High Street is a square serving as the joining point of several smaller streets.  There are many small cafes and shops.'
+'Another street runs straight to the <a href="exec:gt ''liam'',''start''">Town Center</a>.'
+'High Street itself leads to the Old Town <a href="exec:gt ''parks'',''start''">Park</a>.'
 if hour >= 8 and hour <= 20:
-	'A small <a href="exec:gt ''larek'',''start''">shop</a> is currently open.'
+	'A small <a href="exec:gt ''larek'',''start''">grocery store</a> is currently open.'
 else
-	'There is a small local shop that is open 8:00 - 20:00 everyday. Currently closed.'
+	'There is a small whole foods store that is open from 8:00 - 20:00 everyday. It is currently closed.'
 end
 
 if hour >= 10 and hour <= 22:
-	'A <a href="exec:gt ''liamelkafe'',''start''">tiny cafe</a> displays a street sign outside its door.'
+	'A quaint little restaurant has put a sign outside of its door, reading, "<a href="exec:gt ''liamelkafe'',''start''">Liamel Cafe</a>."'
 else
-	'The tiny cafe here is close currently, it is open every day 10:00 - 22:00'
+	'Liamel Cafe is current closed, it is open every day 10:00 - 22:00'
 end
 
 if exhibitionQW > 3:
 	if week < 7 and hour >= 8 and hour <= 18:
 		'<a href="exec:gt ''exhibitionistshop'',''start''">Expression of You</a> is just down a small side street from here.'
 	else
-		'Expression of You is open Mon - Sat, 8:00 - 18:00'
+		'<b>Expression of You,</b> is open Mon - Sat, 8:00 - 18:00'
 	end
 end
 
 if hour >= 18 and hour <= 22:
 	if pcs_inhib > 30:
-		'An old theatre here is now a <a href="exec:gt ''burlesque'',''start''">burlesque club</a> with shows running until 22:00.'
+		'There is a <a href="exec:gt ''burlesque'',''start''">burlesque club</a> with shows running until 22:00, that was once an old theatre.'
 	else
-		'There is a burlesque club in an old theatre here. It makes you self-conscious about your own looks and you cannot bring yourself to go there.'
+		'There is a burlesque club in an old theatre here. It makes you self-conscious about your looks and you cannot bring yourself to go there.'
 	end
 else
 	'The old theatre housing a burlesque club is closed now. It is open every day 18:00 - 22:00'
 end
 
-if home_owned[4] = 1: act '<b>Go home</b>':gt'korr2x'
+if home_owned[4] = 1: act '<b>Go home.</b>':gt'korr2x'
 
-if hour >= 8 and hour <= 17 and exhibitionQW = 3: act 'Search for the shop on the card from Kseniya': gt 'exhibitionistshop', 'start'
+if hour >= 8 and hour <= 17 and exhibitionQW = 3: act 'Search for the shop on the card from Kseniya.': gt 'exhibitionistshop', 'start'
 
 act 'wait':gs 'obj_din', 'wait'
 
@@ -77,12 +77,12 @@ if streetrand >= 60 and pcs_lover < 3:
 		'To you came <<$boybody>> <<$boybod>> <<$boyface>>. It <<$boyClo>>'
 		'The guy introduced himself as <<$boydesc>> and I asked for your telephone number.'
 
-		act 'Tell him your telephone number':
+		act 'Tell him your telephone number.':
 			cla
 			gs'boyfrend', 'start'
 			stopboy = 0
-			'<<$boydesc>> record your phone and left.'
-			act 'Complete outing':gt 'liames'
+			'<<$boydesc>> saved your phone number and left.'
+			act 'Complete outing.':gt 'liames'
 		end
 	end
 end
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@ end
 if stallionQ = 3:
 	*clr
 	cla
-	'There is a rumbling in your stomach, you need to use the restroom. Luckily there appears to be a public restroom tucked into the corner of a building. Unluckily, the female one has a sign saying it is out of order.'
+	'There is a rumbling in your stomach, you need to use the restroom. There appears to be a public restroom tucked into the corner of a building. Unfortunately, the female one has a sign reading, "Out of order."'
 	act 'Use the Men''s Restroom':gt 'stallion','start'
 	act 'Hold it':stallionQ = 1 & gt 'liames'
 end
@@ -103,7 +103,7 @@ if temp >= 90:
 	gs'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/oldtown/liamhud1.jpg"></center>'
 
-	'You have seen both a sitting area-the artist, here the artist girl came and sat opposite him,and the artist began to paint it'
+	'Making your way down High Street, you see a woman waiting patiently while an artist paints her portrait.'
 
 	act 'Further':gt'liames'
 end
@@ -131,8 +131,7 @@ if hour >= 15 and hour <= 22 and tusa = 1 and tusnyakday ! daystart:
 		gs'dibodi'
 		minut += 20
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/oldtown/photo.jpg"></center>'
-		'You came to talking to girls and boys and greeted you.'
-		'In response you too greeted them.'
+		'The girls and boys at the local hangout happily greet you.'
 
 		if $pantyworntype = 'none' and sttan = 0:
 			'- A <<$pcs_nickname>> campaign wears panties - said one of the boys.'

locations/parks.qsrc

@@ -12,15 +12,15 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	gs'stat'
 	'<center><B>Old Town Park</B></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/oldtown/park/parkus.jpg" ></center>'
-	'These gardens of the old palace have been sculpted over many years into wonderful, landscaped gardens with a tranquil atmosphere.'
-	'The old park is a favorite vacation spot for tourists and the main feature of old town.'
+	'The gardens of the old palace have been sculpted over many years into a wonder landscape with a tranquil atmosphere.'
+	'The old park is a favourite vacation spot for tourists and servers as the main feature of Old Town.'
 
-	'Wander deeper into the <a href="exec:gt ''lug'',''start''">park</a> .'
+	'Wander deeper into the <a href="exec:gt ''lug'',''start''">park</a>.'
 
 
-	act 'Go to the high street': minut += 10 &  gt 'liames'
+	act 'Go to High Street': minut += 10 &  gt 'liames'
 
-	act 'Go to the town center': minut += 10 & gt 'liam'
+	act 'Go to Town Center': minut += 10 & gt 'liam'
 
 	act 'Walk around the park (1 hour)':
 		if pcs_exhib = 100 and exhibitionQW = 0: gt 'kseniyaQW', 'event1', 1
@@ -28,9 +28,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 		minut += 60
 		pcs_mood += 10
 		gs'stat'
-		'You leisurely stroll through the park of the Old Town. Breathe in the fresh air, reflecting on the vicissitudes of fate.'
+		'You leisurely stroll through Old Town Park, breathing in the fresh air, and reflecting on the vicissitudes of fate.'
 
-		act 'Complete outing':gt 'parks','start'
+		act 'Complete outing.':gt 'parks','start'
 	end
 
 	gs 'parkivent', 'run'
@@ -75,6 +75,5 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	end
 end
 
-
 --- parks ---------------------------------
 

locations/street_event.qsrc

@@ -186,7 +186,7 @@ if $ARGS[1] = 'main':
 			else
 				streetev_rape = 5
 			end
-		elseif PCloExhibit > 30:
+		elseif PCloInhibit > 30:
 			if alko >= 6:
 				streetev_rape = 3
 			else
@@ -212,7 +212,7 @@ if $ARGS[1] = 'main':
 			else
 				streetev_rape = 10
 			end
-		elseif PCloExhibit > 30:
+		elseif PCloInhibit > 30:
 			if alko >= 6:
 				streetev_rape = 10
 			else