Some proofreading

locations/ParChurch.qsrc

@@ -24,11 +24,11 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><b><font color="maroon">Church of Saint Nikolas</font></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/st-nikolas.jpg"></center>'
-	'Pavlovsk''s only church. The church of Saint Nikolas is the tallest building in town. It''s old, but well maintained by the worshipers of the parish.'
+	'The church of Saint Nikolas is the only church in Pavlovsk and the tallest building in town. It''s very old, but is well maintained by the worshipers of the parish.'
 	''
-	'You can take confession every weekday between 7h and 9h or 16h and 18h. On the weekend between 16h and 18h.'
-	'Vigil is held Saturdays at 19h.'
-	'The Divine Liturgy is on Sundays between 9h and 12h.'
+	'You can attend confession every weekday between 07:00 and 09:00 or 16:00 and 18:00, and on the weekend between 16:00 and 18:00.'
+	'Vigil is held on Saturdays at 19:00.'
+	'The Divine Liturgy is on Sundays between 09:00 and 12:00.'
 
 	act 'Go to the residential area':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_residential'
 	act 'Go to the commercial area':minut += 10 & gt 'pav_commercial'
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 		elseif Churchbad = 3 and Churchbadtime <= daystart:
 			Churchbad = 2
 			*nl
-			'"You figure that the priest has probably calmed down enough by now that you could talk to him."'
+			'"You figure that the priest has probably calmed down enough for you to try talking to him."'
 			act 'Enter the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'Narthex'
 		else
 			act 'Enter the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'Narthex'
@@ -58,51 +58,49 @@ end
 if $ARGS[0] = 'Mom':
 	cla & *clr
 	gs'stat'
-	'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+	'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 	if VKChurchNo = 4 or VKChurchNo = 5:
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost10.jpg"></center>'
 	else
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost9.jpg"></center>'
 	end
 	if motherKnowWhore = 0 and VKChurchIntro = 0:
-		'You suddenly hear someone casually call out, "<<$pcs_firstname>> I never expected you to come here without me dragging you." You turn to see your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> sitting in the middle row. You reply, "Hey <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>." Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> then motions you to sit next to her.'
+		'You suddenly hear someone calling you out. "<<$pcs_firstname>>? I never expected you to come here without me dragging you." You turn to see your mother sitting in the middle row, who motions for you to sit next to her.'
 	elseif motherKnowWhore = 0 and VKChurchNo < 4:
-		'You see your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> sitting in the middle row. She quickly notices you then says, "<<$pcs_firstname>> you''re here. Come here, take a seat." Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> then motions you to sit next to her.'
+		'You see your mother sitting in the middle row, who turns and notices you. "<<$pcs_firstname>>, you''re here! Come and take a seat." She motions for you to sit next to her.'
 	elseif motherKnowWhore = 0 and VKChurchNo = 4:
-		'You see your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> sitting in the middle row. She quickly notices you then get up and walks to you before saying, "<<$pcs_firstname>> we need to talk." She then guides you out of the church.'
+		'You see your mother sitting in the middle row. She quickly notices you, gets up and walks over to you. "<<$pcs_firstname>>, we need to talk." she says sternly as she drags you out of the church.'
 	elseif motherKnowWhore > 0 or VKChurchNo = 5:
-		'You see your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> sitting in the middle row. She peeks over in your direction then turns away from you, as if you were not there.'
+		'You see your mother sitting in the middle row. She peeks over in your direction before turning away from you, as if you''re not there.'
 	else
-		'You see your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> sitting in the middle row. She doesn''t seem to notice you.'
+		'You see your mother sitting in the middle row. She doesn''t seem to notice you.'
 	end
 
 	if motherKnowWhore = 0 and VKChurchNo = 4:
-		act 'Leave the church':gt 'ParChurch', 'Excuses'
+		act 'Make excuses and leave':gt 'ParChurch', 'Excuses'
 	elseif motherKnowWhore = 0:
-		act 'Sit down, next to her':
+		act 'Sit down':
 			cla & *clr
 			VKChurchIntro = 1
 			gs'stat'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images\locations\pavlovsk\church\enterchurch.jpg"></center>'
 			if VKChurch = 0:
-				'You try to make yourself comfortable in the hard wooden chair, waiting for the sermon to start. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> turns to you then says, "It''s been a long time since you''ve been here. I should show you how to follow the sermon." You give your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> a nod before while everyone takes a seat around you. The room slowly silences as the sermon is about to begin.'
+				'You try to make yourself comfortable on the hard wooden pew while waiting for the sermon to start. Your mother turns to you and says "It''s been a long time since you''ve been here. I should show you how to follow the sermon." You give your mother a nod while everyone takes a seat around you. The room slowly silences as the sermon begins.'
 			elseif VKChurch = 1:
-				'You try to make yourself comfortable in the hard wooden chair, waiting for the sermon to start. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> turns to you then says, "It''s good to see you back here. There is so much of our soul then can only be revealed through prayer." You give your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> puzzled look before she follows up with "You might not understand what I mean now but you will" Everyone in the church begin taking their seats as the room slowly silences. The sermon is about to begin.'
+				'You try to make yourself comfortable on the hard wooden pew while waiting for the sermon to start. Your mother turns to you and says "It''s good to see you back here. There is so much of our soul then can only be revealed through prayer." You give your mother a puzzled look.  "You might not understand what I mean now but you will" Everyone in the church begin taking their seats as the room slowly silences. The sermon is about to begin.'
 			elseif VKChurch = 2:
-				'You do your best to make yourself comfortable while the priests prepare for the sermon to start. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> places her hand on your shoulder and says, "Since you have been such a good Christian, I will take you out to eat after this and we can catch up on what''s new with you." You give your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> a smile then nod as you reply, "I would like that" while everyone takes a seat around you. The room slowly silences as the sermon is about to begin.'
+				'You do your best to make yourself comfortable while the priests prepare for the sermon to start. Your mother places her hand on your shoulder and says "Since you have been such a good Christian, I will take you out to eat after this and we can catch up on what''s new with you." You give your mother a smile and nod. "I would like that." Everyone else takes a seat around you and the room slowly silences as the sermon begins.'
 			elseif VKChurch = 3:
-				'You gaze around the room and see the now familiar faces of your church. Some of the them notice you and give you a warm smile while others, seem so preoccupied looking through their bibles. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> rubs your shoulder then says, "You have become a regular here. We are all children of the lord. That is why we all take time out of out day to spend it with each other in this holy place." You give your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> a nod as you contemplate her words while taking another second to look around at all of the familiar faces.'
-				*nl
-				'Watching everyone take a seat around you. Many preparing their bibles in their hand as the sermon begins.'
+				'You gaze around the room and see the now familiar faces of your church. Some of the them notice you and give you a warm smile while others are preoccupied looking through their bibles. Your mother rubs your shoulder. "You''ve become a regular here. We''re all children of the lord, so that''s why we all take time out of our day to spend it with each other in this holy place." You give your mother a nod as you contemplate her words while taking another look around. Many are preparing their bibles as the sermon begins.'
 			elseif VKChurch = 4:
-				'You try to make yourself comfortable in the hard wooden chair, waiting for the sermon to start. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> turns to you then says, "It''s been a long time since you''ve been here. I should show you how to follow the sermon." You give your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> a nod before while everyone takes a seat around you. The room slowly silences as the sermon is about to begin.'
+				'You try to make yourself comfortable on the hard wooden pew while waiting for the sermon to start. Your mother turns to you and says "It''s been a long time since you''ve been here, so I should show you how to follow the sermon." You give your mother a nod while everyone takes a seat around you. The room slowly silences as the sermon is about to begin.'
 			else
-				'You casually lean back in your seat, looking forward to the sermon. You reach over to look into the bible that your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> gave to you and you try to study the psalms while occasionally looking around you and chatting with the other churchgoers Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> joins in and you discuss the word of god until the priest finally enters the room. You slowly close your book then place it on your lap as the sermon begins.'
+				'You casually lean back in your seat, looking forward to the sermon. You start reading the bible your mother gave you, studying the psalms while occasionally looking and chatting with the other churchgoers. Your mother joins in and you discuss the word of god until the priest finally enters the room. You close your book and place it on your lap as the sermon begins.'
 			end
 
 			act 'Begin sermon':gt 'ParChurch', 'Sermon'
 		end
-		act 'Leave':gt 'ParChurch', 'Excuses'
+		act 'Make excuses and leave':gt 'ParChurch', 'Excuses'
 	else
 		act 'Leave':gt 'ParChurch', 'start'
 	end
@@ -115,17 +113,18 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'Sermon':
 	gs'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/church'+ rand(1,5) +'.jpg"></center>'
 	if VK >= 0:
-		'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> listen intently to the priest as he teaches you the word of god. You study his teachings, feeling enlightened, until you reach the end of the sermon. You turn to your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> and she gives you an approving smile before you both stand up.'
-	elseif VKChurch = 0 or VKChurch = 4 and VK = 1:
-		'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>'
-	elseif VKChurch = 1 or VKChurch = 4 and VK = 2:
-		'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>'
-	elseif VKChurch = 2 or VKChurch = 4 and VK = 3:
-		'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>'
-	elseif VKChurch = 3 or VKChurch = 4 and VK = 4:
-		'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>'
-	else
-		'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>'
+		'The candles dim as the sermon begins. You and your mother listen intently to the priest as he preaches the word of god. You study his teachings, feeling enlightened, until you reach the end of the sermon. You turn to your mother and she gives you an approving smile before you both stand up.'
+	 !! Unless I''m mistaken, the intention here seems to be to have different dialogue based on how many times Sveta has attended church, but it''s unfinished and I don''t know what to do with it. - Veng.
+	!!elseif VKChurch = 0 or VKChurch = 4 and VK = 1:
+		!!'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your mother'
+	!!elseif VKChurch = 1 or VKChurch = 4 and VK = 2:
+		!!'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your mother'
+	!!elseif VKChurch = 2 or VKChurch = 4 and VK = 3:
+		!!'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your mother'
+	!!elseif VKChurch = 3 or VKChurch = 4 and VK = 4:
+		!!'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your mother'
+	!!else
+		!!'The candles dim as the sermon begins, you and your mother'
 	end
 
 	act 'Stand up':gt 'ParChurch', 'Narthex'
@@ -138,54 +137,55 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'Excuses':
 	gs'stat'
 	if VKChurchNo = 0:
 		VKChurchNo += 1
-		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost1.jpg"></center>'
-		'You nod and say, "I''d love to stay but I... need to get back to clinic. I am doing volunteer work there." Your mother approvingly nods her head before saying. "You''re volunteering at the clinic? I''m very proud of you. Go on, I''ll see you back at home." You wave to your mother as you walk away.'
+		'"I''d love to stay but I... need to get back to the clinic. I''m doing volunteer work there." you say and your mother approvingly nods her head. "You''re volunteering at the clinic? I''m very proud of you. Go on, I''ll see you back at home." You wave to your mother as you walk away.'
 		act 'Go to the residential area':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_residential'
 		act 'Go to the commercial area':minut += 10 & gt 'pav_commercial'
 	elseif VKChurchNo = 1:
 		VKChurchNo += 1
-		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost1.jpg"></center>'
-		'You nod then say, "I need to get back to the clinic." I just came to pick someone up." Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> nods then says with a sad tone. "Okay, I was just hoping that you could stay for a bit, but I won''t stop you from doing gods work." You return the nod before walking away.'
+		'"I need to get back to the clinic. I just came to pick someone up." Your mother  nods understandingly, but looks a little disappointed. "Okay... I was hoping that you could stay for a bit, but I won''t stop you from doing god''s work." You return the nod before walking away.'
 		act 'Go to the residential area':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_residential'
 		act 'Go to the commercial area':minut += 10 & gt 'pav_commercial'
 	elseif VKChurchNo = 2:
 		VKChurchNo += 1
-		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost1.jpg"></center>'
-		'You give your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> a nod then say, "I would stay bu..." you mother finishes your sentence, "You need to get back to the clinic, I understand." She then waves at you while looking away.'
+		'"I would stay bu..." Your mother finishes your sentence, "You need to get back to the clinic, I understand." She then waves at you while looking away.'
 		act 'Go to the residential area':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_residential'
 		act 'Go to the commercial area':minut += 10 & gt 'pav_commercial'
 	elseif VKChurchNo = 3:
 		VKChurchNo += 1
-		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost1.jpg"></center>'
-		'You nod before your mother asks you, "Can you not stay for at least a little bit? God blesses his devout children." you lower your posture before replying, "I know he does but, I really need to go. I will see you at home." your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> sighs as she turns away and says, "I''ll see you at home."'
+		'"Can you not stay for at least a little bit? God blesses his devout children." Your mother pouts and you lower your posture before replying. "I know he does but, I really need to go. I''ll see you at home." Your mother sighs as she turns away and says "Yeah... I''ll see you at home."'
 		act 'Go to the residential area':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_residential'
 		act 'Go to the commercial area':minut += 10 & gt 'pav_commercial'
 	elseif VKChurchNo = 4:
 		VKChurchNo += 1
-		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost1.jpg"></center>'
-		'You mother firmly guides you out the door to the side of the church then angrily says, "<<$pcs_nickname>> I went to the clinic the other day to ask if you could have time off and the receptionist told me that you haven''t been working there at all. YOU HAVE BEEN LYING TO ME IN THE LORDS HOUSE OF ALL PLACES!!! If you don''t want to stay with me or pay respect to our creator then at least be honest about it. Telling lies is what sinners do when they are too afraid to face their problems."'
+		'Your mother drags you out the door to the side of the church before angrily glaring at you. "I went to the clinic the other day to ask if you could have time off and the receptionist told me that you haven''t been working there at all. YOU''VE BEEN LYING TO ME IN THE LORD''S HOUSE OF ALL PLACES!!! If you don''t want to stay with me or pay respect to our creator then at least be honest about it. Telling lies is what sinners do when they''re too afraid to face their problems."'
 		*nl
-		'You lower your head as your mother continues, "I''m going to go back in there and do my part as a child of Christ. You can go back to whatever you were planning on doing. I won''t force you to stay." She then shakes her head at you before walking back into the church. You take a few seconds to collect yourself as you feel tears rolling down your face. You never realized that you were crying. You then walk away feeling like you really screwed up.'
+		'You lower your head as your mother continues chewing you out. "I''m going to go back in there and doing my part as a child of Christ. You can go back to whatever you were planning on doing. I won''t force you to stay." She then shakes her head at you before walking back into the church. Tears roll down your face as you take a few seconds to collect yourself before walking away, feeling guilty and ashamed.'
 		act 'Go to the residential area':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_residential'
 		act 'Go to the commercial area':minut += 10 & gt 'pav_commercial'
 	elseif VKChurchNo = 5:
 		VKChurchNo += 1
-		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost1.jpg"></center>'
-		'You approach your mother and without turning to face you, she says, "What are you doing here?" You downcast your eyes before saying, "I''m sorry for lying to you I know that I have lied to you and I''m here to ask for your forgiveness." Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>''s eyebrow raises in disbelief before she replies, "Do you really mean that?" You slowly nod before continuing, "I would like to know if I can sit down and join the sermon."'
+		'You approach your mother and without turning to face you, she says "What are you doing here?" You can''t look her in the eyes as you reply and just look at the floor. "I''m sorry for lying to you <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>. I know I screwed up and I''m here to ask for your forgiveness."' 
+		'Your mother''s eyebrow raises in disbelief. "Do you really mean that?" You slowly nod before continuing. "Yes, I would like to sit down and join the sermon."'
 		*nl
-		'Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> replies, "Of course you can. Sit down and let''s listen to word of god together." She taps the seat next to her, beckoning you to sit down.'
+		'"Of course you can. Sit down and let''s listen to the word of god together." She taps the seat next to her, beckoning you to sit down.'
 		if VKChurchIntro = 0: VKChurchIntro = 1
-		act 'Sit Down':gt 'ParChurch', 'Sermon'
+		act 'Sit down':gt 'ParChurch', 'Sermon'
 	else
-		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+		'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost11.jpg"></center>'
-		'You turn to walk out of the church and see your mother sigh, as she turns back toward the front.'
+		'You turn to walk out of the church and see your mother sigh as she turns back toward the front.'
 		act 'Go to the residential area':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_residential'
 		act 'Go to the commercial area':minut += 10 & gt 'pav_commercial'
 	end
@@ -211,7 +211,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'vigil':
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/church'+ rand(1,5) +'.jpg"></center>'
 	'You attend the vigil and reflect on the recent events in your life. The harmonies as the hymns and psalms are sung sweep aside some of the worries in your heart, although you know they will return once you leave this holy place, you still enjoy the rest. The sweet scent of incense tickles your nose and reminds you of the scent of' + iif(rex_love = 1, 'Rex', 'your step-father') + '''s cologne.'
 	if fame['pav_slut'] >= 250:
-		'Most of the parishioners seem upset that you are here. You notice that parents are making sure their children don''t go near you. Even a couple of the acolytes glare at you angrily.'
+		'Most of the parishioners seem upset that you are here. You notice that parents are making sure their children don''t go near you and even a few of the acolytes glare at you angrily.'
 	elseif fame['pav_slut'] >= 200:
 		'A number of poeple give you dirty looks and intentionally turn away from you whenever you make eye contact.'
 	elseif fame['pav_slut'] >= 150:
@@ -231,7 +231,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'vigil':
 		gs 'ParChurch', 'reducepavrep', 10, -2
 
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/church'+ rand(9,10) +'.jpg"></center>'
-		'You decide to stay for the rite of mutual forgiveness and feel much better afterwards.'
+		'You decide to stay for the Rite of Mutual Forgiveness and feel much better afterwards.'
 		if $args[1] = 'mom':
 			act 'Return to Narthex': gt 'ParChurch', 'Narthex_mom'
 		else
@@ -254,24 +254,24 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'liturgy':
 		pcs_mood += 20
 		church_moral += 2
 		pcs_sleep += 5
-		'You join the congregation for the Divine Liturgy. You see mostly older people, but there are some youngsters. You participate in the singing but that is about all. Your presence seems to go largely unnoticed, but you have the chance to rest a bit. You feel a lot better.'
+		'You join the congregation for the Divine Liturgy. You see mostly older people around, but there are some people around your age present as well. You participate in the singing, but that''s about it. Your presence seems to go largely unnoticed and you have the chance to rest. You feel a lot better.'
 	elseif fame['pav_slut'] < 150 and Conf_Kirill >= 2:
 		Kirill += 1
 		pcs_mood += 20
 		church_moral += 2
 		pcs_sleep += 5
-		'You participate fully in the Divine Liturgy. You listen to the preaching and sing along. When going to communion and receiving the ceremonial bread, you lock eyes with Father Kirill. He seems happy to see you participating in the service.'
+		'You participate fully in the Divine Liturgy, listening to the preaching and singing along. When going to communion and receiving the ceremonial bread, you lock eyes with Father Kirill. He seems happy to see you participating in the service.'
 	else
 		gs 'ParChurch', 'reducepavrep', 25, -2
 
 		Kirill += 1
 		pcs_mood +=20
 		church_moral += 2
-		'Your presence at the Divine Liturgy does not go unnoticed. People start mumbling and point fingers at you. Many wonder why you''re present at such an important and holy occasion. Father Kirill, who leads the service, seems to be confused about where the fuss comes from but then notices you. You see that even he heard about your little adventures in town, but at the same time his face doesn’t seem to condemn you. It looks a bit like pity.'
+		'Your presence at the Divine Liturgy does not go unnoticed. People start mumbling and point fingers at you, with many wondering why you''re present at such an important and holy occasion. Father Kirill seems to be confused about where the fuss is coming from, but then notices you. You see that even he has heard about your little adventures around town, but at the same time his face doesn’t seem to condemn you. It looks a bit like pity.'
 		*nl
-		'"The church is place for everyone, my beloved children. Even if we sometimes forget, we must try to condemn no one. Think about John 8:10: Jesus once met a woman who had slept with a man who betrayed her trust. She was dragged away by his friends and thrown naked before Jesus. The people had ripped her clothes and humiliated her. He spoke to her: ''Woman'', he says. Not ''slut'', or ''whore'', but woman. He threw His coat over her near-naked body and gave her the sense of dignity she had been promised by the man who betrayed her trust. Jesus did not condemn her, so let us try to not condemn others."'
+		'"The church is place for everyone, my beloved children. Even if we sometimes forget, we must try to condemn no one. Think about John 8:10: Jesus once met a woman who had slept with a man who betrayed her trust. She was dragged away by his friends and thrown naked before Jesus. The people had ripped her clothes and humiliated her. He spoke to her: ''Woman'', he said. Not ''slut'', or ''whore'', but woman. He threw His coat over her near-naked body and gave her the sense of dignity she had been promised by the man who betrayed her trust. Jesus did not condemn her, so let us try to not condemn others."'
 		*nl
-		'The people in the congregation seem a bit uncomfortable while hearing these words. Some look towards you and seem to have trouble looking you in the eyes. Those that do meet your eyes look away guiltily. You feel better and it seems the townsfolk might see you in a slightly better light.'
+		'The people in the congregation seem a bit uncomfortable hearing these words. Some look towards you and seem to have trouble looking you in the eye, and those that do look away guiltily. You feel better and it seems the townsfolk might see you in a slightly better light.'
 	end
     vokal_exp += rand(0,3)
     gs 'stat'
@@ -307,7 +307,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'Narthex':
 	PLAY 'sound/church/76139__dkustic__090227-01-people-church-concert.wav',30
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/enterchurch.jpg"></center>'
 	'You enter the church and the scent of incense and beeswax fills your lungs. Your eyes are drawn past the Narthex into the Nave with its walls covered in lovingly painted icons while a thousand points of light dance in joy throughout God''s house from the magnificent chandelier that hangs from the ceiling.'
-	'To your left as you enter, there is a counter where a deacon sells candles, icons, and prayer books. He smiles and nods at you absently, acknowledging your presence without really seeing you.'
+	'To your left is a counter where a deacon sells candles, icons and prayer books. He smiles and nods at you absently, acknowledging your presence without really seeing you.'
 	act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 	if ((week <= 5 and hour >= 7 and hour < 9) or (hour >= 16 and hour < 18)) and confessday ! daystart: act 'Go to confession': confessday = daystart & gt 'ParChurch2', 'confession'
 	act 'Light a candle':gt 'ParChurch', 'candle'
@@ -326,7 +326,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'Narthex_mom':
 	PLAY 'sound/church/76139__dkustic__090227-01-people-church-concert.wav',30
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/enterchurch.jpg"></center>'
 	'You enter the church and the scent of incense and beeswax fills your lungs. Your eyes are drawn past the Narthex into the Nave with its walls covered in lovingly painted icons while a thousand points of light dance in joy throughout God''s house from the magnificent chandelier that hangs from the ceiling.'
-	'To your left as you enter, there is a counter where a deacon sells candles, icons, and prayer books. He smiles and nods at you absently, acknowledging your presence without really seeing you.'
+	'To your left as you enter is a counter where a deacon sells candles, icons and prayer books. He smiles and nods at you absently, acknowledging your presence without really seeing you.'
 	if VKChurchEvents < 2 and hour < 14:
 		if VKChurch = 0 or VKChurch = 4:
 			if VKChurch < 4 and week = 6 and hour >=19 and hour <= 22: VKChurch += 1
@@ -362,9 +362,10 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'Leave Early':
 	VKChurchEvents = 0
 	mom_church = daystart
 	*clr & cla
-	'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+	'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/prost9.jpg"></center>'
-	'You approach your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> and say, "I had a great time but I should be heading home now." Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> replies, "Alright thank you for stopping by and you learned something about yourself today." She then lightly rubs your arm before going back to praying.'
+	'You approach your mother and say "I had a great time <<$npc_nickname [''A29'']>>, but I should be heading home now."'
+	'"Alright. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you learned something about yourself today." she replies and lightly pats your arm before going back to praying.'
 	act 'Go to the residential area':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_residential'
 	act 'Go to the commercial area':minut += 10 & gt 'pav_commercial'
 end
@@ -382,23 +383,24 @@ if $ARGS[0] =  'Leave':
 	mom_church = daystart
 	VKChurchEvents = 0
 	gs'stat'
-	'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha [<<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>] <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
+	'<center><b><h4><font color=#CB00A2>"Natasha <<$pcs_lastname>>"</font></h4></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/walking.jpg"></center>'
 	if VKChurchQW = 1:
-		'As the church ceremonies ends, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> get up and collect your things before walking out of the church. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> places her hand on your shoulder then says, "Listen <<$pcs_nickname>> I''m really happy that you decided to join me today. You came here by your own choice and I''m proud of you. Now take this and get yourself some lunch." She hands you 300 <b>₽</b> then gently rubs your arm before walking away.'
+		'As the church ceremonies ends, you and your mother get up and collect your things before walking out of the church, where she places her hand on your shoulder. "Listen <<$pcs_nickname>>. I''m really happy that you decided to join me today. You came here by your own choice and I''m proud of you. Now take this and get yourself some lunch." She hands you 300 <b>₽</b> and gently pats your shoulder before walking away.'
 	elseif VKChurchQW = 2:
-		'As the church ceremonies ends, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> get up and collect your things before walking out of the church. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> places her hand on your shoulder then says, "Another enlightening Sunday. I hope that you have been learning as much as you can from our time here. Life can be hard on us sometimes but we just remember that we can always find the light at the end of the path. We just need to keep our hearts open and remain focused on our goals." She then gives your arm a rub then gives you 300 <b>₽</b> before turning to walk away.'
+		'As the church ceremonies ends, you and your mother get up and collect your things before walking out of the church, where she places her hand on your shoulder. "Another enlightening Sunday. I hope you''ve been learning as much as you can from our time here. Life can be hard on us sometimes, but we just remember that we can always find the light at the end of the path. We just need to keep our hearts open and remain focused on our goals." She then pats you on the shoulder before giving you 300 <b>₽</b> and turning to walk away.'
 	elseif VKChurchQW = 3:
-		'As you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> finish the ceremonies, you get up and collect your things before walking out of the church. You notice that you mother is a bit behind so you wait for her. You take this time to stretch out your body. Being cramped in that church was causing your back and legs to get cramped. You take a quick breath when you see your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> approach, "I have to go to the store today to pick up something. Thank you for stopping keeping me company and for being such a great Christian daughter." She then hands you 300 <b>₽</b> before turning away while waving at you.'
+		'As the church ceremonies end, you and your mother get up and collect your things before walking out of the church. You notice that your mother has fallen behind, so you wait for her and take the time to stretch your stiff back and legs. You finish stretching as you see your mother approaching. "I have to go to the store to pick up a few things. Thank you for keeping me company and for being such a good Christian girl." She then hands you 300 <b>₽</b> before turning away while waving at you.'
 	elseif VKChurchQW = 4:
-		'The lights turn on as the ceremony ends, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> get up then collect your things before walking out of the church. You walk out of the church with your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> and she asks, "How are you enjoying your time in church? I it is not exactly exciting for many your age but I hope that you find it enlightening." You reply, "I enjoyed myself and I am getting used to the ceremonies." Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> replies, "It does take some getting used too but, eventually it everything just becomes second nature. Now go on and get yourself something to eat." She then rubs your arm then hands you 300 <b>₽</b> before walking away.'
+		'As the church ceremonies end, you and your mother get up and collect your things before walking out of the church. "How are you enjoying your time in church? I know it''s not exactly exciting for someone your age, but I hope that you find it enlightening."'
+		'"I really enjoy spending time here, but I''m still getting used to the ceremonies." you reply and your mother smiles. "It does take some getting used to, but everything eventually becomes second nature. Now go on and get yourself something to eat." She gently pats you on the shoulder before handing you 300 <b>₽</b> and walking away.'
 	elseif VKChurchQW = 5:
 		money += 200
-		'You take a deep breath, as the church ceremonies ends, you then collect your belongings as your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> does the some before getting up and leaving the church. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> says to you, "How do you feel about these ceremonies? Honestly." You give her a smile and reply, "I have learned a lot since coming here and there is still more to learn. I have been enjoying learning of our lord and savior." Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> gives you a warm hug as she whispers in your ear, "I am so proud of you <<$pcs_firstname>>. Your brother and sister can learn so much from you."'
+		'You take a deep breath as the church ceremonies end. You and your mother then collect your belongings before getting up and leaving the church. "How do you feel about these ceremonies? Honestly." your mother asks and you give her a smile. "I''ve learned a lot since coming here and there''s still more to learn. I''ve been enjoying learning of our lord and savior." Your mother gives you a warm hug as she whispers in your ear. "I''m so proud of you <<$pcs_firstname>>. Your brother and sister can learn so much from you."'
 		*nl
-		'She thens squeezes slightly tighter before releasing you and placing 500 in your pocket before saying, "A small reward for my loving daughter." She then waves with a big smile on her face as she walks away.'
+		'She thens squeezes slightly tighter before releasing you and placing 500 <b>₽</b> in your pocket. "A small reward for my loving daughter." She then waves with a big smile on her face as she walks away.'
 	else
-		'As the church ceremonies ends, you and your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> get up and collect your things before walking out of the church. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> says, "I had a great time today. I always enjoy spending time with my loving daughter. Hopefully I''l see you here again next week." She then kisses your cheek then hands you 300 <b>₽</b> before walking away.'
+		'As the church ceremonies end, you and your mother get up and collect your things before walking out of the church. "I had a great time today. I always enjoy spending time with my loving daughter. Hopefully I''l see you here again next week." She then kisses your cheek and hands you 300 <b>₽</b> before walking away.'
 	end
 
 	act 'Go to the residential area':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_residential'
@@ -416,29 +418,29 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'candle':
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/ch_candle.jpg"></center>'
 	if money >= 10 and owechurch = 0:
 		money -= 10
-		'You approach the deacon selling candles and he hands you a candle in exchange for your money.'
+		'You approach the deacon and hand over the 10 <b>₽</b> for a candle.'
 	elseif money >= 10 and money < 20 and owechurch = 1:
 		owechurch = 0
 		money -= 10
 		pcs_mood -= 10
-		'You approach the deacon selling candles and hope that he doesn''t recognize you since you couldn''t pay for your last candle. You give him 10 rubles and he hands you a candle. You hustle away from the counter while guilt gnaws at you.'
+		'You approach the deacon and hope that he doesn''t recognize you since you couldn''t pay for your last candle. You give him 10 <b>₽</b> and he hands you a candle. You hustle away from the counter while guilt gnaws at you.'
 	elseif money >= 20 and owechurch = 1:
 		owechurch = 0
 		money -= 20
 		pcs_mood += 5
-		'You approach the deacon selling candles. He seems confused when you hand him 20 rubles, then he smiles in understanding. You feel relieved that the debt is paid.'
+		'You approach the deacon. He is confused when you hand him 20 <b>₽</b> before smiling in understanding. You feel relieved that the debt is paid.'
 	elseif money < 10:
 		owechurch = 1
-		'You approach the deacon selling candles and indicate you would like a candle. When you look in your purse to pay, you realize that you have no money. The deacon sighs and hands you the candle anyway. You promise yourself to pay double next time.'
+		'You approach the deacon and indicate you would like a candle, but when you look in your purse to pay, you realize that you have no money. The deacon sighs and hands you the candle anyway. You promise yourself to pay double next time.'
 	end
 	if hour > 6 and hour < 20:
 		pcs_mood += 10
 		church_moral += 1
-		'You approach the iconostasis and light your candle. It gives you a nice feeling and you say a little prayer while looking at the image of Christ the Savior.'
+		'You approach the iconostasis and light your candle. It gives you a nice feeling and you say a prayer while looking at the image of Christ the Savior.'
 	else
 		pcs_horny += 10
 		pcs_mood += 10
-		'You approach the iconostasis and light your candle in the dark church. It gives you a nice feeling and decide to say a little prayer. The darkness, combined with the pleasant sight of fire makes you feel warm inside.'
+		'You approach the iconostasis and light your candle in the dark church and start praying. The darkness, combined with the pleasant sight of fire, makes you feel warm inside.'
 	end
 
 	if $args[1] = 'mom':
@@ -468,7 +470,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pray':
 			pcs_horny -= 10
 			pcs_mood += 20
 			church_moral += 1
-			'You decide to pray for a while. You''re not overly religious but the moment of peace and quiet gives you the time to think through what you''re doing with your life.'
+			'You decide to pray for a while. You''re not overly religious, but the peace and quiet gives you the time to think.'
 		elseif hour > 6 and hour < 20 and church_moral >= 30 and church_moral < 60:
 			pcs_horny -= 20
 			pcs_mood += 30
@@ -480,37 +482,34 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pray':
 			pcs_mood += 40
 			church_moral += 1
 			minut += rand(30,60)
-			'You decide to pray. The beauty and glory of being in the body of God overwhelms you and you lose yourself in prayer. You are unsure of how much time has past when you finally become aware of your surroundings again, but it doesn''t matter as you are at peace with God and the world.'
+			'You decide to pray. The beauty and glory of being in the body of God overwhelms you and you lose yourself in prayer. You''re unsure how much time has passed when you finally become aware of your surroundings again, but it doesn''t matter as you are at peace with God and the world.'
 		elseif (hour >= 20 or hour <= 6) and church_moral < 30:
 			pcs_horny -= 40
 			pcs_mood += 50
 			church_moral += 1
 			minut += rand(30,60)
-			'The Nave is lit only with small candles, leaving your surroundings in darkness. You start to get a weird vibe, one you can''t quite shake. Suddenly you get the urge to pray very intensely. Before you know it, an hour went by and you feel a bit reborn.'
-			'"That felt refreshing," you mumble to yourself.'
+			'The Nave is lit only with small candles, leaving your surroundings in darkness. You start to get a strange vibe, one you can''t quite shake. You suddenly get the urge to pray very intensely and before you know it, an hour has passed and you feel reborn.'
 		elseif (hour >= 20 or hour <= 6) and church_moral >= 30 and church_moral < 60:
 			pcs_horny = 0
 			pcs_mood += 50
 			church_moral += 1
 			minut += rand(30,60)
 			if nark > 1: nark = nark/2
-			'The Nave is lit only with small candles, leaving your surroundings in darkness, but you find it comforting. You get the urge to pray very intensely. Before you know it, an hour went by and you feel a bit reborn and cleansed.'
-			'"That felt refreshing," you mumble to yourself.'
+			'The Nave is lit only with small candles, leaving your surroundings in darkness, but you find it comforting. You get the urge to pray very intensely and before you know it, an hour has passed and you feel cleansed.'
 		elseif (hour >= 20 or hour <= 6) and church_moral >= 60 and rand(1,100) > 90:
 			pcs_horny = 50
 			orgasm += 1
 			pcs_mood = 100
 			church_moral += 1
 			Godslut = 1
-			'The Nave is lit only with small candles, leaving your surroundings in darkness, but it''s comforting, like being in the womb of God. You get the urge to pray very intensely. You lose yourself in the presence of God and are overcome by religious ecstasy. You fight back a sob as your body trembles with an uncontrollable orgasm. You wipe the tears from your eyes and gaze with adoration at the face of Christ, your newest lover.'
+			'The Nave is lit only with small candles, leaving your surroundings in darkness, but it''s comforting, like being in the womb of God. You get the urge to pray very intensely and lose yourself in the presence of God, overcome by religious ecstasy. You fight back a sob as your body trembles with an uncontrollable orgasm. You wipe the tears from your eyes and gaze with adoration at the face of Christ, your newest lover.'
 		else
 			pcs_horny = 0
 			pcs_mood = 100
 			church_moral += 1
 			minut += 60
 			if nark > 1: nark = ((nark/4)*3)
-			'The Nave is lit only with candles and small presence lights and the darkness feels very comforting, like being in the womb. You get the urge to pray very intensely. Before you know it, more than an hour went by and you feel a bit reborn and cleansed.'
-			'"That felt refreshing," you mumble to yourself.'
+			'The Nave is lit only with candles and small presence lights and the darkness feels very comforting, like being in the womb. You get the urge to pray very intensely and before you know it, more than an hour has passed and you feel reborn and cleansed.'
 		end
 		gs 'stat'
 		if $args[1] = 'mom':
@@ -529,7 +528,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pray':
 			gs 'exhibitionism', 2
 			gs 'stat'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/ch_prayingflash.jpg"></center>'
-			'While you''re praying, you get a devious idea. With a sly smile, you expose your butt, giving anyone that looks your way the perfect view of your ass. Finally, you lower your head and pray in silence. Occasionally you can hear some whispers behind you but it only makes you smile.'
+			'While you''re praying, you get a devious idea. With a sly smile, you expose your ass, giving anyone that looks your way a naughty sight as you lower your head and pray in silence. You occasionally hear whispers behind you, causing you to smile.'
 			act 'Return to Narthex': gt 'ParChurch', 'Narthex'
 		end
 	end
@@ -543,11 +542,11 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'talk_priest':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/ch_talk.jpg"></center>'
 	'As you approach the priest, you recall your previous behavior, your sins, your transgressions, and the daily temptations you face.'
-	'Going up to the priest, you bow down, touching the floor with your right hand then place your right hand over the left with your palms upward and say, "Bless me father."'
-	'"May the Lord bless you," the priest answers and blesses you with the Sign of the Cross then places his right hand in your hands.'
-	'You kiss his hand and then straighten taking a deep breath.'
+	'Going up to the priest, you bow down and touch the floor with your right hand before placing it over your left hand with your palms upward and say "Bless me, Father."'
+	'"May the Lord bless you," the priest answers and blesses you with the Sign of the Cross before placing his right hand in your hands.'
+	'You kiss his hand and then straighten up, taking a deep breath.'
 	if Churchbad > 0 and amends_day ! daystart:
-		act 'Make Amends':
+		act 'Make amends':
 			*clr & cla
 			gs 'stat'
 			church_moral += 1
@@ -555,7 +554,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'talk_priest':
 			Churchbad -= 1
 			amends_day = daystart
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/ch_talk.jpg"></center>'
-			'"Father, I want to tell you how sorry I am for the way I acted the last time I was here," you apologize, hoping he can hear the sincerity in your voice. "It was inexcusable."'
+			'"Father, I want to apologize for the way I acted the last time I was here," you say, hoping he can hear the sincerity in your voice. "It was inexcusable."'
 			'"Your behavior was indeed... ill-fitting of a young lady," the priest replies gravely. "However, God asks us to forgive... If you truly wish to make amends, there is something you could do."'
 			'"Of course, father," you reply, eager for forgiveness.'
 			act 'What do you need me to do':
@@ -564,8 +563,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'talk_priest':
 				if Churchbad <= 2:
 					*clr & cla
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/supplycloset.jpg"></center>'
-					'The priest leads you back to the Narthex and opens a door on the side opposite the counter where you buy candles. Inside you see cleaning supplies.'
-					'Taking out a broom, the priest smiles at you, "The Narthex and the Sanctuary could use a good sweeping and mopping," he says.'
+					'The priest leads you back to the Narthex and opens a door on the side opposite of the counter where you buy candles. Inside you see cleaning supplies.'
+					'Taking out a broom, the priest smiles at you. "The Narthex and the Sanctuary could use a good sweeping and mopping," he says.'
 					act 'Start cleaning':
 						*clr & cla
 						minut += 60
@@ -573,9 +572,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'talk_priest':
 						church_moral += 1
 						gs 'stat'
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/churchclean.jpg"></center>'
-						'You take the broom and begin your task, thankful that the church isn''t a very large one. You diligently sweep the floor, making sure to get into all the corners. Once the sweeping is done, you mop the floor then put everything away. You feel a sense of wellbeing at a job well done.'
+						'You take the broom and begin your task, thankful that the church isn''t a very large one. You diligently sweep the floor, making sure to get into all the corners. Once the sweeping is done, you mop the floor and then put everything away. You feel a sense of satisfaction and wellbeing at a job well done.'
 						'As you close the closet door, you turn around to find the priest looking at you with a pleased expression.'
-						'"Thank you, <<$pcs_nickname>>. You did a fine job." he says. Surprisingly, you feel a flush of pleasure at the praise. You finished putting things away and leave.'
+						'"Thank you, <<$pcs_firstname>>. You did a fine job." he says. Surprisingly, you feel a flush of pleasure at the praise. You finish putting things away and leave.'
 						act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 					end
 					act 'Tell him you''re not a maid':
@@ -586,14 +585,14 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'talk_priest':
 						church_moral -= 2
 						gs 'stat'
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/pc/reactions/bukli_angry.jpg"></center>'
-						'"As if," you state flatly, looking at the priest coldly, "You''re the one that took an oath to work for God, not me. I''m out of here."'
-						'The priest looks as if he was going to say something then changed his mind. He shakes his head sadly as you walk away.'
+						'"As if!" you state flatly, looking at the priest coldly. "You''re the one that took an oath to work for God, not me. I''m out of here."'
+						'The priest looks as if he is going to say something before changing his mind. He shakes his head in disappointment as you walk away.'
 						act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 					end
 				else
 					cla
 					'The priest leads you to a bench in the Narthex and has you sit down with him.'
-					'"I feel that you have lost your way, <<$pcs_nickname>>," he begins softly. "Such behavior can only lead to a life of misery and sin."'
+					'"I feel that you have lost your way <<$pcs_firstname>>," he begins softly. "Such behavior can only lead to a life of misery and sin."'
 					'"I know father," you reply with a sigh. "But I just can''t seem to help it sometimes."'
 					act 'Tease him': gt 'ParChurch', 'tease'
 				end
@@ -617,13 +616,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'talk_priest':
 			Kirill += rand(0,2)
 			minut += 30
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/ch_talk.jpg"></center>'
-			'You are enjoying your discussion with him and turn to talking about Pavlovsk and about how so many people seem obsessed with sex, especially the boys. He agrees with you that people seem overly lustful around this area. Soon you are discussing about how society has brought on these loser morals in people.'
-			'You see an old woman you know vaguely from the apartment block next to yours. She seems anxious to talk to the priest.'
+			'You''re thoroughly enjoying your discussion with him and turn to talking about Pavlovsk and how so many residents seem obsessed with sex, especially the boys. He agrees with you that people seem overly lustful around this area, and you soon start discussing how society has brought about these looser morals in people.'
+			'You see an old woman you vaguely remember as living in the apartment block opposite your own. She seems anxious to talk to the priest.'
 			if Kirill > 60:
-				'"It looks like Mrs. Seldipi needs to regal me with the latest of her neighbors'' multitude of sins," the priest confides with a wry smile, "We can continue our discussion another day."'
+				'"It looks like Mrs. Seldipi needs to regal me with the latest of her neighbors'' multitude of sins," the priest confides with a wry smile. "We can continue our discussion another day."'
 				act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 			else
-				'"I am sorry, <<$pcs_nickname>>. It seems that I am needed by Mrs. Seldipi," he says with obvious regret. "I''ve enjoyed our chat. Please think on what we''ve discussed and we will talk another time."'
+				'"I''m sorry <<$pcs_firstname>>. It seems that I''m needed by Mrs. Seldipi," he says with obvious regret. "I''ve enjoyed our chat. Please think on what we''ve discussed and we''ll talk another time."'
 				act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 			end
 		end
@@ -632,7 +631,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'talk_priest':
 	act 'Chicken out':
 		*clr & cla
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/enterchurch.jpg"></center>'
-		'You could not bring yourself to talk to the priest yet. You were torn between stalling or simply leaving.'
+		'You cannot bring yourself to talk to the priest yet. You are torn between stalling or simply leaving.'
 		act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 		act 'Stay in the Narthex': gt 'ParChurch', 'Narthex'
 	end
@@ -649,9 +648,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'tease':
 		Kirill += 1
 		Kirill_Crpt += 1
 		pcs_horny += 5
-		'You look the priest right in the eyes then when his attention is on you, you slowly lean forward, allowing your breasts to be exposed. To your delight, you see his eyes dart to your tits and stay there.'
+		'You look the priest right in the eyes when his attention is on you, slowly leaning forward and allowing your breasts to be exposed. To your delight, you see his eyes dart to your breasts and stay there.'
 		if kirillsex ! 0:
-			'"Very nice, <<$pcs_nickname>>." Father Kirill whispers as he reaches out and caresses your firm breasts before pulling your top back into place, covering you once again. "Follow me."'
+			'"Very nice, <<$pcs_firstname>>." Father Kirill whispers as he reaches out and caresses your breasts before pulling your top back into place, covering you once again. "Follow me."'
 			act 'Follow him': gt 'ParChurch2', 'sex'
 			gs 'willpower', 'sex', 'resist'
 			if will_cost <= pcs_willpwr:
@@ -664,27 +663,26 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'tease':
 				act 'Leave the church (<br><font color="red"><<will_cost>> Willpower</font>)': '<br><font color="red">You don''t have enough willpower to use this action.</font>'
 			end
 		else
-			'"Very nice, <<$pcs_nickname>>." Father Kirill whispers with a smile as he reaches out and softly caresses your breasts before pulling your top back into place, covering you up once again.'
-			'"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it," he murmurs as he fastens your buttons then sighs.'
-			'"Thus it is written, and thus it behooved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day," you reply looking at the telltale lump in Father Kirill''s crotch, "It seems that Jesus is not the only one to rise from the dead," you added with a playful giggle.'
-			'Father Kirill looks at you and opens his mouth to speak but no words come out.'
-			'With a laugh, you jump up and skip out of the church with a final glance back at the dumbfounded cleric.'
+			'"Very nice, <<$pcs_firstname>>." Father Kirill whispers with a smile as he reaches out and softly caresses your breasts before pulling your top back into place, covering you up once again.'
+			'"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it," he murmurs as he fastens your buttons and sighs.'
+			'"Thus it is written, and thus it behooved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day," you reply looking at the telltale lump in Father Kirill''s crotch, "It seems that Jesus is not the only one to rise from the dead," you add with a playful giggle.'
+			'Father Kirill looks at you and opens his mouth to speak but no words come out. With a laugh, you jump up and skip out of the church with a final glance back at the dumbfounded cleric.'
 			act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 		end
 	else
 		Kirill -= 2
-		'You look the priest right in the eyes then when his attention is on you, you slowly lean forward, allowing your breasts to be exposed. To your delight, you see his eyes dart to your tits then snap back up to your face. His face flushes red.'
+		'You look the priest right in the eyes when his attention is on you, slowly leaning forward and allowing your breasts to be exposed. To your delight, you see his eyes dart to your breasts then snap back up to your face. His face flushes red.'
 		if Churchbad >= 5:
-			'"You whore!" The priest roars in fury, "I''ll teach you what happens to those who desecrate the House of God!"'
-			'Stunned by his unexpected fury, you are unable to react before the furious priest grabs you by the arm and drags you to his office.'
+			'"You whore!" he roars in fury. "I''ll teach you what happens to those who desecrate the House of God!"'
+			'Stunned by his unexpected fury, you are unable to react before the furious priest grabs you by the arm and drags you into his office.'
 			act 'Continue': gt 'ParChurch', 'spank'
 		elseif Churchbad <= 4 and Kirill <= 20:
-			'"<<$pcs_firstname>> <<$pcs_lastname>>!" the priest hisses, his face twisted in rage, "How dare you behave like this in the House of God! Get out now!"'
+			'"<<$pcs_firstname>> <<$pcs_lastname>>!" the priest hisses, his face twisted in rage. "How dare you behave like this in the House of God! Get out now!"'
 			'Stunned by his unexpected fury, you hastily cover yourself up and flee from the church.'
 			act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 		else
-			'"<<$pcs_firstname>> <<$pcs_lastname>>!" the priest hisses, his face flushed with embarrassment, "How could you behave like this in the House of God! Cover yourself up."'
-			'Although it isn''t the reaction you were expecting, it is a reaction. Looking up at the priest, you can tell that his embarrassment is changing to anger. You decide that it might be best if you left.'
+			'"<<$pcs_firstname>> <<$pcs_lastname>>!" the priest hisses, his face flushed with embarrassment. "How could you behave like this in the House of God! Cover yourself up, now!"'
+			'Although it isn''t the reaction you were expecting, it is a reaction. Looking up at the priest, you can tell that his embarrassment is changing to anger. You decide that it might be best if you leave.'
 			act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 		end
 	end
@@ -695,14 +693,14 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'spank':
 	Kirill_Crpt += 1
 	Churchbad -= 1
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/event/spank1.jpg"></center>'
-	'Once in his office, he drags you over to in front of his desk before he lets go. "Bend over and expose your behind, you obviously need to be disciplined more to be such a sinful girl." You look at him, you know he would never force you, so why should you obey? He seems to read your thoughts as he adds. "Or I can call your mother and explain to her why her daughter is excommunicated from the church."'
-	'You pale slightly at that, you don''t know what your mother would do but it would be a lot worse than getting spanked by a priest. So you do as he says and expose your but as  you bend over his desk. While you do this he grabs a shoe from behind his desk, apparently he keeps a spare set of shoes in his office.'
+	'Once in his office, he drags you over to his desk. "Bend over and expose your bottom. You obviously need to be disciplined more, else you wouldn''t be such a sinful girl!" You stare straight at him. You know he would never force you, so why should you obey? He seems to read your thoughts as he adds "Or I can call your mother and explain to her why her daughter is excommunicated from the church."'
+	'You pale slightly. You don''t know what your mother would do, but it would be a lot worse than getting spanked by a priest, so you do as he says and expose your ass before bending over his desk. He then grabs a shoe from inside his desk.'
 	gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 3, 'exhibitionism'
 	gs 'stat'
 	act 'bear it':
 		*clr & cla
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/event/spank2.jpg"></center>'
-		'He uses the sole of his hard shoe to spank you across your ass cheeks. You can tell he isn''t putting much strength into it, it stings a little but you have had far worse. After a few minutes of this he stops and leans forward and asks. "Have you learned your lesson?"'
+		'You yelp as he spanks your ass with the sole of the shoe. He isn''t putting much strength into it - it stings, but you''ve had far worse. After a few minutes of this, he stops and leans forward. "Have you learned your lesson?"'
 		gs 'pain', 1, 'asscheeks', 'spank'
 		gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5, 'unknown'
 		gs 'stat'
@@ -710,8 +708,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'spank':
 			*clr & cla
 			Churchbad -= 1
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/event/spank5.jpg"></center>'
-			'You nod your head. "Yes, I''m sorry father. I don''t know what came over me. Please forgive me."'
-			'He relaxes a bit and sighs. "I forgive you, I am sorry I had to do that. But sometimes stern measures are needed."'
+			'Your ass is stinging as you nod your head. "Yes, I''m sorry father. I don''t know what came over me. Please forgive me."'
+			'He relaxes and sighs. "I forgive you. I''m sorry I had to do that, but sometimes stern measures are needed."'
 			'You cover yourself back up and walk out.'
 			gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 1, 'unknown'
 			gs 'arousal', 'end'
@@ -721,8 +719,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'spank':
 		act 'Not yet':
 			*clr & cla
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/event/spank3.jpg"></center>'
-			'You shake your head no. "No, I don''t think I have, not when you hit like a girl." You tell him.'
-			'You see his eyes flare in anger and he starts spanking you again. This time he puts a lot of force into the blows and the hard shoe sole is really starting to make your ass sting. After a few minutes of this he stops and leans forward and asks. "Now have you learned your lesson?"'
+			'You and shake shake your head. "No, not when you hit like a girl." you say teasingly.'
+			'You see his eyes flare in anger and he starts spanking you again. This time he puts a lot of force into the blows and your ass is really starting to sting. After a few minutes of this, he stops and leans forward and asks again. "Have you learned your lesson yet?"'
 			gs 'pain', 2, 'asscheeks', 'spank'
 			gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5, 'maso'
 			gs 'stat'
@@ -731,29 +729,29 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'spank':
 				Churchbad -= 1
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/event/spank5.jpg"></center>'
 				'You nod your head. "Yes, I''m sorry father. I have seen the errors of my way. Please forgive me."'
-				'He relaxes a bit and sighs. "I forgive you. I am sorry I had to do that and I am sorry it took you so long to learn your lesson. But sometimes stern measures are needed."'
-				'You cover yourself back up and walk out a bit gingerly with your ass stinging.'
+				'He relaxes and sighs. "I forgive you. I''m sorry I had to do that and I''m sorry it took you so long to learn your lesson, but sometimes stern measures are needed."'
+				'You cover yourself back up and walk out a bit gingerly as you rub your stinging ass.'
 				gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 1, 'unknown'
 				gs 'arousal', 'end'
 				gs 'stat'
 				act 'Leave the church': gt 'ParChurch' , 'start'
 			end
-			act 'More, Father, more!':
+			act 'More!':
 				*clr & cla
 				Kirill_Crpt += 1
 				Churchbad += 1
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/event/spank3.jpg"></center>'
-				'You cry out. "Yes father more, spank me harder please!" While sticking your butt out a bit more.'
-				'You see his eyes widen slightly and his cheeks blush a bit. Again he puts puts a lot of force into the blows, the hard shoe sole is starting to make your ass feel like it is on fire. You can''t help it as a few tears roll down your cheeks. After a few minutes of this he stops and leans forward and asks. "Now have you learned your lesson?"'
+				'"Yes, yes! Spank me harder! Please!" you cry out while sticking your ass out more.'
+				'You see his eyes widen and his cheeks blushing. He again puts a lot more force into his blows and your ass is soon bright red and stinging as tears start rolling down your cheeks. After a few more minutes of this, he stops and leans forward again. "Now have you learned your lesson?"'
 				gs 'pain', 2, 'asscheeks', 'spank'
 				gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5, 'maso'
 				gs 'stat'
 				act 'Yes':
 					*clr & cla
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/event/spank5.jpg"></center>'
-					'You nod your head and sniffle a bit. "Yes, I''m sorry father. The pain has purified me of my wickedness. Please forgive me."'
-					'He relaxes a bit and sighs. "I forgive you. I am sorry I had to do that and but I don''t believe you are over your wicked ways. I would like you to start coming to church on a regular bases and I would like you to take confession."'
-					'You cover yourself back up. "I will father, I promise." With your ass stinging like it is on fire you walk out rather stiffly.'
+					'You nod your head and sniffle. "Yes, I''m sorry father. The pain has purified me of my wickedness. Please forgive me."'
+					'He relaxes and sighs. "I forgive you. I''m sorry I had to do that, but I don''t believe you are over your wicked ways. I would like you to start attending church on a regular basis and coming to confession."'
+					'You cover yourself back up. "I will father, I promise." You walk out rather stiffly, barely able to stand as your ass pulses in sharp stinging pain.'
 					gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 1, 'unknown'
 					gs 'arousal', 'end'
 					gs 'stat'
@@ -763,9 +761,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'spank':
 					*clr & cla
 					Churchbad += 1
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/church/event/spank5.jpg"></center>'
-					'You shake your head and try not to sniffle. "No Father, you will need to do more than that to beat the wickedness out of me!"'
-					'He sighs and drops the shoe on the desk. "I believe you. I will pray for you and pray for guidance on how to help you. For now you may go but I would like you to start coming to church on a regular bases and I would like you to take confession."'
-					'You cover yourself back up and smirk at him. "We''ll see." With your ass stinging like it is on fire you walk out rather stiffly, but maybe you will come back, it might be fun...'
+					'You shake your head and try not to sniffle. "You''ll need to do more than that to beat the wickedness out of me!"'
+					'He sighs and drops the shoe on the desk. "I believe you. I will pray for you and pray for guidance on how to help you. You may go, but I would like you to start attending church on a regular bases and coming to confession."'
+					'You cover yourself back up and smirk at him. "We''ll see..." You walk out rather stiffly, barely able to stand as your ass pulses in sharp stinging pain. Despite this, you feel a little aroused by what happened.'
 					gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 1, 'unknown'
 					gs 'arousal', 'end'
 					gs 'stat'
@@ -804,7 +802,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'fillers':
 	elseif randtext = 4:
 		$safesub = 'your sister'
 	elseif randtext = 5:
-		$safesub = 'your childhood friend Shulga'
+		$safesub = 'your childhood friend Vasily'
 	elseif randtext = 6:
 		$safesub = 'trying to earn money'
 	elseif randtext = 7:

locations/anushkachat.qsrc

@@ -496,18 +496,18 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photo_chat':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><h4><font color="maroon">Anushka''s Room</font></h4></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/bedroom/bedroomtalk.jpg"></center>'
-	'You climb off the bed for a moment and grab your camera out of your purse. "Hey do you mind if I take your photo, for my portfolio?" You ask her.'
-	'She grins and lays back stretching in a suggestive way. "So you want me to model for you?"'
-	'You can''t help but grin a bit at her antics. "Yes, will you model or me? I need the practice and I think you would make a great model."'
-	'She giggles a bit. "Sure, but only if you send me copies for my modelling portfolio."'
+	'You climb off the bed and grab your camera out of your purse. "Hey, do you mind if I take your photo, for my portfolio?" you ask.'
+	'She grins and lies back, stretching in a suggestive way. "You want me to model for you?"'
+	'You can''t help but grin at her antics. "Yes, will you model or me? I need the practice and I think you would make a great model."'
+	'She giggles. "Sure, but only if you send me copies for my modelling portfolio."'
 	if nush_model >= 1:
 		'You nod. "Deal."'
 	else
 		nush_model = 1
 		'You do a bit of a double take. "Wait what? Your modelling portfolio?"'
-		'She giggles at your reaction. "Yeah I model at the Aphrodite Photography Agency, in the city."'
-		'You are a little surprised, not that she models. She is one of the pretty girls in school and she loves to show off her body, but that you hadn''t heard about it yet. "Oh, uh yeah sure I can do that."'
-		act 'Take out camera':
+		'She giggles at your reaction. "Yeah, I model at the Aphrodite Photography Agency, in the city."'
+		'You are a little surprised, not that she models, but that you hadn''t heard about it yet. "Oh, uh yeah sure I can do that."'
+		act 'Take out your camera':
 			cla & *clr
 			nush_photoshoot >= 1
 			gs 'stat'
@@ -515,20 +515,20 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photo_chat':
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/bedroom/bedroomtalk.jpg"></center>'
 			if sunWeather = 1:
 				'You pull out your camera, but before you can take her picture, she interrupts you. "What now?"'
-				'You look up at her a bit confused. "Uh yeah, why?"'
-				'She shakes her head. "This really isn''t the best place, outside with natural light would be better, since we don''t have any studio lighting."'
-				'You pause a moment, maybe she has a point, you do want to take the best photo''s possible and she does model, so likely she knows a thing or two about it. "Oh... yeah ok, that makes sense." You glance at the time and notice it is still light out. "Well lets go then while we still have light."'
-				'She giggles a bit. "Alright, lets do this." The two of you get up and follow her, she leads you out of her room, and out of her apartment.'
-				act 'Go do photoshoot': gt 'anushkachat', 'photoshoot'
+				'You look up at her, confused. "Uh yeah, why?"'
+				'She shakes her head. "This really isn''t the best place. Outside with natural light would be better, since we don''t have any studio lighting."'
+				'You pause. She has a point and does model, so she would know a thing or two about it. "Oh... Yeah okay, that makes sense." You glance at the time and notice it''s still light out. "Well let''s go while we still have light."'
+				'She giggles. "Alright, let''s do this." You get up and follow her as she leads you out of her room and out of the apartment.'
+				act 'Do photoshoot': gt 'anushkachat', 'photoshoot'
 			else
 				'You pull out your camera, but before you can take her picture, she interrupts you. "What now?"'
-				'You look up at her a bit confused. "Uh yeah, why?"'
-				'She shakes her head. "This really isn''t the best place, outside with natural light would be better, since we don''t have any studio lighting."'
-				'You pause a moment, maybe she has a point, you do want to take the best photo''s possible and she does model, so likely she knows a thing or two about it. "Oh... yeah ok, that makes sense." You glance at the time and notice it is to late.'
-				'She smiles to you. "Don''t worry, just come over one day when it is still light out and we can do it then."'
-				'You nod and put your camera back away. "Ok sounds good."'
-				act 'Thanks, stop talking': gt 'anushapt', 'anushroom'
-				act 'Thanks, keep talking': gt 'anushkachat', 'chat'
+				'You look up at her, confused. "Uh yeah, why?"'
+				'She shakes her head. "This really isn''t the best place. Outside with natural light would be better, since we don''t have any studio lighting."'
+				'You pause. She has a point and does model, so she would know a thing or two about it. "Oh... Yeah okay, that makes sense." You glance at the time and notice that it''s too late.'
+				'She smiles at you. "Don''t worry. Just come over one day when it''s still light out and we can do it then."'
+				'You nod and put your camera away. "Ok sounds good."'
+				act 'Stop talking': gt 'anushapt', 'anushroom'
+				act 'Keep talking': gt 'anushkachat', 'chat'
 			end
 		end
 	end
@@ -903,19 +903,19 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photoshoot':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big144.jpg"></center>'
 	if nush_photoshoot = 1:
-		'You shake your head when you realize you can''t think of a good place to go take a photo of her. "I don''t know what I was thinking, I can''t think of a good location to do a photoshoot to do, can you?"'
-		'She thinks a moment then grins. "Actually yeah, this building has a fire escape, we can use it. Fairly private and undisturbed."'	
-		'You grin at that. "That sounds great, lead on." She giggles and leads you down the hall to the window, opening it, you both crawl outside on the fire escape.'
+		'You shake your head when you realize you can''t think of a good place to take a photo of her. "I don''t know what I was thinking! I can''t think of a good location, can you?"'
+		'She thinks for a moment before grinning. "Yeah, this building has a fire escape we can use. Fairly private and undisturbed."'	
+		'You grin back. "That sounds great, lead on." She giggles and leads you down the hall to the window. She opens it and you both crawl outside onto the fire escape.'
 		act 'Start photoshoot': gt 'anushkachat', 'photoshoot1'
 	else
-		'You shake your head when you realize you can''t think of a good place to go take a photo of her. "I don''t know what I was thinking, I can''t think of a good location to do a photoshoot to do, can you?"'
-		'She thinks a moment then shrugs. "No not really."'	
+		'You shake your head when you realize you can''t think of a good place to take a photo of her. "I don''t know what I was thinking! I can''t think of a good location, can you?"'
+		'She thinks for a moment before shrugging. "No, not really."'	
 		act 'Go back to her room': 
 			*clr & cla
 			minut +=5
 			gs 'stat'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big144.jpg"></center>'
-			'You laugh at the situation a bit, you was all excited to take more photo''s but didn''t come up with a idea for what kind of photo''s you want to take. "Lets forget about this for now and just go back to your room."'
+			'You laugh at the situation. You were excited to take some photos, but didn''t come up with any ideas on what kind of photos you actually wanted to take. "Let''s forget about this for now and go back to your room."'
 			'She shrugs. "Ok."'
 			act 'Back': gt 'anushapt','anushroom'
 		end
@@ -923,10 +923,10 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photoshoot':
 			*clr & cla
 			gs 'stat'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big144.jpg"></center>'
-			'You laugh at the situation a bit, you was all excited to take more photo''s but didn''t come up with a idea for what kind of photo''s you want to take. "Lets forget about this for now. I should probably get going anyways, obviously I am not thinking clearly."'
-			'She raises a shapely brow at you. "Ooook.... you sure you''re ok?"'
-			'You laugh at her response and nod. "Yeah, just tired I guess and not really thinking things through, see you later?"'
-			'She nods. "Sure see you later." You exchange hugs and then you leave and you suppose she goes back home.'
+			'You laugh at the situation. You were excited to take photos, but didn''t come up with any ideas on what kind of photos you actually wanted to take. "Let''s forget about this for now. I should probably get going anyway, I''m not thinking clearly right now."'
+			'She raises a shapely brow at you. "Ooookay.... You sure you''re okay?"'
+			'You laugh at her response and nod. "Yeah, I''m just tired and not really thinking things through. See you later?"'
+			'She nods. "Sure, see you later." You exchange hugs and before you leave.'
 			act 'Leave': gt 'pav_complex','start'
 		end
 	end
@@ -939,13 +939,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photoshoot1':
 	photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/nush_model/sveta_photographer/set1/pose1.jpg"></center>'
-	'Once out on the fire escape, Anushka is wearing a short white skirt, black tank top and a pair of old tennis shoes. You find a spot on the other side of the landing and pull your camera out of your purse and starting snapping photo''s of her standing on the fire escape landing.'
+	'Once out on the fire escape, you find a spot on the other side of the landing and pull your camera out. You start snapping photos of her standing on the fire escape landing.'
 	act 'Spice this up':
 		*clr & cla
 		photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/nush_model/sveta_photographer/set1/pose2.jpg"></center>'
-		'You want more and you know she loves showing off. "Come on famous model, lets do a more risque shoot." Anushka reaches up under her short white skirt and pulls her panties off and tosses them right at you, just manage to dodge them. You snap a few more photo''s, she leans forward a bit, making her short skirt ride up. At this angle you can just see her pussy a little and you keep snapping some photos.'
+		'You want more and you know she loves showing off. "Come on famous model, let''s do something a little more risque!" Anushka reaches up under her skirt, pulls her panties off and tosses them at you. You snap a few more photos as she leans forward, making her skirt ride up. At this angle you can just see her pussy, but keep shooting.'
 		gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 		gs 'stat'
 		act 'Keep taking photos':
@@ -953,19 +953,19 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photoshoot1':
 			photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 			gs 'stat'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/nush_model/sveta_photographer/set1/pose3.jpg"></center>'
-			'Next she turns sideways towards you and squats down, with her legs slightly apart. Yet at this angle you can''t see anything, other than her teasing smile. "Ok now turn towards me." You tell her.'
+			'She turns sideways towards you and squats down, with her legs slightly apart. At this angle you can''t see anything other than her teasing smile. "Okay, now turn towards me." you tell her.'
 			act 'She turns':
 				*clr & cla
 				photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 				gs 'stat'
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/nush_model/sveta_photographer/set1/pose4.jpg"></center>'
-				'She moves close to the wall and turns to face you, she squats down again but uses her hands to hold into her skirt and pulls it down between her legs. You snap a few more photos and shake your head, you know she is just teasing you on purpose now. Normally she loves flaunting her body, but now that you are trying to do a serious photo shoot, she acts all shy. "Ha ha, Nush. Come on girl show me the goods, you know you want too."'
-				act 'Show them titties':
+				'She moves close to the wall and turns to face you before squatting down again and pulling her skirt down between her legs. You snap a few more photos and shake your head at her teasing. Normally she loves flaunting her body, but now that you''re trying to do a serious photoshoot, she''s acting shy. "Ha ha, Nush. Come on, show me the goods girl. You know you want to..."'
+				act 'Keep taking photos':
 					*clr & cla
 					photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 					gs 'stat'
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/nush_model/sveta_photographer/set1/pose5.jpg"></center>'
-					'She leans forward and pulls her tank top down and to the sides, exposing her perfectly round, firm young tits off. "Thats it, work the camera for me Nush." You both hear a wolf whistle from somewhere below, you both ignore it. Though it means someone noticed.'
+					'She leans forward and pulls her tank top down and to the sides, exposing her perfectly round and firm tits. "That''s it, work the camera for me Nush!" You both hear a wolf whistle from somewhere below, but you both ignore it.'
 					gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 					gs 'stat'
 					act 'Working the camera':
@@ -973,7 +973,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photoshoot1':
 						photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 						gs 'stat'
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/nush_model/sveta_photographer/set1/pose6.jpg"></center>'
-						'She puts her tank top back in place, but then spreads her legs wide, giving a full few of her pussy. After some suggestions on poses she moves to the outside corner of the fire escape giving you a better view of Pavlovsk behind her as you keep taking her photos. "That''s it girl, give the camera some love."'
+						'She puts her tank top back in place and spreads her legs wide, giving you a full few of her pussy. After some suggestions on poses, she moves to the outside corner of the fire escape to give you a better view of Pavlovsk behind her as you keep taking photos. "That''s it girl, give the camera some love."'
 						gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 						gs 'stat'
 						act 'Move again':
@@ -981,7 +981,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photoshoot1':
 							photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 							gs 'stat'
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/nush_model/sveta_photographer/set1/pose7.jpg"></center>'
-							'Following your instructions to move again, she moves back next to the building for a few shoots and teases and pulling on her tank top, just shy of showing off her nipples to go along with that shinny bald pussy. "Ok back to the other side I want to get the town in the background." There is a catcall now from below, hard to say if it is the same person as before or not.'
+							'Following your instructions to move again, she moves back next to the building for a few shoots and teases you by pulling on her tank top, just shy of showing off her nipples. "Okay, back to the other side. I want to get the town in the background." There''s a catcall from below, but you''re unsure if it''s the same person from before.'
 							gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 							gs 'stat'
 							act 'Moving back':
@@ -989,15 +989,15 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photoshoot1':
 								photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 								gs 'stat'
 								'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/nush_model/sveta_photographer/set1/pose8.jpg"></center>'
-								'Moving back, she squats again. Spreading her legs wide to give a perfect view of her shaved pussy, after a couple of more photos she pulls her tank top down again, exposing her firm breasts. "Nice, nice. But how about you lose the top." You tell her as you keep taking photos.'
+								'Moving back, she squats again and spreads her legs wide to give you a perfect view of her shaved pussy. After you take a few more photos, she pulls her tank top down again. "Nice, nice. But how about you lose the top?" you tell her as you keep taking photos.'
 								gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 								gs 'stat'
-								act 'Loosing the shirt':
+								act 'Losing the shirt':
 									*clr & cla
 									photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 									gs 'stat'
 									'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/anushka/nush_model/sveta_photographer/set1/pose9.jpg"></center>'
-									'She pulls off her tank top and tosses it at you, this time it ends up covering your camera and face for a moment. You pull her tank top off you and toss it aside, then you see her sitting with her back against the rail, on the outter corner of the fire escape. Legs spread wide showing off her pussy complete and her firm tits fully exposed. Only her tennis shoes and the white skirt bunched up around her waist covers anything. "That''s it." You tell her and take several more photos. There is a few hoots and lewd comments, you are fairly sure it is Dan and Vasily.'
+									'She pulls off her tank top and tosses it at you. It lands on and covers your camera and face. You pull it off and toss it aside to find her sitting with her back against the rail, on the outer corner of the fire escape. Her legs are spread wide, showing off her pussy and breasts. Only her tennis shoes and skirt bunched up around her waist remain. "That''s it," you tell her and take several more photos. There are a few hoots and lewd comments directed at you and you''re fairly certain that it''s Dan and Vasily.'
 									gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 									gs 'stat'
 									act 'Final photos':
@@ -1006,14 +1006,14 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photoshoot1':
 										portfolio_people[5] = 1
 										gs 'stat'
 										'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/pc/activities/photography/foto/people/5.jpg"></center>'
-										'She sits in a variety of poses, some fully exposed and others mostly hiding everything while still essentially completely naked. Then finally you think you have it, she is sitting on the outside of the fire escape, knees together, ankles crossed. Her arms wrapped around her knees, her nudity almost completely covered by her own body. Yet she looks so happy and alive, with a bustling Pavlovsk behind her. Yes you think you have the perfect image for your portfolio.'
+										'She sits in a variety of poses, some fully exposed and others not before you finally you think you have it. She''s sitting on the outside of the fire escape, her knees together and ankles crossed with her arms wrapped around her knees, her nudity almost completely covered by her own body. Yet she looks so happy and alive, with a bustling Pavlovsk behind her. It''s the perfect image for your portfolio.'
 										*nl
-										'With that image taken you lower the camera. "Thank you Nush, that was amazing. You was right this was a perfect idea, the natural light and Pavlovsk in the background. You can get dressed."'
-										'She gets up and pulls her skirt back down, "My pleasure, I love modeling almost as much as I love my music." which elicits more yells from below to take it all off. Yep that was Vasily for sure. You both finally glance down now that you are done and sure enough it is Vitek, Dan, and Vasily leaning against a wall, drinking beers and staring up at you guys.'
+										'With the image taken, you lower the camera. "Thanks Nush, that was amazing. You were right, this was a perfect idea, the natural light and Pavlovsk in the background. You can get dressed."'
+										'She gets up and pulls her skirt back down. "My pleasure, I love modeling almost as much as I love my music." This elicits more yells from below to take it all off. You both glance down and see Vitek, Dan and Vasily leaning against a wall, drinking beers and staring up at you.'
 										*nl
-										'Anushka leans over the railing, giving the boys a even better view of her tits and flips them off with both hands. "Take a good long look boys, so you can go home and jerk off to your memory." Then she grabs her own crotch. "Because thats as close as you are ever going to get to this." Which elicits the boys to yell back crude comments, which only makes her laugh.'
-										'As you put your camera away, she gets dressed again, both of you ignore the boys. "Lets get out of here." You tell her.'
-										'She smiles to you and sticks her hand over the railing once last time to flip the boys off, before both of you climb back in the window. "So we going back to my place?"'
+										'Anushka leans over the railing, giving the boys an even better view of her tits as she flips them off with both hands. "Take a good long look boys, so you can go home and jerk off to the memory," she teases before grabbing her crotch. "Because that''s as close as you''re ever going to get to this!" Her remark causes the boys to yell back with crude comments, which only makes her laugh.'
+										'You put your camera away and she gets dressed as you ignore the boys. "Let''s get out of here," you tell her.'
+										'She smiles at you and sticks her hand over the railing one last time to flip the boys off before you climb back in the window. "So we going back to my place?"'
 										gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 										gs 'arousal', 'end'
 										gs 'stat'
@@ -1022,16 +1022,16 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'photoshoot1':
 											minut +=5
 											gs 'stat'
 											'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big144.jpg"></center>'
-											'You nod. "Sure sounds good." The two of you walk back to her apartment talking about the photo shoot and laughing at the boys.'
+											'You nod. "Sure, sounds good." The two of you walk back to her apartment talking about the photo shoot and laughing at the boys.'
 											act 'Back': gt 'anushapt','anushroom'
 										end
 										act 'I should go':
 											*clr & cla
 											gs 'stat'
 											'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big144.jpg"></center>'
-											'You shake your head no. "No, I should really get going, plus I need to go through these and pick out the perfect picture, which won''t be easy, with my amazing model."'
-											'She laughs at that and hip checks you as you walk down the halls to the stairs. "Alright bitch, I''ll see you later."'
-											'"Later." You tell her, as she heads to her apartment and you head out of her building.'
+											'You shake your head. "No, I should really get going. I need to go through these and pick out the perfect picture, which won''t be easy with my amazing model."'
+											'She laughs and bumps you with her hip as you walk down the hall to the stairs. "Alright bitch, I''ll see you later."'
+											'"Later." you reply as she heads into her apartment and you head out of the building.'
 											act 'Leave': gt 'pav_complex','start'
 										end
 									end