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Proofread the cool kids disco file

Vengeance11 2 years ago
parent
commit
a4906ade69
2 changed files with 207 additions and 205 deletions
  1. 196 194
      locations/pav_disco_coolkids.qsrc
  2. 11 11
      locations/pav_disco_jocks.qsrc

File diff suppressed because it is too large
+ 196 - 194
locations/pav_disco_coolkids.qsrc


+ 11 - 11
locations/pav_disco_jocks.qsrc

@@ -395,7 +395,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 			end
 		end
 	else
-		'You look out onto the dance floor and see Albina dancing. She is expertly moving her body in an erotic manner to the beat of the music. You almost feel a little jealous watching her dance so well.'
+		'Albina is sitting on one of the couches the cool kids have claimed, her smooth shapely legs crossed over as she watches other people dancing.'
 		act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		act 'Hang out with her':
 			*clr & cla
@@ -405,7 +405,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 			if grupTipe = 5:
 				'Albina just laughs loudly as you approach her. "Why are <i>you</i> here? Go hang out with the other losers somewhere else." she taunts before moving away and dancing with her friends.'
 			elseif (grupeTipe = 1 or grupeTipe = 2) and npc_rel['A23'] >= 70 or AlbQW['Friends'] = 2:	
-				'"What''s up Albina?" you ask as you approach.'
+				'"What''s up Albina?" you ask as you approach and take a seat next to her.'
 				'She smiles at you. "Oh you know, just letting my hair down and having some fun. What about you?"'
 				'"Same. Just enjoying the night." you reply and she smiles at you again.'
 			elseif npc_rel['A23'] <= 20 and fame['pav_slut'] < 250:
@@ -413,15 +413,15 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 					'"What''s up Albina?" you ask as you approach.'
 					'She scoffs in response. "Like you actually care. I don''t like you, I barely tolerate you being in the same social group as me, so why would I want to talk to you? Just piss off already." Not wanting to cause a scene, you back off.'
 				else
-					'Albina sees you approaching and rolls her eyes before walking away, not giving you a chance to speak to her.'
+					'Albina sees you approaching and rolls her eyes before getting up and walking away, not giving you a chance to speak to her.'
 				end
 			elseif fame['pav_slut'] >= 250:
 				'Albina seems a little surprised at your presence. "Why are <i>you</i> here? Do you enjoy all the boys wanting a piece of you like you''re just some fuck toy to them?"'
-				'Before you can react, Albina waves you aside and walks away. "You know what, I don''t fucking care. I''m sure you''ll find plenty of dicks to suck here, so why don''t you go find one or two?"'
+				'Before you can react, Albina stands up and waves you aside before walking away. "You know what, I don''t fucking care. I''m sure you''ll find plenty of dicks to suck here, so why don''t you go find one or two?"'
 				'You could clearly hear the disappointment in her voice, but you think she also felt pity towards you at the same time.'
 			else 
 				'"Hey Albina, what''s up?" you ask as you approach.'
-				'Albina just looks at you and shrugs before turning around and ignoring you. Seeing that she''s not interested in speaking with you, you walk away.'
+				'Albina just looks at you and shrugs before looking away and ignoring you. Seeing that she''s not interested in speaking with you, you walk away.'
 			end
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			act 'Ask her to dance':
@@ -429,10 +429,10 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 				minut += 15
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big23.jpg"></center>'
 				if (grupeTipe = 1 or grupeTipe = 2) and npc_rel['A23'] >= 70 or AlbQW['Friends'] = 2:
-				  'Albina smiles and accepts your offer to dance.'
+				  'Albina smiles and accepts your offer to dance. She gets and grabs your hand before leading you out to the dance floor.'
 					act 'Go dancing': gt 'pav_disco_jocks', 'albina_dance'
 				else
-					'Albina looks you over with a hint of contempt on her face before moving away from you and dancing with her friends.'
+					'Albina looks you over with a hint of contempt on her face before standing up and going to dance with her friends.'
 					act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 				end
 			end
@@ -447,14 +447,14 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 					!! party has happened
 					!! 'You stand against the wall with Albina and chat with her. She looks less than impressed. "Why did I come back to this shitty disco instead of just holding another party at my place? It''s so fucking boring here. Just look at that chaperone over there. I''m pretty sure he''s checking us all out, the creepy bastard."'
 					if lazar_threesome >= 1:
-						'You stand against the wall with Albina and chat with her. "This place is so fucking boring. I might find Lazar and see if he wants to go and have a little fun at his place." She then turns to you. "Tell me, wouldn''t you rather be bent over and pounded hard than stand around in this dump with these losers? You know how big Lazar is <<$pcs_nickname>>. Wouldn''t it be nice to have him inside you again?" Before you''re able to answer, she smiles and winks at you before walking away, seemingly in search of Lazar.'
+						'You sit and chat with Albina. "This place is so fucking boring. I might find Lazar and see if he wants to go and have a little fun at his place." She then turns to you. "Tell me, wouldn''t you rather be bent over and pounded hard than stand around in this dump with these losers? You know how big Lazar is <<$pcs_nickname>>. Wouldn''t it be nice to have him inside you again?" Before you''re able to answer, she smiles and winks at you before getting up and walking away, seemingly in search of Lazar.'
 					elseif npc_sex['A23'] >= 1:
-						'You stand against the wall with Albina and chat with her. "God, it''s so fucking boring here. Wouldn''t you rather sneak off to a quiet place with me and have a little fun? I''d love to taste your pussy right now." You''re not sure how to react, but Albina laughs. "I''m just kidding <<$pcs_nickname>>. About the sneaking off part anyway. You taste too good." she says before giving you a wink and walking away. You''re again unsure if she was joking or not.'
+						'You sit and chat with Albina. "God, it''s so fucking boring here. Wouldn''t you rather sneak off to a quiet place with me and have a little fun? I''d love to taste your pussy right now." You''re not sure how to react, but Albina laughs. "I''m just kidding <<$pcs_nickname>>. About the sneaking off part anyway. You taste too good..." she says before giving you a wink and walking away. You''re again unsure if she was joking or not.'
 					else
 						if rand(0, 1) = 1:
-							'You stand against the wall with Albina and chat with her. "Look at that chaperone over there. I''m pretty sure he''s checking us all out, the creepy bastard."'
+							'You sit and chat with Albina. "Look at that chaperone over there. I''m pretty sure he''s checking us all out, the creepy bastard."'
 						else
-							'You stand against the wall with Albina and chat with her. "You know, it''s pretty insulting having to come here and watch these beached whales flail around trying to dance. I much prefer going to nightclubs where I''m too drunk to care. You should come with me sometime."'
+							'You sit and chat with Albina. "You know, it''s pretty insulting having to come here and watch these beached whales flail around trying to dance. I much prefer going to nightclubs where I''m too drunk to care. You should come with me sometime."'
 						end
 					end
 					act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'

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