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[changed] grammatical fixes

hornguy6 vor 3 Jahren
Ursprung
Commit
9483f4d5a9
1 geänderte Dateien mit 21 neuen und 18 gelöschten Zeilen
  1. 21 18
      locations/anushkamaksim.qsrc

+ 21 - 18
locations/anushkamaksim.qsrc

@@ -14,8 +14,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'maksim_blackmail':
 		gs 'fame', 'pav', 'sex', 1
 		inhib_exp += rand(1,3)
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/anushapt/hallflashtits.jpg"></center>'
-		'You sigh, you should have expected this. You pull your clothes aside and show him your bare breasts. His grin manages to get even wider and he just stares at your tits, a couple of minutes passes and you are about to say something when he reaches out with one hand. You pull your shirt down quickly. "You said show you."'
-		'He sneers for a moment. "Fine." But then he smiles again. "Come with me."'
+		'You sigh, you should have expected this. You pull your clothes aside and show him your bare breasts. His grin manages to get even wider and he just stares at your tits, a couple of minutes passes and you are about to say something when he reaches out with one hand. You pull your shirt down quickly.'
+		'"You said show you."'
+		'"Fine," he sneers for a moment before then he smiling again. "Come with me."'
 		gs 'arousal', 'flashlite', 5, 'humiliation', 'sub'
 		gs 'arousal', 'end'
 		gs 'stat'
@@ -27,13 +28,14 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'maksim_blackmail':
 			'You follow him, he leads you down the stairs and outside to the local playground, once there he walks over to a few other boys about his age and finally stops. A couple of the other boys check you out and one asks him. "Who''s that?"'
 			'He has his back to your as he responds. You can only image the smug look on his face as he says. "She does things for me."'
 			'One of the boys snorts a laugh. "Sure she does."'
-			'Then he turns towards you and says. "Go buy me a pack of smokes."'
-			'"What?" You ask him, he wants you to buy him things.'
-			'He gives you a stern look but it just shows how young he is, not intimidating at all. "I said go buy me a pack of cigarettes."'
-			'You just sigh, this is going to be a pain. You are going to have to figure a way out of this, but for now you play along. "Fine." With that you turn and start walking to the nearest Kiosk.'
+			'Then he turns towards you and saying, "Go buy me a pack of smokes."'
+			'"What?!"'
+			'"I said go buy me a pack of cigarettes." He gives you a stern look but it just shows how young he is, not intimidating at all.'
+			'You just sigh, this is going to be a pain. You are going to have to figure a way out of this, but for now you play along.'
+			'"Fine."'
+			'With that you turn and start walking to the nearest Kiosk.'
 			'As you walk off you hear the boys talking, all of them seem amazed and surprised you are doing what Maksim tells you to do, while he just acts all smug.'
 			if money >= 150:
-
 				act 'Go buy the pack':
 					*clr & cla
 					money -= 150
@@ -58,13 +60,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'maksim_blackmail':
 							gs 'fame', 'pav', 'sex', 2
 							inhib_exp += rand(1,3)
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/maksim/flashtits1.jpg"></center>'
-							'You sigh and then pull aside your clothes and flash them your tits. One of them says. "Holy shit she did it." They all look surprised but Maksim who just looks smug.'
-							'"See I told you guys." One of them starts to reach for your bare breasts. You start to move but Maksim says something first. "Hey no touching." Then he grabs his hand and pulls it away. You are surprised and a bit relieved he did that.'
+							'You sigh and then pull aside your clothes and flash them your tits.'
+							'"Holy shit! She really did it!" They all look surprised but Maksim who just looks smug.'
+							'"See? I told you guys." One of them starts to reach for your bare breasts. You start to move but Maksim stops him, grabbing his hand and pulling it away. "Hey no touching." You are surprised and a bit relieved he did that.'
 							'"Why not?" His friend asks.'
 							*nl
-							'"I am still breaking her in and it will be when I say." He says and gives all his friends a look to show he is in charge here. Then he says. "Ok pay up." All his friends start handing over money, way more than the cigarettes would cost. He must have bet them you would show your tits, you sigh again and can''t believe you are being more or less pimped out by a boy that likely doesn''t even have hair on his balls yet.'
-							'They all just stare at your tits for a couple of minutes more before Maksim says. "Ok you can go, we will talk later." He tries to make it sound like he was in charge and sexy at the same time, he failed but his friends seem to have bought it. You can''t help but roll your eyes. You rearrange your clothes back in place to cover everything and then you walk off.'
-
+							'"I''m still breaking her in and it will be when I say." He says and gives all his friends a look to show he is in charge here. "Now pay up," he says.'
+							'All his friends start handing over money, way more than the cigarettes would cost. He must have bet them you would show your tits. You sigh again and can''t believe you are being more or less pimped out by a boy that likely doesn''t even have hair on his balls yet. They all just stare at your tits for a couple of minutes more before Maksim says. "Ok you can go, we will talk later." He tries to make it sound like he was in charge and sexy at the same time, he failed but his friends seem to have bought it. You can''t help but roll your eyes. You rearrange your clothes back in place to cover everything and then you walk off.'
 							act 'Walk off': gt 'pav_complex','start'
 						end
 					end
@@ -95,12 +97,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'maksim_blackmail':
 							gs 'fame', 'pav', 'sex', 2
 							inhib_exp += rand(1,3)
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/maksim/flashtits1.jpg"></center>'
-							'You sigh and then pull aside your clothes and flash them your tits. One of them says. "Holy shit she did it." They all look surprised but Maksim who just looks smug.'
-							'"See I told you guys." One of them starts to reach for your bare breasts. You start to move but Maksim says something first. "Hey no touching." Then he grabs his hand and pulls it away. You are surprised and a bit relieved he did that.'
+							'You sigh and then pull aside your clothes and flash them your tits.'
+							'"Holy shit! She really did it!" They all look surprised but Maksim who just looks smug.'
+							'"See? I told you guys." One of them starts to reach for your bare breasts. You start to move but Maksim stops him, grabbing his hand and pulling it away. "Hey no touching." You are surprised and a bit relieved he did that.'
 							'"Why not?" His friend asks.'
 							*nl
-							'"I am still breaking her in and it will be when I say." He says and gives all his friends a look to show he is in charge here. Then he says. "Ok pay up." All his friends start handing over money, way more than the cigarettes would cost. He must have bet them you would show your tits, you sigh again and can''t believe you are being more or less pimped out by a boy that likely doesn''t even have hair on his balls yet.'
-							'They all just stare at your tits for a couple of minutes more before Maksim says. "Ok you can go, we will talk later." He tries to make it sound like he was in charge and sexy at the same time, he failed but his friends seem to have bought it. You can''t help but roll your eyes. You rearrange your clothes back in place to cover everything and then you walk off.'
+							'"I''m still breaking her in and it will be when I say." He says and gives all his friends a look to show he is in charge here. "Now pay up," he says.'
+							'All his friends start handing over money, way more than the cigarettes would cost. He must have bet them you would show your tits. You sigh again and can''t believe you are being more or less pimped out by a boy that likely doesn''t even have hair on his balls yet. They all just stare at your tits for a couple of minutes more before Maksim says. "Ok you can go, we will talk later." He tries to make it sound like he was in charge and sexy at the same time, he failed but his friends seem to have bought it. You can''t help but roll your eyes. You rearrange your clothes back in place to cover everything and then you walk off.'
 
 							act 'Walk off': gt 'pav_complex','start'
 						end
@@ -117,9 +120,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'maksim_blackmail':
 			gs 'stat'
 			minut += 1
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/anushapt/maksim.jpg"></center>'
-			'"Fuck off you little shit." You tell him and smirk a bit as his surprised expression, he obviously expected you to agree.'
+			'"Fuck off you little shit." He blinks in surprise at your words, eliciting a smirk from you. He obviously expected you to agree without question.'
 			'Then he gets angry. "Fine bitch, I will just go show her."'
-			'You smirk to him. "Go right in, go in while your sister is having sex, I am sure they won''t mind and if you wait till they finish I am sure your sister won''t mind you was trying to blackmail one of her friends. Who do you think she will be more pissed at?"'
+			'You smirk to him. "Go right in, go in while your sister is having sex, I am sure they won''t mind and if you wait till they finish. I am sure your sister won''t mind you was trying to blackmail one of her friends. Who do you think she will be more pissed at?"'
 			'He snears at you, pauses a moment then angrly walks away.'
 
 			act 'Leave apartment': gt 'pav_complex','start'