Vengeance11 2 years ago
parent
commit
0b12a98d2a
1 changed files with 82 additions and 74 deletions
  1. 82 74
      locations/pav_disco.qsrc

+ 82 - 74
locations/pav_disco.qsrc

@@ -115,92 +115,92 @@ if $ARGS[0] = '':
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/dance.jpg"></center>'
 					if $pantyworntype = 'none' and PCloSkirt > 2:
 						gs 'inhibition', 1
-						'You look around and smile, as no one know you are not wearing any panties. You feel a thrilling sensation rush through your body as you think about it.'
+						'You look around and smile, as no one knows you''re not wearing any panties. You feel a thrilling sensation rush through your body as you think about it.'
 					end
 					if pcs_danc <= 30:
 						grupvalue[1] -= 1
 						grupvalue[2] -= 2
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around horribly, you move your body around making it look like you are having some sort of attack, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. Your horribly awkward attempt at dancing makes it look like you''re having a seizure, but you don''t care. You''re not paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
 					elseif pcs_danc <= 60:
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around moving your body, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. You barely pay attention to anyone else as you move around on the dance floor.'
 					elseif pcs_dancero <= 40:
 						grupvalue[1] += 1
 						grupvalue[2] += 1
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. You move your body around in a erotic manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. You move your body around in an erotic manner to the beat of the music.'
 					else
 						grupvalue[1] += 2
 						grupvalue[2] += 2
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. You move your body around expertly in a seductive manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. You expertly move your body around in a seductive manner to the beat of the music.'
 					end
 				elseif alko = 1:
 					'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/tipsy_dance.jpg"></center>'
 					if $pantyworntype = 'none' and PCloSkirt > 2:
 						gs 'inhibition', 1
-						'You look around and smile, as no one know you are not wearing any panties. You feel a thrilling sensation rush through your body as you think about it.'
+						'You look around and smile, as no one knows you''re not wearing any panties. You feel a thrilling sensation rush through your body as you think about it.'
 					end
 					if pcs_danc <= 30:
 						grupvalue[1] -= 1
 						grupvalue[2] -= 2
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around horribly, being buzzed doesn''t help but you are just a bad dancer. You move your body around making it look like you are having some sort of attack, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor, even though you''re a terrible dancer and being buzzed doesn''t help. Your awkward movements look more like a seizure than dancing, but you don''t care. You''re not paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
 					elseif pcs_danc <= 60:
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around moving your body, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. You barely pay attention to anyone else as you move around on the dance floor, feeling a little buzzed.'
 					elseif pcs_dancero <= 40:
 						grupvalue[1] += 1
 						grupvalue[2] += 1
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. Despite this you dance pretty well for how buzzed you are, as you move your body around in a erotic manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor and are dancing pretty well despite how buzzed you are. You move your body around in an erotic manner to the beat of the music.'
 					else
 						grupvalue[1] += 2
 						grupvalue[2] += 2
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. By how well you are dancing most people would have a hard time knowing you was buzzed, you move your body around expertly in a seductive manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. Most people would have a hard time telling you were buzzed as you expertly move your body around in a seductive manner to the beat of the music.'
 					end
 				elseif alko < 4:
 					'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/tipsy_dance.jpg"></center>'
 					if $pantyworntype = 'none' and PCloSkirt > 2:
 						gs 'inhibition', 1
-						'You look around and smile, as no one know you are not wearing any panties. You feel a thrilling sensation rush through your body as you think about it.'
+						'You look around and smile, as no one knows you''re not wearing any panties. You feel a thrilling sensation rush through your body as you think about it.'
 					end
 					if pcs_danc <= 30:
 						grupvalue[1] -= 1
 						grupvalue[2] -= 2
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around horribly, being tipsy doesn''t help but you are just a bad dancer. You move your body around making it look like you are having some sort of attack, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor, even though you''re a terrible dancer and being tipsy doesn''t help. Your awkward movements look more like a seizure than dancing, but you don''t care. You''re not paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
 					elseif pcs_danc <= 60:
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around moving your body, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. You barely pay attention to anyone else as you move around on the dance floor, feeling a little tipsy.'
 					elseif pcs_dancero <= 40:
 						grupvalue[1] += 1
 						grupvalue[2] += 1
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. Despite this you dance pretty well for how tipsy you are, as you move your body around in a erotic manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor and are dancing pretty well despite how tipsy you are. You move your body around in an erotic manner to the beat of the music.'
 					else
 						grupvalue[1] += 2
 						grupvalue[2] += 2
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. By how well you are dancing most people would have a hard time knowing you was tipsy, you move your body around expertly in a seductive manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. Most people would have a hard time telling you were tipsy as you expertly move your body in a seductive manner to the beat of the music.'
 					end
 				elseif alko < 6:
 					'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/drunk_dance.jpg"></center>'
 					if $pantyworntype = 'none' and PCloSkirt > 2:
 						gs 'inhibition', 1
-						'You look around and smile, as no one know you are not wearing any panties. You feel a thrilling sensation rush through your body as you think about it.'
+						'You look around and smile, as no one knows you''re not wearing any panties. You feel a thrilling sensation rush through your body as you think about it.'
 					end
 					if pcs_danc <= 30:
 						grupvalue[1] -= 3
 						grupvalue[2] -= 3
 						grupvalue[4] += 1
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around horribly, being drunk doesn''t help but you are just a bad dancer. You move your body around making it look like you are having some sort of attack, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor, even though you''re a terrible dancer and being drunk doesn''t help. Your awkward movements look more like a seizure than dancing, but you don''t care. You''re not paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
 					elseif pcs_danc <= 60:
 						grupvalue[1] -= 2
 						grupvalue[2] -= 2
 						grupvalue[4] += 1
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around moving your body, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. You barely pay attention to anyone else as you move around on the dance floor, feeling rather drunk.'
 					elseif pcs_dancero <= 40:
 						grupvalue[1] -= 1
 						grupvalue[2] -= 1
 						grupvalue[4] += 1
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. Despite this you dance pretty well for how drunk you are, as you move your body around in a erotic manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor and are dancing pretty well despite how drunk you are. You move your body around in an erotic manner to the beat of the music'
 					else
 						grupvalue[4] += 1
-						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. By how well you are dancing most people would have a hard time knowing you was drunk, you move your body around expertly in a seductive manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor. Most people would have a hard time telling you were drunk as you expertly move your body in a seductive manner to the beat of the music.'
 					end
 !!can you check I did this correct and all the other similar ones? 
 					if StoryLine = 1 and meynoldQW >= 2 and rand(1,10) = 1: 
@@ -220,22 +220,22 @@ if $ARGS[0] = '':
 							grupvalue[1] -= 6
 							grupvalue[2] -= 6
 							grupvalue[4] += 2
-							'You''re very drunk and you forget that you don''t have any panties on. As you dance around horribly, being very drunk doesn''t help but you are just a bad dancer. You move your body around making it look like you are having some sort of attack, your skirt rides up, exposing your pussy to the observant people on the dance floor with you.'
+							'You''re very drunk and forget that you don''t have any panties on. As you awkwardly attempt to dance, you''re too drunk to notice your skirt riding up, exposing your pussy to the observant people on the dance floor with you.'
 						elseif pcs_danc <= 60:
 							grupvalue[1] -= 5
 							grupvalue[2] -= 5
 							grupvalue[4] += 2
-							'You''re very drunk and you forget that you don''t have any panties on. As you dance around moving your body, your skirt rides up, exposing your pussy to the observant people on the dance floor with you.'
+							'You''re very drunk and forget that you don''t have any panties on. As you drunkenly dance around, your skirt rides up, exposing your pussy to the observant people on the dance floor with you.'
 						elseif pcs_dancero <= 40:
 							grupvalue[1] -= 4
 							grupvalue[2] -= 4
 							grupvalue[4] += 2
-							'You''re very drunk and you forget that you don''t have any panties on. Despite this you dance pretty well for how drunk you are, as you move your body around in a erotic manner, your skirt rides up, exposing your pussy to the observant people on the dance floor with you.'
+							'You''re very drunk and forget that you don''t have any panties on. You dance pretty well for how drunk you are, but are too drunk to notice your skirt riding up, exposing your pussy to the observant people on the dance floor with you.'
 						else
 							grupvalue[1] -= 3
 							grupvalue[2] -= 3
 							grupvalue[4] += 2
-							'You''re very drunk and you forget that you don''t have any panties on. By how well you are dancing most people would have a hard time knowing you was very drunk, you move your body around expertly in a seductive manner, but you are to drunk to notice as your skirt rides up, exposing your pussy to the observant people on the dance floor with you.'
+							'You''re very drunk and forget that you don''t have any panties on. Most people would have a hard time knowing you were very drunk as you expertly move your body around in a seductive manner, but you are too drunk to notice your skirt riding up, exposing your pussy to the observant people on the dance floor with you.'
 						end
 						if StoryLine = 1 and meynoldQW >= 2 and rand(1,5) = 1: 
 							gt 'pav_disco', 'katja_too_drunk'
@@ -248,23 +248,23 @@ if $ARGS[0] = '':
 						*clr & cla
 						'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/very_drunk_dance.jpg"></center>'
-						'You''re very drunk, but you''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. You''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+						'You''re very drunk, but are having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyway. You''re not paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
 						if pcs_danc <= 30:
 							grupvalue[1] -= 4
 							grupvalue[2] -= 4
-							'You''re very drunk, but you''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around horribly, being drunk doesn''t help but you are just a bad dancer. You move your body around making it look like you are having some sort of attack, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+							'You''re very drunk, but are having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyway. You''re a terrible dancer, and being drunk doesn''t help. Your awkward movements look more like a seizure than dancing, but you don''t care. You''re not paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
 						elseif pcs_danc <= 60:
 							grupvalue[1] -= 3
 							grupvalue[2] -= 3
-							'You''re very drunk, but you''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. As you dance around moving your body, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+							'You''re very drunk, but are having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyway. As you dance around, you barely pay attention to anyone else.'
 						elseif pcs_dancero <= 40:
 							grupvalue[1] -= 2
 							grupvalue[2] -= 2
-							'You''re very drunk, but you''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. Despite this you dance pretty well for how drunk you are, as you move your body around in a erotic manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+							'You''re very drunk, but are having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyway. You dance pretty well for how drunk you are, and move your body around in an erotic manner to the beat of the music.'
 						else
 							grupvalue[1] -= 1
 							grupvalue[2] -= 1
-							'You''re very drunk, but you''re having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyways. By how well you are dancing most people would have a hard time knowing you was drunk, you move your body around expertly in a seductive manner, you''re not even paying attention to anyone else or even the music.'
+							'You''re very drunk, but are having a lot of fun out on the dance floor anyway. Most people would have a hard time knowing you were drunk as you expertly move your body around in a seductive manner to the beat of the music.'
 						end
 						if StoryLine = 1 and meynoldQW >= 2 and rand(1,5) = 1: 
 							gt 'pav_disco', 'katja_too_drunk'
@@ -279,7 +279,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = '':
 					grupvalue[2] -= 5
 					grupvalue[4] -= 1
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/wasted_dance.jpg"></center>'
-					'You''re too drunk to try and dance. You are barely able to stay on your feet and are mostly just drunkenly bumping into other people as you try and dance.'
+					'You''re far too drunk and are barely able to stay on your feet. You''re mostly just drunkenly bumping into other people as you try and dance.'
 					if StoryLine = 1 and meynoldQW >= 2 and rand(1,3) = 1: 
 						gt 'pav_disco', 'katja_too_drunk'
 					elseif npc_rel['A25'] >= 50 and rand(1,5) = 1:
@@ -318,7 +318,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = '':
 				pcs_mood -= 40
 				gs 'stat'
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/event/cumface1.jpg"></center>'
-				'While standing by the wall, a guy notices cum on your clothes and he points and shouts. "This chick is covered in cum! Did you forget to swallow slut?" he says mockingly while laughing. Your cheeks blush with shame and you head for the exit.'
+				'While standing by the wall, a guy notices the cum on your clothes and points and shouts. "Look, this chick is covered in cum! Did you forget to swallow slut?" he says mockingly while laughing. Your cheeks blush with shame and you head for the exit.'
 				act 'Leave': gt 'pav_commcenter'
 				exit
 			end
@@ -379,7 +379,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = '':
 	elseif hour < 20:
 		'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/closing.jpg"></center>'
-		'The club closes. The main lights go on, the music fades and everyone begins to leave.'
+		'The club is closing for the night. The main lights go on, the music fades and everyone begins to leave.'
 		act 'Go outside': gt 'pav_commcenter'
 	end
 end
@@ -395,18 +395,20 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'kotov_love':
 		fightboyrand = rand(0, 10)
 
 		if fightboyrand <= 5:
-			'The frightened man begins to speak. "Come on, I didn''t know. I''m leaving." Vitek pushes the guy. "Get out of here and don''t come back."'
+			'The frightened man begins to speak. "Come on, I didn''t know. I''m leaving."' 
+			'Vitek pushes the guy. "Get out of here and don''t come back."'
 		elseif fightboyrand > 5 and fightboyrand < 10:
 			'The guy shoves Vitek back. "Get your hands off me asshole!" Vitek suddenly kicks the guy with a fast and powerful blow.'
 			'The guy falls to the floor in pain and Vitek steps over him. Grabbing him by his shirt, he yanks him off the floor and slams him into the wall.'
-			'"Well motherfucker? You think you can take what''s mine? How about I take what''s yours?" The guy curls up in pain and frighteningly replies. "You can have anything, anything I got!"'
+			'"Well motherfucker? You think you can take what''s mine? How about I take what''s yours?" The frightened guy curls up in pain. "You can have anything, anything I''ve got!"'
 		elseif fightboyrand >= 10:
 			'The guy punches Vitek in the face. Vitek recoils from the hit and lands a powerful kick of his own. They then start fighting, fists and kicks landing from both sides. Finally, a very powerful hit by Vitek sends the guy flying into the wall, where he slumps to the floor. Vitek runs to him and starts punching him in the face. The guy stops resisting, apparently having lost consciousness.'
 		end
 	elseif DPgrup = 2:
-		'The guy has a smug look on his face as he calls over his friends, who all come over to crowd around Vitek. "Real tough guy huh?" Vitek''s friends come over to back him up. After a bit of tough talk and a bit of shoving, the two groups break apart peacefully, going their own ways.'
+		'The guy has a smug look on his face as he calls over his friends, who all come over to crowd around Vitek. "Real tough guy huh?" Vitek''s friends come over to back him up. After a bit of tough talk and shoving, the two groups break apart peacefully, going their own ways.'
 	elseif DPgrup = 3:
-		'The guy throws up his hands. "Sorry man, I didn''t know she was with you." Vitek pushes the guy. "Go back to the city and stay there."'
+		'The guy throws up his hands. "Sorry man, I didn''t know she was with you."' 
+		'Vitek pushes the guy. "Go back to the city and stay there."'
 	end
 	act 'Go to Vitek':numnpc = 9 & gt 'Snpc'
 	exit
@@ -437,7 +439,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'reverse_reakt_dance':
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/club_dance1.jpg"></center>'
 	if alko < 3:
 		pcs_mood += 20
-		'You enjoy dancing with him a great deal.'
+		'You enjoy dancing with him.'
 		if pcs_inhib < 40: inhib_exp += rand(1,2)
 		gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5
 		gs 'arousal', 'end'
@@ -464,13 +466,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dance_vrp':
 		if DPtipe = 1:
 			'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/club_dance3.jpg"></center>'
-			'The guy is dancing with you, holding your waist with his hands.'
+			'The guy dances with you, holding your waist with his hands.'
 			gs 'pav_disco', 'reverse_reakt_dance'
 		elseif DPtipe = 2:
 			*clr
 			'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/club_dance2.jpg"></center>'
-			'The drunk guy pushes into you, grinding his body up against yours. You feel your soft breasts literally flatten against the man''s chest.'
+			'The drunk guy pushes into you, grinding his body up against yours. You feel your breasts literally flatten against the man''s chest.'
 			gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5
 			gs 'stat'
 			gs 'pav_disco', 'reakt_dance'
@@ -540,41 +542,45 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dance_vrp':
 			$boydesc = $npc_nickname[$npclastcalled]
 			if rand(1,2) = 1:
 				if DPtipe = 1:
-					'The guy told you during the dance "My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s your name?" You answered "<<$pcs_nickname>>." Once the song ends, the guy asks you to sit with him and chat.'
+					'"My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s yours?" the guy asks.' 
+					'"<<$pcs_firstname>>, but people call me <<$pcs_nickname>>." you reply. Once the song ends, the guy asks you to sit with him and chat.'
 				elseif DPtipe = 2:
-					'The guy told you during the dance "My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s your name?" You answered "<<$pcs_nickname>>." During the whole dance the drunk guy humped your body and now his face flushed with excitement. He asks you to leave the club and go get some fresh air, socialize, outside.'
+					'"My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s yours?" the guy asks.' 
+					'"<<$pcs_firstname>>, but people call me <<$pcs_nickname>>." you reply. The drunk guy humped you throughout the dance and now his face is flushed with excitement. He asks you to leave with him to get some fresh air and talk outside.'
 				end
 
 				act 'Go with the guy': gt 'gdksex', 'outside', 'nice'
 			else
 				if DPtipe = 1:
-					'The guy told you during the dance "My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s your name?" You answered "<<$pcs_nickname>>." Once the song ends, the guy asks if you want to go outside with him.'
+					'"My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s yours?" the guy asks.' 
+					'"<<$pcs_firstname>>, but people call me <<$pcs_nickname>>." you reply. Once the song ends, the guy asks if you want to go outside with him.'
 				elseif DPtipe = 2:
-					'The guy told you during the dance "My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s your name?" You answered "<<$pcs_nickname>>." During the whole dance the drunk guy humped your body and now his face flushed with excitement. He asks you to leave the club and go get some fresh air, socialize, outside.'
+					'"My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s yours?" the guy asks.' 
+					'"<<$pcs_firstname>>, but people call me <<$pcs_nickname>>." you reply. The drunk guy humped you throughout the dance and now his face is flushed with excitement. He asks you to leave with him and to get some fresh air and talk outside.'
 				end
 				act 'Go with the guy': gt'pav_disco','hookup_nice'
 			end
 		elseif DPgrup = 2:
 			if rand(1,2) = 1:
 				if DPtipe = 1:
-					'For the entire dance the guy was grabbing your ass, breasts and kissing you, he was clearly excited. When you would press up against him, you could feel something hard in his pants. Finally the song ended and the guy offers to take you outside for a drink.'
+					'The guy constantly grabs your ass, breasts and tries kissing you, clearly feeling rather excited. Every time you press up against him, you feel something hard in his pants. The song then finally ends and the guy offers to take you outside for a drink.'
 					gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5
 					gs 'stat'
 					act 'Go outside': gt 'gdksex', 'outside', 'aggressiv'
 				elseif DPtipe = 2:
-					'For the entire dance the guy was grabbing your ass, breasts and kissing you, he was clearly excited. When you would press up against him, you could feel something hard in his pants. Finally the song ended and the guy offers to take you outside for a drink.'
+					'The guy constantly grabs your ass, breasts and tries kissing you, clearly feeling rather excited. Evry time you press up against him, you feel something hard in his pants. The song then finally ends and the guy offers to take you outside for a drink.'
 					gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5
 					gs 'stat'
 					act 'Go outside': gt 'gdksex', 'outside', 'aggressiv'
 				end
 			else
 				if DPtipe = 1:
-					'For the entire dance the guy was grabbing your ass, breasts and kissing you, he was clearly excited. When you would press up against him, you could feel something hard in his pants. Finally the song ended and the guy asks if you want to go outside and get some fresh air?'
+					'The guy constantly grabs your ass, breasts and tries kissing you, clearly feeling rather excited. Every time you press up against him, you feel something hard in his pants. The song then finally ends and the guy asks if you want to go outside and get some fresh air.'
 					gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5
 					gs 'stat'
 					act 'Go with him': gt'pav_disco','hookup_aggressive'
 				elseif DPtipe = 2:
-					'For the entire dance the guy was grabbing your ass, breasts and kissing you, he was clearly excited. When you would press up against him, you could feel something hard in his pants. Finally the song ended and the guy asks if you want to go outside and get some fresh air?'
+					'The guy constantly grabs your ass, breasts and tries kissing you, clearly feeling rather excited. Every time you press up against him, you feel something hard in his pants. The song then finally ends and the guy asks if you want to go outside and get some fresh air.'
 					gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5
 					gs 'stat'
 					act 'Go with him': gt'pav_disco','hookup_aggressive'
@@ -582,14 +588,15 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dance_vrp':
 			end
 		elseif DPgrup = 3:
 			if DPtipe = 1:
-				'The man dances with confidence and elegance. When the song ends, he offers to go out for some fresh air and talk.'
+				'The man dances with confidence and elegance. When the song ends, he offers to take you outside for some fresh air.'
 				act 'Go with the man':
 					*clr & cla
 					gs 'stat'
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/outside_talk.jpg"></center>'
 					$npc_usedname[$npclastcalled] = $npc_nickname[$npclastcalled]
 					$boydesc = $npc_nickname[$npclastcalled]
-					'You go outside with the man. As you walk, he put his arm around your waist. "My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s your name?" he asks. "<<$pcs_nickname>>." you answer and the man continues. "<<$pcs_nickname>>, I''m in town on a business trip and I''m staying at a nearby hotel. There is virtually nothing to do in this town you know. Come back to my hotel with me and we can drink some whiskey while we sit and have a nice chat."'
+					'You go outside with the man. As you walk, he put his arm around your waist. "My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s yours?" he asks.' 
+					'"<<$pcs_firstname>>, but people call me <<$pcs_nickname>>." you answer and the man continues. "That''s a nice name. I''m in town on a business trip and I''m staying at a nearby hotel. There''s virtually nothing to do in this town, so why don''t you come back to my hotel with me? We can drink some whiskey and chat."'
 					if alko < 6 or pcs_horny <= 75 or pav_slut <= 50:
 						gs 'willpower', 'drink', 'resist'
 						if will_cost <= pcs_willpwr:
@@ -609,7 +616,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dance_vrp':
 			elseif DPtipe = 2:
 				$npc_usedname[$npclastcalled] = $npc_nickname[$npclastcalled]
 				$boydesc = $npc_nickname[$npclastcalled]
-				'The drunk man molests you for the entire dance. When the dance ends, he whispers in your ear. "My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s your name?" You answer feeling somewhat disgusted. "<<$pcs_nickname>>." The man continues. "<<$pcs_nickname>>, I''m not a local. I''m staying in a nearby hotel, so let''s take a taxi and go to my room."'
+				'The drunk man molests you for the entire dance and when the dance finally ends, he whispers in your ear. "My name is <<$boydesc>>. What''s yours?"' 
+				'"<<$pcs_firstname>>, but people call me <<$pcs_nickname>>." you answer, feeling somewhat disgusted.'
+				'"<<$pcs_nickname>>, I''m not a local. I''m staying in a nearby hotel, so let''s take a taxi and go to my room." he drunkenly stutters.'
 				gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5
 				gs 'stat'
 				act 'Go to the hotel': gt 'gdksex', 'hotel'
@@ -717,7 +726,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'katja_too_drunk':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/school_kids/katja_help.jpg"></center>'
-	'Katja approaches you. "<<$pcs_nickname>>, are you drunk? Let''s get you home, I''ll help you."'
+	'Katja approaches you. "<<$pcs_nickname>>, are you drunk!? Let''s get you home, I''ll help you."'
 	act 'Go with Katja': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'katja_walkhome'
 end
 
@@ -727,7 +736,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'sonia_too_drunk':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big25.jpg"></center>'
-	'Sonia approaches you and smiles. "<<$pcs_nickname>>, your pretty drunk. Let''s get you home, I''ll walk with you."'
+	'Sonia approaches you and smiles. "<<$pcs_nickname>>, you''re pretty drunk. Let''s get you home, I''ll walk with you."'
 	act 'Go with Sonia': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'sonia_walkhome'
 end
 
@@ -737,7 +746,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'anushka_too_drunk':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big144.jpg"></center>'
-	'Anushka approaches you and pokes you in the side, which causes you to jerk away. Which in turn causes you to stumble, nearly falling, but Anushka catches you by the arm to help steady you. "Well you have partied pretty hard tonight, havn''t you <<$pcs_nickname>>? Maybe you even over did it a little huh. Let''s get you home, before some guy tries to take advantage of you."'
+	'Anushka approaches and pokes you, which causes you to jerk away. This causes you to stumble and nearly fall, but Anushka catches you by the arm to help steady you. "Someone''s partied pretty hard tonight, haven''t they? Maybe a little too hard. Let''s get you home before someone tries to take advantage of you."'
 	act 'Go with Anushka': gt 'pav_disco_gopniks', 'anushka_walkhome'
 end
 
@@ -747,12 +756,12 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'hookup_aggressive':
 	gs 'npcpreservec', $npclastgenerated
 	'<center><img src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/outside_talk.jpg"></center>'
 	'"Hey, let''s go back to my place and fuck!"'
-	act 'Sorry no thanks':
+	act 'No thanks':
 		cla & *clr
 		'<center><img src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/outside_talk.jpg"></center>'
-		'"No thanks, I''m not interested in having a one night stand tonight."'
-		'"Huh?!" <<$boydesc>> looks at you with anger on his face. "After the way you were dancing with me and you''re not gonna give it up?"'
-		'He makes a show of your rejection, hissing at you and spits on the ground, narrowly missing your shoes before stalking off. You roll your eyes waiting until he''s a bit of a distance away before leaving yourself.'
+		'"No thanks, I''m not interested in having a one night stand." you reply.'
+		'"Huh?!" <<$boydesc>> looks at you with anger on his face. "After the way you were dancing with me, you''re not gonna give it up?"'
+		'He makes a show of your rejection, hissing at you and spitting on the ground, narrowly missing your shoes before storming off. You roll your eyes and wait until he''s gone before leaving yourself.'
 		gs 'arousal', 'end'
 		act 'Leave':gt $loc, $metka
 		act 'Return to the dance':gt 'pav_disco'
@@ -761,9 +770,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'hookup_aggressive':
 	act 'Fuck off':
 		cla & *clr
 		'<center><img src="images/pc/reactions/fuckoff3.jpg"></center>'
-		'"No thanks, I''m not interested in having a one night stand tonight."'
-		'"Huh?!" <<$boydesc>> looks at you with anger on his face. "After the way you were dancing with me and you''re not gonna give it up?"'
-		'He makes a show of your rejection, hissing at you and spits on the ground, narrowly missing your shoes before stalking off. You roll your eyes waiting until he''s a bit of a distance away before leaving yourself.'
+		'"You have no chance with me, so why don''t you just fuck off?" you say with a sting.'
+		'"Huh?!" <<$boydesc>> looks at you with anger on his face. "After the way you were dancing with me, you''re not gonna give it up?"'
+		'He makes a show of your rejection, hissing at you and spitting on the ground, narrowly missing your shoes before storming off. You roll your eyes and wait until he''s gone before leaving yourself.'
 		gs 'arousal', 'end'
 		act 'Leave':gt $loc, $metka
 		act 'Return to the dance':gt 'pav_disco'
@@ -772,19 +781,19 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'hookup_aggressive':
 	act 'That sounds nice':
 		cla & *clr
 		'<center><img src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/outside_kiss.jpg"></center>'
-		'"That sounds nice," you say, smiling at him.'
-		'He leans in and starts kissing you, when he finally breaks the kiss he says. "Great!" He grabs you by the arm to start towing you towards a nearby apartment complex, whispering obscenities in your ear along the way.'
+		'"That sounds nice," you say with a smile.'
+		'He leans in and gives you a quick, yet passionate kiss. "Great!" He grabs you by the arm and starts pulling you towards a nearby apartment complex, whispering obscenities in your ear along the way.'
 		gs 'arousal', 'kiss', 5
 		gs 'arousal', 'end'
 		gs 'stat'
 		act 'Go to his place':gt 'hookup', 'start'
 	end
 	
-	act 'Fuck yeah':
+	act 'That sounds great':
 		cla & *clr
 		'<center><img src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/outside_kiss.jpg"></center>'
-		'"Fuck yeah," you say back to him'
-		'He leans in and starts kissing you, when he finally breaks the kiss he says. "I knew I liked you," Grabbing you by the arm and towing you towards a nearby apartment complex.'
+		'"Fuck yeah, that sounds awesome." you say back to him.'
+		'He leans in and gives you a quick, yet passionate kiss. "I knew I liked you." He grabs you by the arm and starts pulling you towards a nearby apartment complex.'
 		gs 'arousal', 'kiss', 5
 		gs 'arousal', 'end'
 		gs 'stat'
@@ -801,8 +810,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'hookup_nice':
 		cla & *clr
 		'<center><img src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/outside_talk.jpg"></center>'
 		'"Oh, uhh, I uhh... I don''t know if I''m really up for that. Sorry..."'
-		'"Oh, sure. That''s okay. You don''t have to be sorry."'
-		'<<$npc_firstname[$npclastsaved]>> disappointingly looks at you, "Well at least I gave it my best shot who knows maybe I''ll see you here again."'
+		'"Oh, sure. That''s okay. You don''t have to be sorry." <<$npc_firstname[$npclastsaved]>> says with a hint of disappointment. "Well at least I gave it my best shot. Who knows, maybe I''ll see you here again."'
 		act 'Leave':gt $loc, $metka
 		act 'Return to the dance':gt 'pav_disco'
 	end
@@ -810,23 +818,23 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'hookup_nice':
 	act 'No thanks':
 		cla & *clr
 		'<center><img src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/outside_talk.jpg"></center>'
-		'"No thanks, I''m not interested."'
-		'"Oh, sure. That''s okay. Uhh, sorry I asked."'
+		'"No thanks, I''m not interested." you reply'
+		'"Oh, sure. That''s okay. Uhh, sorry I asked." he says with a slight hint of disappointment.'
 		'You shrug and walk away.'
 		act 'Leave':gt $loc, $metka
 		act 'Return to the dance':gt 'pav_disco'
 	end
 	
-	act 'Wanna fuck?':
+	act 'Want to fuck?':
 		cla & *clr
 		gs 'fame', 'pav', 'sex', 1
 		'<center><img src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/outside_kiss.jpg"></center>'
 		'"... fuck?" you ask.'
-		'He looks confused and dumb founded by your words. "Uhh..."'
+		'He looks dumb founded by your words. "Uhh..."'
 		'"Fuck," you repeat. "Wanna go back to your place and fuck? We can skip the drinks too."'
-		'<<$npc_firstname[$npclastsaved]>> seems stunned by your straightforwardness but eventually answers, "Yes!"'
-		'You lean in and kiss him passionately, he returns the kiss just as enthusiastically after a moment. Once you break the kiss you say. "Great! Lead the way!"'
-		'The two of you hurry through the streets together to a nearby apartment complex.'
+		'<<$npc_firstname[$npclastsaved]>> seems stunned by your straightforwardness, but eventually answers, "Yes!"'
+		'You lean in to kiss him passionately, and he returns the kiss just as enthusiastically.'
+		'"Great! Lead the way!" you say with a smile after breaking the kiss. The two of you hurry through the streets together to a nearby apartment complex.'
 		gs 'arousal', 'kiss', 5
 		gs 'arousal', 'end'
 		gs 'stat'