Proofreading

locations/camera.qsrc

@@ -77,8 +77,7 @@ $camera_locations['ParChurch'] = {
 	$camera_return_loc_arg = 'start'
 }
 
-! People that should show up when the player is looking at her camera
-! considering who to photograph. Also used by events that attempt to
+! People that should show up when the player is looking at her camera considering who to photograph. Also used by events that attempt to
 ! inject camera opportunities into existing locations
 $camera_people['mother'] = {
 	$camera_description = $npc_nickname['A29']
@@ -124,8 +123,8 @@ $camera_people['eugene'] = {
 if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	*clr & cla
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/items/accessories/camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'You can''t help but smile as you check your camera. You love capturing life as it happens, but sometimes it is hard to decided exactly what you want to take photo''s of.'
-	'You spend a few moments thinking about places and people that might make for interesting photographs. Perhaps...'
+	'You can''t help but smile as you check your camera. You love capturing life as it happens, but can be hard to decide exactly who or what you want to take photographs of.'
+	'You spend a few minutes thinking about places and people that might make for interesting subjects. Perhaps...'
 	*nl
 	! Get the number of locations in the array
 	location_count = ARRSIZE('$camera_locations')
@@ -154,7 +153,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 		if iterator < people_count: jump 'people_loop'
 	end
 
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'check_location':
@@ -198,69 +197,69 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'eugene':
 	*clr & cla
 	npc_rel['A89'] += 1
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big89.jpg"></center>'
-	'"Hey can I ask you something?" You ask her.'
-	'She smiles and nods to you. "Sure what is it sweety?"'
-	'"Can I take your photo?" You ask her.'
-	'"Sure sweety." She stops to give you a moment to take a photo misunderstanding you.'
-	'You shake your head and pull out your camera. "No I meant a bunch of them with this."'
+	'"Hey, can I ask you something?"'
+	'She smiles and nods. "Sure. What is it sweetie?"'
+	'"Can I take your photo?"'
+	'"Sure thing, sweetie." She stops to let you take a photo, misunderstanding what you meant.'
+	'You shake your head and pull out your camera. "No, I meant with this."'
 	'She looks a little surprised and sheepish. "Oh! Are you working on becoming a photographer?"'
 	*nl
-	'You nod to her. "Yes, I just need more practice, which is where you come in."'
-	'She laughs a bit about that. "Ok, sure why not. I havn''t taken a break yet today. I can take one now, we can go to my place and you can take my picture there. Sound good?"'
-	'You nod. "Sure works for me." With that she goes to tell her sister she is taking a break and then leads you out of the cafe, just a few blocks away to a apartment building. She leads you upstairs and into a apartment, apparently she lives very close to work. Once inside you take out your camera.'
+	'You nod. "Yes, I just need more practice. Which is where you come in."'
+	'She laughs softly. "Okay, why not? I havn''t taken a break yet today. We can go to my place and you can take my picture there. Sound good?"'
+	'You nod. "Sure, that works for me." She tells her sister that she''s taking a break and leads you out of the cafe to her apartment building. She leads you upstairs and into her apartment. Once inside, you take out your camera.'
 	act 'Start taking her picture': gt 'eugeneev1', 'photography'
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'mother':
 	cla & *clr
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/mom/mother.jpg"></center>'
-	'You take our your camera. "Hey <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>, do you mind if I take your photo, for my portfolio?" You ask her.'
-	'She frowns to you. "Where did you get that camera?"'
-	'You shrug a little. "I saved up and bought it. So please? I need the practice and I think you would make a great photo."'
+	'You take our your camera. "Hey <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>, do you mind if I take your photograph for my portfolio?"'
+	'She frowns at you. "Where did you get that camera?"'
+	'You shrug a little. "I saved up and bought it. Please? I need the practice and I think you would make a great subject."'
 	'She shakes her head. "Seems like a waste of money to me."'
-	'You sigh. "I love doing it, plus I can make a living at it. For art or reporting news, so please?"'
+	'You sigh. "I love doing it, plus I can make a living from it. Please?"'
 	*nl
-	'She sighs. "Fine, but I still think it is a waste of time."'
-	'You nod. "I know, lets go outside."'
-	'She replies. "I don''t have time for that, just take my picture."'
-	'You plead with her. "Please?"'
-	'She shakes her head. "Fine, the things I do for you kids."'
-	act 'Take photo':
+	'She sighs. "Fine, but I still think it''s a waste of time."'
+	'You nod. "I know. Let''s go outside."'
+	'"I don''t have time for that, just take my picture." she sternly replies'
+	'"Please?" you plead.'
+	'She shakes her head. "Fine. The things I do for you kids..."'
+	act 'Take her photo':
 		cla & *clr
 		minut += 15
 		photoskl_exp += rand(3,5)
 		portfolio_people[1] = 1
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/pc/activities/photography/foto/people/1.jpg"></center>'
-		'You go outside to the courtyard, then have her stand in a few poses in a few different spots, finally settling on her standing in front of a bunch of flowers. "I got it."'
-		'She walks over to you. "Finally, now I can get back to the house work."'
-		'You show her the photo''s you took and the one you finally decided on. "Here look, this one here is the one I will use for my portfolio."'
-		'She smiles a bit. "They do look nice, I still say it is a waste of time though."'
-		'You roll your eyes. "I know <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>." You put your camera away as she walks back inside.'
-		act 'Finish putting camera away': gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+		'You go outside and have her stand in a few poses around the courtyard before finally settling on her standing in front of some flowers. "I got it!"'
+		'She walks over to you. "Finally. Now I can get back to the housework."'
+		'You show her the photos you took and the one you finally decided on. "Here look, this one here is the one I will use for my portfolio."'
+		'She smiles. "They do look nice... I still say it''s a waste of time though."'
+		'You roll your eyes. "I know <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>>." you reply as she walks back inside.'
+		act 'Put your camera away': gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 	end
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'anya':
 	cla & *clr
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/resident/anya/home/sisboyqw_05.jpg"></center>'
-	'You climb off the bed for a moment and get your camera off your desk. "Hey do you mind if I take your photo, for my portfolio?" You ask her.'
-	'She smiles as she says. "What is it with you and that camera?"'
-	'You shrug a little. "I just love doing it, if I get good enough I could do it for a living. So please? I need the practice and I think you would make a great photo."'
-	'She giggles a bit. "Fine, but something classy."'
+	'You climb off the bed and grab your camera off your desk. "Hey, do you mind if I take your photograph for my portfolio?"'
+	'She smiles. "What is it with you and that camera?"'
+	'You shrug a little. "I just love doing it. If I get good enough I could do it for a living. So please? I need the practice and I think you would make a great subject."'
+	'She giggles. "Fine, but something classy."'
 	'You nod. "Deal."'
-	act 'Take photo':
+	act 'Take her photo':
 		cla & *clr
 		minut += 15
 		photoskl_exp += rand(3,5)
 		portfolio_people[2] = 1
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/pc/activities/photography/foto/people/2.jpg"></center>'
-		'You direct her to lay on the bed in several poses, then stand in varies spots in the room, finally you find just the perfect image. Once you have taken it, you sit down on the bed. "I got it."'
+		'You direct her to lie on the bed in several poses, then stand in various spots around the room before you finally find the perfect image. Once you''ve taken it, you sit down on the bed. "I got it."'
 		'She sits down next to you. "Let me see."'
-		'You show her the photo''s you took and the one you finally decided on. "You sure my ass doesn''t look fat in this image? I think it looks fat." She says with a pout.'
-		'You shake your head and reassure her. "Your ass looks perfect thats why I took this photo. Trust me."'
-		'"Fine" Then she lays back down. You put your camera away and join her back on her bed.'
+		'You show her the photos you took and the one you finally decided on. "You sure my ass doesn''t look fat in this? I think it looks fat." she says with a pout.'
+		'You shake your head and reassure her. "Your ass looks perfect. That''s why I took this photo. Trust me."'
+		'"Fine!" she pouts before sits back down on her bed. You put your camera away and join her.'
 		act 'Finish': gt 'sister_chat', 'sister_chat'
 	end
 end
@@ -268,17 +267,17 @@ end
 if $ARGS[0] = 'lazar':
 	cla & *clr
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big149.jpg"></center>'
-	'You smile to him and pull out your camera. "Hey do you mind if I take your photo, for my portfolio?" You ask him.'
-	'He smiles as he says. "Sure but only if you promise to show me your portfolio when you are done."'
-	'You nod your head. "Deal." Then he jogs over to Kolka and his classmates play.'
-	act 'Take photo':
+	'You smile at him as you pull out your camera. "Hey, do you mind if I take your photograph for my portfolio?"'
+	'He smiles. "Sure, but only if you promise to show me your portfolio when you''re done."'
+	'You nod your head. "Deal." He jogs over to Kolka and his classmates playing.'
+	act 'Take his photo':
 		cla & *clr
 		minut += 15
 		photoskl_exp += rand(3,5)
 		portfolio_people[3] = 1
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/pc/activities/photography/foto/people/3.jpg"></center>'
-		'You watch as he starts showing off his skills, pretending to be teaching them, but you are fairly sure he is just showing off for your photographs. You start taking several of him and they are looking pretty good, then he pulls off his shirt. You keep taking photographs and you have to admit, he is in amazing shape and good looking for a boy. Finally you get just the shot you want, with that you put your camera away. Give Lazar a wave, which he returns, as you leave.'
+		'You watch as he starts showing off his skills, pretending to be teaching them, but you''re fairly sure he''s just showing off for you. You start taking several photos of him and they''re looking pretty good. He then suddenly pulls off his shirt and you keep taking photographs as you try to remain focused. You finally get the shot you want and put your camera away before giving Lazar a wave. He returns the wave as you leave.'
 		act 'Walk off the pitch': gt 'gschool_grounds', 'sports'
 	end
 end
@@ -290,8 +289,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'city_library':
 	portfolio_locations[1] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'You make your way over to the city library, it is a grand building and would make a wonderful photograph. You move around looking through the camera several times until you find just the perfect spot. You take several photos, then you pause and check them. Happy with your results you know you have something to add to your portfolio.'
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	'You make your way over to the city library. It is a grand building and would make for a wonderful photograph. You move around several times until you find the perfect spot and take several photos before pausing and checking them. You''re happy with the results, knowing that you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'city_uni':
@@ -301,8 +300,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'city_uni':
 	portfolio_locations[2] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'You make your way over to the city University, it is a grand building and would make a wonderful photograph. You move around looking through the camera several times until you find just the perfect spot. You take several photos, then you pause and check them. You can''t help but also notice all the students moving around the quad and feel that would be a amazing photo as well. You stop and take several photos of the students moving around. Happy with your results you know you have something to add to your portfolio.'
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	'You make your way over to the university. It is a grand building and would make for a wonderful photograph. You move around several times until you find the perfect spot and take several photos before pausing and checking them. You can''t help but notice all the students moving around and feel that they would make for a great photo as well. You stop and take several more photos of the students before stopping. You''re happy with the results, knowing that you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'gadukino':
@@ -312,8 +311,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'gadukino':
 	portfolio_locations[4] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'Standing in the village you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around looking through the camera several times until you find just the perfect spot. You take several photos, then you pause and check them. You can''t help but also notice the houses and feel they would be a amazing photo as well. You stop and take several photos of different houses, finally settling on your grandparents home. Happy with your results you know you have something to add to your portfolio.'
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	'Standing in the village, you realize what a wonderful photograph this place would make. You move around several times until you find the perfect spot and take several photos before pausing and checking them. You can''t help but notice the houses and feel that they would make for a great photo as well. You stop and take several photos of different houses before finally settling on your grandparents home. You''re happy with the results, knowing that you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'gadforest':
@@ -323,8 +322,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'gadforest':
 	portfolio_locations[6] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'Standing in the forest you amazed by how breath takingly beautiful it is out here. You walk around taking photos of the trees until you are happy with the results. Checking one last time all the photo''s you took, you feel confident you found something to add to your portfolio and put the camera away.'
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	'Standing in the forest, you are amazed by how breathtakingly beautiful it is out here. You walk around taking photos of the trees until you''re happy and check all the photos you''ve taken. You feel confident that you''ve found something to add to your portfolio and put your camera away.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_church':
@@ -334,8 +333,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_church':
 	portfolio_locations[12] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'Standing in front of the local church you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around looking through the camera several times until you find just the perfect spot. You take several photos, then you pause and check them. With that done you spot the cemetery and walk near it and start taking photos of it as well. Happy with your results you know you have something to add to your portfolio.'
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	'Standing in front of the local church, you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around several times until you find the perfect spot and take several photos before pausing and checking them. You then spot the cemetery and walk over to take some photos of it as well. You''re happy with the results, knowing that you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_train':
@@ -345,8 +344,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_train':
 	portfolio_locations[8] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'Standing in front of the local train station you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around looking through the camera several times until you find just the perfect spot. You take several photos, then you pause and check them. Happy with your results you know you have something to add to your portfolio.'
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	'Standing in front of the local train station, you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around several times until you find the perfect spot and take several photos before pausing and checking them. You''re happy with the results, knowing that you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_complex':
@@ -356,8 +355,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_complex':
 	portfolio_locations[7] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'Standing in the courtyard you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around looking through the camera several times until you find just the perfect spot. You take several photos, then you pause and check them. Happy with your results you know you have something to add to your portfolio.'
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	'Standing in the courtyard, you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around several times until you find the perfect spot and take several photos before pausing and checking them. You''re happy with the results, knowing that you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_school':
@@ -367,8 +366,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_school':
 	portfolio_locations[9] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'Standing in front of the school you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around looking through the camera several times until you find just the perfect spot. You take several photos, then you pause and check them. Happy with your results you know you have something to add to your portfolio.'
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	'Standing in front of the school, you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around several times until you find the perfect spot and take several photos before pausing and checking them. You''re happy with the results, knowing that you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_park':
@@ -378,8 +377,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_park':
 	portfolio_locations[10] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'Walking through the park you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around looking through the camera several times until you find just the perfect spot. You take several photos, then you pause and check them. Happy with your results you know you have something to add to your portfolio.'
-	act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+	'Walking through the park, you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You move around several times until you find the perfect spot and take several photos before pausing and checking them. You''re happy with the results, knowing that you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_lake':
@@ -389,24 +388,25 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_lake':
 	portfolio_locations[11] = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img src="images/pc/activities/photography/sveta_camera.jpg"></center>'
-	'As you look out over the lake you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You walk around the shore looking through the camera several times until you find just the perfect spot. You take several photos, then you pause and check them. Happy with your results you know you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	'As you look out over the lake, you realize what a wonderful photo this place would make. You walk around the shore several times until you find the perfect spot and take several photos before pausing and checking them. You''re happy with the results, knowing that you have something to add to your portfolio.'
+	act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 	if soniaPS > 0 and sunWeather = 1 and temp > 15 and hour > 6 or hour < 22:
-		'Just as you are about ready to put your camera away, you notice a girl sunbathing topless. It takes you a moment to realize it is Sonia, she appears to be alone. You wonder if she would make a good subject to photograph, a take on how innocence can get lost in a cruel world.'
+		'Just as you''re about to put your camera away, you notice a girl sunbathing topless. It takes you a minute to realize that it''s Sonia and she appears to be alone. You wonder if she would make a good subject, a take on how innocence can be lost in a cruel world.'
 		gs 'camera', 'pav_lake_sonia'
 	else
-		act 'Put Camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
+		act 'Put your camera away': gt $loc, $loc_arg
 	end
 end
 
 if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_lake_sonia':
-	if $ARGS[1] = 'describe': 'You notice a girl sunbathing topless. It takes you a moment to realize it is Sonia, she appears to be alone. You wonder if she would make a good subject to photograph, a take on how innocence can get lost in a cruel world.'
-	act 'Take Sonia''s photograph':
+	if $ARGS[1] = 'describe': 'You notice a girl sunbathing topless. It takes you a minute to realize that it''s Sonia and she appears to be alone. You wonder if she would make a good subject, a take on how innocence can be lost in a cruel world.'
+	act 'Take her photograph':
 		*clr & cla
 		camera_found['sonia'] = 1
 		photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/sonia/lake/photography/photo1.jpg"></center>'
-		'You get a little closer to her and then start taking her photograph, you move around and take a couple of photo''s from different places and angles. It seems you made too much noise as she suddenly sits up partial and looks your direction.'
+		'You get a little closer and start taking her photograph, moving around and taking a number of shots from different angles before she suddenly sits up and looks in your direction.'
 		gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 		gs 'stat'
 		act 'Caught':
@@ -414,27 +414,27 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_lake_sonia':
 			photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 			gs 'stat'
 			'<center><img src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/sonia/lake/photography/photo2.jpg"></center>'
-			'She covers herself up and looks at you in surprise. "What the fuck <<$pcs_nickname>>! What are you doing?"'
-			'You smile and take another photo of her. "Sorry I was just taking your photo, you was just so beautiful I couldn''t help myself."'
-			'She smiles a bit at the compliment. "Really?"'
-			'You nod as you take another photo of her. "Yes, now won''t don''t you get up and stop covering up." You tell her.'
-			'She smiles even more. "Ok but just a few." Then she gets up to her knee''s and removes her hands from covering herself up. Now giving you a nice shot of her topless body.'
+			'She covers herself up and looks at you in surprise. "What the fuck <<$pcs_nickname>>?! What are you doing?"'
+			'You smile and take another photo of her. "Sorry, I was just taking your photo. You''re just so beautiful and I couldn''t help myself."'
+			'She smiles at the compliment. "Really?"'
+			'You nod as you take another photo of her. "Yes, now why don''t you get up and stop covering up?"'
+			'She smiles even more. "Okay, but just a few." She gets up on her knees and removes her hands, giving you a nice shot of her topless body.'
 			gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 2
 			gs 'stat'
-			act 'Take more photo''s':
+			act 'Take more photos':
 				*clr & cla
 				minut += 5
 				photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 				gs 'stat'
 				'<center><img src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/sonia/lake/photography/photo3.jpg"></center>'
-				'At first she is a bit awkward, seeming not knowing what to do. But as you take more photo''s she starts to relax and become more natural in her poses for you. Eventually she even starts to get into herself and enjoy it.'
-				act 'Take more photo''s':
+				'She is a little awkward at first, not knowing what to do, but as you continue taking more photos, she starts to relax and become more natural in her poses. She even starts to get into it herself and enjoying it.'
+				act 'Take more photos':
 					*clr & cla
 					photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 					gs 'stat'
 					'<center><img src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/sonia/lake/photography/photo4.jpg"></center>'
-					'As you take even more photo''s she starts teasing you by pulling on her bottoms, not enough to show off her pussy but almost. While her hands run along her body or play with her breasts as you take more photo''s of her.'
-					'You can''t help but smile and see how far she wants to go you tell her. "Come on loose the bottoms, you know you want too."'
+					'As you continue photographing her, she starts teasing you by pulling on her bottoms while her hands run along her body or play with her breasts.'
+					'You can''t help but smile and see how far she wants to go. "Come on, lose the bottoms. You know you want to..."'
 					gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 					gs 'stat'
 					act 'No bottoms':
@@ -442,7 +442,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_lake_sonia':
 						photoskl_exp += rand(1,2)
 						gs 'stat'
 						'<center><img src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/sonia/lake/photography/photo5.jpg"></center>'
-						'She grins and then unties her bottoms from one hip, which lets the bottoms partially fall off her, exposing her pussy. You take more photo''s as she pulls the other tie loose and her bottoms fall completely away.'
+						'She grins and unties her bottoms from one hip, which lets them partially fall off her, exposing her pussy. You take more photos as she pulls the other tie loose and her bottoms fall away.'
 						gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 						gs 'stat'
 						act 'Naked':
@@ -451,11 +451,11 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pav_lake_sonia':
 							portfolio_people[4] = 1
 							gs 'stat'
 							'<center><img src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/sonia/lake/photography/photo6.jpg"></center>'
-							'With her now completely naked you keep taking photo''s of her and start getting a lot closer to her as you. The longer it goes on the more turned on she seems to get, eventually she starts playing with her pussy as you take her photographs. Finally haven taken several dozen photo''s you feel you have taken enough and stop taking her photographs. "Thanks Sonia, I got what I needed."'
-							'For a moment she frowns then bobs her head slightly and smiles. "It was my pleasure, I really liked it." Then she hesitantly adds. "Maybe we can do it again sometime?" For a moment sounding more like her shy sweet former self before she feel into becoming the school slut.'
-							'You feel bad for her, you know almost no one just talks to her anymore. "Yeah sure, I would like that."'
-							'She breaks into a huge smile and looks happier than you have seen her in some time. "Ok just let me know or maybe just stop by my house and we can do more photo''s."'
-							'You nod to her. "I will, but for now I got all I need. So I will let you get back to sunbathing. Thanks again." With that you put your camera away and start to walk off, as you do you she starts to get dressed and you hear her say. "Bye."'
+							'You continue taking photos of her now naked body and start getting a lot closer to her. The longer it goes on, the more turned on she seems to get, eventually playing with her pussy. Finally, having taken several dozen photos, you feel that you''ve taken enough and stop. "Thanks Sonia, I got what I needed."'
+							'She frowns before bobbing her head slightly and smiling. "It was my pleasure, I really liked it. M-Maybe we can do it again sometime?" You can hear her shy sweet former self coming out.'
+							'You feel bad for her, knowing that almost nobody talks to her anymore. "Yeah sure, I would like that."'
+							'She breaks into a huge smile and looks happier than you''ve seen her in a long time. "Okay, just let me know or maybe stop by my house sometime?"'
+							'You nod. "I will, but for now I''ve got all I need. I''ll let you get back to sunbathing. Thanks again." She smiles and gets dressed as you put your camera away.'
 							gs 'arousal', 'voyeur', 5
 							gs 'arousal', 'end'
 							gs 'stat'