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+# gschool_gossip
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+
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+if $ARGS[0] = 'morning':
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+!!going to class
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+ 'While walking down the halls before class, you make your way past the other students. As you do, you overhear some of them talking about a variety of things, including sometimes some juicy gossip.'
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+ gs 'gschool_gossip', 'gossip'
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+end
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+
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+if $ARGS[0] = 'skipping':
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+!!skipping lunch
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+ 'On your way to hang out with your friends during lunch, you pass by small knots of your fellow students engaged in their own conversations. As you do, you overhear them talking about a variety of things, including sometimes some juicy gossip.'
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+ gs 'gschool_gossip', 'gossip'
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+end
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+
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+if $ARGS[0] = 'bagged':
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+!!bag lunch
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+ 'You take your bag lunch to one of the tables, with a empty seat and sit there. While you are eating your lunch you can''t help but overhear some of the conversations going on around you. Your fellow students are talking about a variety of things, including sometimes some juicy gossip.'
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+ gs 'gschool_gossip', 'gossip'
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+end
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+
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+if $ARGS[0] = 'buying':
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+!!buy lunch
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+ 'You stand in line to buy your lunch, while in line you chat to a few of your fellow students, until you make your purchase. Then you take your lunch tray and find a empty seat at one of the tables and take a seat, while you are eating your lunch you can''t help but overhear some of the conversations going on around you. Your fellow students are talking about a variety of things, including sometimes some juicy gossip.'
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+ gs 'gschool_gossip', 'gossip'
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+end
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+
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+if $ARGS[0] = 'gym':
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+!!leaving gym
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+ 'Exiting the girls locker room, you pass by some of your fellow students at they are leaving gym as well. As you do, you overhear some of them talking about a variety of things, including sometimes some juicy gossip.'
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+ gs 'gschool_gossip', 'girls'
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+end
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+
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+if $ARGS[0] = 'gossip':
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+ if rand(0,1) = 0:
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+ gs 'gschool_gossip', 'mixed'
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+ elseif rand(0,1) = 0:
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+ gs 'gschool_gossip', 'boys'
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+ else
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+ gs 'gschool_gossip', 'girls'
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+ end
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+end
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+
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+
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+if $ARGS[0] = 'mixed':
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+ chat_rand = rand(1, 75)
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+ if chat_rand = 1:
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+ '"Man, this town is so boring! We really need to graduate soon, so we can go live in the city!"'
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+ 'His friend heartily agrees, "Absolutely, I hear they have parties in the university hostel every day of the week!"'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 2:
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+ '"We went to the old Town, it''s so boring. Just old buildings and a huge park, but I got a snog out of it so not all bad."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 3:
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+ '"I heard some of the older kids have a party every week, it''s all drinking and sex."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 4:
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+ 'There is a porn star who looks just like Sveta.'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 5:
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+ '"I was visiting a friend in the apartment complexes and saw a couple having sex right there in the stairwell."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 6:
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+ '"I heard the volleyball coach from the center is fucking one of the girls on the team."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 7:
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+ '"My little brother plays football after school almost every day. They watch porn afterwards and he said that sometimes one of the girls from our class stops by and blows them all, but he won''t tell me who it is."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 8:
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+ '"My cousin goes to college in the city and said there is a dorm whore who fucks all the black guys."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 9:
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+ '"We were coming back from the city and I swear I saw someone who looked almost exactly like sveta standing around with all the whores near the highway."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 10:
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+ '"I heard Mr Kuznetsov has a big dick. One of the girls was cutting class in the mens room and spied on him taking piss, she said his dick nearly hung down to his knees."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 11:
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+ '"I heard Mr Kuznetsov hates it here and was trying to get a transfer but Miss Volkov blocked it and now they hate each other."'
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+ 'Really? I heard they was fucking at school."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 12:
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+ 'A friend said her mom over heard Mrs Tsarev telling someone, that Mr Tsarev has a little dick and that''s why she won''t have sex with him anymore."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 13:
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+ '"I heard Mr Tsarev is not a happily married man and they might be getting a divorce, I feel sorry for Lera."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 14:
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+ '"I heard Mr Ivanov cornered one of the girls in the bathroom and threatened to have her expelled if she did suck his dick."'
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+ '"Yeah I heard that too and that he has a huge dick, and that he fucked her in the ass until she cried."'
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+ '"Fucking bastard!"'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 15:
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+ 'Mr Ivanov is such as asshole, he is always giving the nerds special treatment, while fucking with the rest of us. I got Artem to write my paper and I barely got a passing grade on it while he got a perfect score on his."'
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+ '"I always knew he was harder on everyone that wasn''t a nerd. I heard it is because he was a nerd in school and was always picked on."'
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+ '"Yeah I imagine it, he looks like a looser."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 16:
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+ '"I heard Marcus''s dick is bigger than most girls arms and he has to tape it to his leg during gym class to keep it from falling out of his shorts."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 17:
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+ '"I heard Marcus tries to lure girls to the city, where he takes them to the University dorms where all the blacks gang bang her."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 18:
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+ '"I heard Marcus is a sex fiend, he always has a hard-on."'
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+ 'Well I heard it is because all the girls like to tease him because they think it is funny."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 19:
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+ '"I heard the only reason Marcus is here is because he wants to find a nice Russian girl to marry and take back to the America."'
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+ '"That''s not what I heard, I heard he came here because he thought all the Russian girls would want to jump on his dick because he is black."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 20:
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+ '"I heard Mr Vasilyev was gay and that he came onto some of the guys after school."'
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+ '"Ug he shouldn''t be allowed to teach here."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 21:
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+ '"I heard Miss Volkov has a draw full of sex toys she has confiscated from students."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 22:
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+ '"I heard Miss Volkov will use a strap-on on her students if she feels paddlin''s arn''t working'
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+ '"Really? Well I guess the gopniks would know." They both laugh at that."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 23:
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+ '"I heard Miss Volkov use to work as a Dominatrix."'
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+ '"I heard she still does on the weekends."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 24:
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+ '"Man Mrs Sokoloff is so old they built the old school around her and they had to force her to move her class to the new building."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 25:
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+ '"I was in the city last week and I seen Mrs Braakman at a club partying like crazy."'
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+ '"I hear she is a total party animal, goes to the city on Friday night and doesn''t come home until Sunday night and parties the whole time."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 26:
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+ '"I heard when Mrs Braakman husband was still alive they was swingers, now she just goes to orgies."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 27:
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+ '"I heard Mrs Braakman killed her husband and made it look like a accident."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 28:
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+ '"A girl told me she went to the supply closet to get paper towels and found the janitor in there jerking off."'
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+ '"Aw that''s sick."'
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+ '"she also said he had a little dick, barely big enough to fit his hand on." They start laughing at that.'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 29:
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+ '"I heard the janitor goes through the girls lockers and steals their panties if they leave them at school."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 30:
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+ '"I heard the janitor drilled a hole in the wall of the girls shower in gym and spies on them when they take a shower."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 31:
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+ '"Oh man did you hear what happened to Igor?"'
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+ '"About him getting his shorts pulled down? Yeah, I also heard he had such a tiny dick it wasn''t much bigger than a girls clit."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 32:
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+ '"Man Andrey is such a asshole!"'
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+ '"Why?'"
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+ '"He cheats on Stasya.'"
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+ '"Yeah well she deserve it, she is a total bitch."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 33:
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+ '"I heard Stasya is so in love with Andrey she will let him do anything to her."'
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+ '"Yeah I heard he makes her eat out other girls while he watches."'
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+ '"Well I heard he makes her bring him girls for a threesome."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 34:
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+ '"Some girl said Mefodiy has a big dick, so big she couldn''t fit it all in her mouth."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 35:
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+ '"Stasya is a complete bitch, I said hi to her in the hall last week and she just looked at me like I insulted her and didn''t say anything back."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 36:
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+ '"I heard Stasya hates Marcus and is trying to get him expelled."'
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+ '"Well I heard she is fucking him behind Andrey''s back."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 37:
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+ 'Laughing "I overheard Stasya talking and she was worried Andrey was cheating on her. Stupid bitch, he is constantly cheating on her."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 38:
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+ '"I heard Katja is a lesbian, she was kissing some other girl in the hall."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 39:
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+ '"I heard Albina whores out the girls in her dance troop the Starlets and that she is a madam, running whores."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 40:
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+ '"If you ever want to know the latest gossip, just ask Lizaveta. That girl seems to know every bit of gossip and never shuts up about it."'
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+ 'Friend laughs. "I heard she even mutters about gossip in her sleep."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 41:
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+ '"Don''t cross Lizaveta or she will totally ruin your reputation by spreading gossip about you."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 42:
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+ '"I heard Ivan''s dad skipped town when he was young and now his mom works two jobs to support him and his bother and sister."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 43:
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+ '"Burr did you feel that chill? The ice queen Sokolov just walked by."'
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+ '"Do people call her that because she is such a good skater?"'
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+ '"That and the fact she is completely cold hearted with no emotion at all."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 44:
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+ '"I heard Lazar has a box full of girls panties at his house."'
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+ '"What? He wears girls panties?"'
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+ 'sigh "No he takes the panties of all the girls he fucks for the first time, like a trophy."'
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+ '"Oh... how many does he have?"'
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+ '"I heard a couple of dozen and by the time school is over he plans to add a pair from every girl in school... well at least the pretty girls."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 45:
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+ '"I heard Erast is taking steroids and that''s why he is so big and strong."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 46:
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+ '"If Lariska wasn''t such a total doormat letting people tell her what to do, she would make a great captain for the volleyball team."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 47:
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+ '"If Christina was half as good as she thinks she is, she would hold the women''s world record for all track events."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 48:
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+ '"I saw Feiofan walking around in a custom over the weekend."'
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+ '"Yeah he likes to dress up and go to those conventions and stuff"'
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+ '"No I mean he was just walking around town all dressed up, I wasn''t sure it was him at first tell he said something to me."'
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+ '"Man he is weird."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 49:
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+ '"Natasha''s mom must be super poor, she is wearing the same school uniform she had last year."'
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+ '"She has been wearing mostly the same clothes for the last couple of years and she always brings a lunch from home."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 50:
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+ '"What ever you do, don''t loan money to Natasha, she will never pay you back. I lent her 50P and I doubt I will ever see it again."'
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+ '"I heard one of the guys threatened her and told her to get his money or she better start blowing him and then she dropped right to her knees and sucked him off."'
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+ '"Bullshit, no way... really? Hmmm... maybe I better ask her for my money again."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 51:
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+ '"Radomir acts like he is already the next Yuri Shatunov, I mean he''s ok but no where near as good as he likes to think he is."'
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+ '"I don''t know he is pretty good and so is his band."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 52:
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+ '"Man I can''t believe how much Lavrenti has changed. He use to be so much cooler back before he went all gopnik."'
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+ '"I heard it was because he was in love with some girl and Dimika knew it, but he got her drunk. Then fucked her every which way and filmed it, to show Lavrenti that she was a slut."'
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+ '"Damn! Well guess Dimika was right though if she let him film her while he fucked her."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 53:
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+ '"I heard Lena is a lesbian."'
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+ '"Well I heard it is only because Vitek has beat the shit out of every guy that has ever even looked at her.'"
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+ elseif chat_rand = 54:
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+ '"I heard Lera is a lesbian."'
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+ '"Yeah, I heard she spends most of her time going down on Lena when their alone together."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 55:
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+ '"I heard Lesco is a fag."'
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+ '"He sure looks and acts like he is gay, I believe it."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 56:
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+ '"I heard the only reason his uncle took him in, is because his mom is a whore and so strung out on drugs she left him alone for two weeks."'
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+ '"I don''t blame her, if I had a son that looked like him I would stay high all the time too."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 57:
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+ '"Oh god avoid Petia the mooch today, he smells worse than normal, does he ever bath or brush his teeth?"'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 58:
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+ '"Bet Radomir is happy his band has their first groupie, Alyona is always hanging out with them and going to all their gigs."'
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+ '"I heard she lets the whole band, including Anushka pull trains on her."'
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+ '"Dude better be careful saying that or she might stab you with that knife she always carries around."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 59:
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+ '"I seen Alyona stumbling home last night, drunk off her ass, probably fucked up on drugs too. I offered to help her and the bitch pulled a knife on me."'
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+ '"Yeah all she does anymore is get drunk, do drugs, fight and fuck. Just like her parents."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 60:
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+ '"Anushka is such a slut, I seen her giving a Radomir a hand job in class the other day and she is always making out with Alyona. I bet the whole band pulls trains on the slut every night."'
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+ '"Shh, not so loud, the last person to call her a slut, got their ass beat by a bunch of the gopniks."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 61:
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+ '"I heard Anushka is a real honest to god nympho, if she isn''t getting fucked three times a day, she isn''t happy."'
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+ '"Well I guess she doesn''t get fucked three times a day most days, cause most of the time she is a bitch to me."'
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+ '"Well offer to fuck her next time, beat she would take you up on it or beat your ass, or maybe both."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 62:
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+ '"Did you catch the fight in the park over the weekend?"'
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+ '"No who was fighting."'
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+ '"Some gopniks from the city was down acting all bad and start trying to push Ekaterina around. She beat the guys ass along with his two friends, she is one scarey bitch."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 63:
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+ '"I''ve got a riddle for you. Britney Spears had one, Katie Holmes is having one and you''ll never have one. What is it?"'
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+ '"That''s easy. A baby."'
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+ '"No, a career!"'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 64:
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+ '"I wonder how Gerasim got in that wheelchair."'
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+ '"I heard he got an infection that messed up his spine."'
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+ '"I heard his dad got drunk and ran him over."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 65:
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+ '"I can't believe you aced the homework."'
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+ '"I should have, Gerasim did it."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 66:
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+ '"I heard Lina is sucking Mr. Pavlovich''s dick."'
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+ '"I heard it was Christina."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 67:
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+ '"Yeah, Vicky climbed into my mum''s old chest and pulled the lid shut."'
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+ '"How, the hell did she get in that?"'
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+ '"How should I know, she would make a good magicians assistant."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 68:
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+ '"Hey, do you know where Christina went last Friday after PE?"'
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+ '"Yeah, she told me she was out on the athletics field with Mr Pavlovich."'
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+ '"Again? She does this every Friday now. What are they up to?"'
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+ '"I don't know. Maybe he's giving her some private training sessions or something. There's gotta be a reason she keeps winning those dashes."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 69:
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+ '"Did you notice the way Mr Pavlovich stared at the principal during the last assembly?"'
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+ '"Yeah, he seemed completely zoned out. And I think she noticed toward the end!"'
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+ '"Really? I didn't see that. How did she react?"'
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+ '"I think she... smiled at him."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 70:
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+ '"Svyatoslav is incredible. Did you see him in PE last week? It's weird he isn't part of some national team yet."'
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+ '"Yeah, well... Maybe he's pushing too hard."'
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+ '"Why do you say that?"'
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+ '"I saw Svyatoslav talk to some shady guy behind the community center yesterday. I think he was buying steroids."'
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+ '"Huh... Well, it would explain how he bulked up so much during the summer break."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 71:
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+ '"I wonder where Bella goes after class."'
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+ '"To the city."'
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+ '"What?"'
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+ '"She takes the train to the city. I saw her board it a couple of times."'
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+ '"What would she want in the city every day?"'
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+ '"I think she takes singing lessons or something."'
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+ '"With a voice like hers, she's probably gotta suck him off so he doesn't run out."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 72:
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+ '"Every time I see Avelina, I just wanna punch her."'
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+ '"Come on, she's not that bad."'
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+ '"Yes, she is. Just the way she keeps vying for Christina's attention pisses me off. She's like her lap dog."'
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+ '"Well... Christina is kinda scary."'
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+ '"Yeah, but Lina isn't scared - she worships her! I saw her and Christina after track training last week; Lina dropped to her knees and licked Christina's cunt, just because Christina said she felt 'tense'. I bet Lina would fuck somebody, if Christina ordered her to."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 73:
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+ '"I'm telling you, Julia was trying to kiss a girl!"'
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+ '"But who was it?"'
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+ '"I don't know, I couldn't see her face."'
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+ '"And how do you know it was girl?"'
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+ '"Do you see any of the guys walking around in a skirt?"'
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+ '"Alright, I believe you. And what happened next?"'
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+ '"The girl shoved her away and left."'
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+ '"Well, at least it explains why Julia keeps giving the boys the cold shoulder."'
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+ elseif chat_rand = 74:
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+ '"... I'm not saying he wasn't being a dick but... you know, everybody is sometimes."'
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+ '"I don't get it: Why do you keep defending Dan? He's one of the biggest assholes in school!"'
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+ '"Well... we used to hang out when we were younger. He was cool."'
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+ '"Dan? We're both talking about Dan Ryzhov, right?"'
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+ '"I'm telling you, he was really nice back then."'
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+ '"Well, if he was such a nice guy, what happened to him?"'
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+ '"His parents got divorced and... well, my mom heard that neither of them wanted him, so he ended up living with his uncle."'
|
|
|
+ '"Oh..."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 75:
|
|
|
+ '"Wait, are you telling me that Evgeny, nerdy chess guy Evgeny was trying to hit on that mousy girl whatsherface?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Yeah. I think she's called Zinaida or something."'
|
|
|
+ '"Who cares about her name! How did she react?"'
|
|
|
+ '"She shot him down. Just turned around and left without saying anything."'
|
|
|
+ '"Wow, that's cold."'
|
|
|
+ '"I know, right? I almost felt a little sorry for the nerd."'
|
|
|
+ end
|
|
|
+end
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+if $ARGS[0] = 'boys':
|
|
|
+ chat_rand = rand(1, 31)
|
|
|
+ if chat_rand = 1:
|
|
|
+ '"Dude, you should''ve seen me in League of Legends yesterday. I totally carried my crappy team to victory!" His friend does not seem impressed and scoffs back, "Man, I''ve seen you play before. You couldn''t carry a paper bag to the litter bin if your life depended on it."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 2:
|
|
|
+ '"Double rainbows, man... what do they even mean?"'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 3:
|
|
|
+ '"I''m going to stop getting into trouble, I got sent to the principal again yesterday and my butt''s still sore."'
|
|
|
+ '"It''s not that bad, I''ve been there."'
|
|
|
+ '"I''ve been there too much, she uses a bloody paddle on me now."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 4:
|
|
|
+ '"My uncle is a cop, he catches girls pissing in the bushes at the park all the time and lets them off with a warning if they suck him off."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 5:
|
|
|
+ '"I heard there is a glory hole in the bathrooms at the community center and sometimes some slut is there blowing guys."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 6:
|
|
|
+ '"I saw some girls naked at the lake last summer, they were off in the woods where you can''t see them from the swimming area."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 7:
|
|
|
+ '"Come play football with us after school, they sometimes have a girl who comes and sucks them all off after the game."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 8:
|
|
|
+ '"I saw some drunk girl squatting and pissing in the park last night, I could not see her face though."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 9:
|
|
|
+ '"My friend in the city said there is some chick from our school that they often pick up and take back to their hotel room, where she lets them use her as they please."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 10:
|
|
|
+ '"My uncle is a truck driver and told me that he always picks up female hitchhikers because they are willing to blow him for a free ride."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 11:
|
|
|
+ '"Miss Orlov is so fucking hot, I totally want to bang her."'
|
|
|
+ '"Get in line, she is hotter than any of the girls in school."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 12:
|
|
|
+ 'Miss Volkov is kinda hot, I mean for someone almost as old as my mom.'
|
|
|
+ '"I hear yea, she is a total MILF.'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 13:
|
|
|
+ '"Did you see the picture of Katja kissing another girl?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Katja''s a lesbian? And no let me see the picture." sharing the image on phone. "Who''s she kissing?"'
|
|
|
+ '"I don''t know, I heard it was <<$pcs_firstname>>."'
|
|
|
+ '"Fuck their both lesbians? That sucks."'
|
|
|
+ '"Well I heard Ivan fucked them both, so I think they are both bi."'
|
|
|
+ '"Sweet... lucky bastard."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 14:
|
|
|
+ '"I heard Ivan only fucks girls in the ass and they all seem to be lining up to let him do it."'
|
|
|
+ '"Wonder how he convinces them to take it? Maybe we should ask him what his secret is."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 15:
|
|
|
+ '"I heard Sokolov is a lesbian."'
|
|
|
+ '"I heard she has no interest in sex at all, some of the girls hit on her too. A real shame she is cute too."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 16:
|
|
|
+ '"Man I can''t believe all the girls let Lazar fuck them. It''s not fair, I mean what does he have that I don''t?"'
|
|
|
+ 'His friend laughs "You mean other than good looks, smarts, captain of the football team, a huge dick, money, a car, in great shape? Other than that he''s go nothing on you."'
|
|
|
+ '"Ha ha very funny, yeah ok maybe he has some stuff I don''t. But he''s also a totally asshole to the girls and I am nice to them. Being a nice guy has to count for something, right?"'
|
|
|
+ 'His friend shrugs. "Girls like bad boys, plus I think most of them secretly love being treated like the sluts they are, no matter what they tell us."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 17:
|
|
|
+ '"Vitek almost got expelled, some guy started talking to his sister Lena and he shoved him down to the ground. Which almost started a fight, but the teachers broke it up, but that guy is going to get his ass beat later when Vitek catches him off away from school."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 18:
|
|
|
+ '"It''s not fair I tell you, all the girls are just lining up to suck Radomir''s dick just because he is in a band. Yet he treats them like shit and they keep coming back for more."'
|
|
|
+ '"I hear you, but girls like assholes and he is the biggest asshole around."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 19:
|
|
|
+ '"I heard Roman and some of the others went to the city recently and as always he got in a fight."'
|
|
|
+ '"Yeah so? That''s all he does."'
|
|
|
+ '"Yeah but they say he tore the other guys eyes out."'
|
|
|
+ '"Holy shit are you serious?"'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 20:
|
|
|
+ '"Lena''s kinda hot."'
|
|
|
+ '"Are you crazy? You know what Vitek would do to you if he heard you was eying his sister?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Yeah yeah, but I bet she is so fucking horny she would let you do anything you wanted to her, It would be totally worth it."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 21:
|
|
|
+ '"Dude you missed it, the other day Anushka goes up to the teacher during class and leans over his desk to ask him a question. While she is doing it she pulls up her skirt and pulls her panties down, mooning the whole class."'
|
|
|
+ '"Damn... did you take a picture?"'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 22:
|
|
|
+ '"If I have to hear one more time about how much harder the city is and how much more bad ass everyone is and how lame Pavlovsk is one more time, I think I am going to punch Arkdi in the face."'
|
|
|
+ '"Yeah and then he will beat the shit out of you and likely stick his drum sticks up your ass for good measure, if you give him any lip."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 23:
|
|
|
+ '"Ever since I smiled at Vicky I've had Vanya glaring at me everywhere I go."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 24:
|
|
|
+ '"Did you see Bella in gym class?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Of course I did, there wasn''t a guy there who didn''t have a boner."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 25:
|
|
|
+ '"I bet Zinaida has some big ones hiding under that baggy shirt."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 26:
|
|
|
+ '"Dan."'
|
|
|
+ '"Not so loud Vasily."'
|
|
|
+ '"How much did we drink last night."'
|
|
|
+ '"Too much, why."'
|
|
|
+ '"I think we fucked Pauline."'
|
|
|
+ '"What makes you think that?"'
|
|
|
+ '"When I saw her this morning she punched me."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 27:
|
|
|
+ '"Do you remember that girl who left the disco with Dimka yesterday?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Which girl?"'
|
|
|
+ '"I don't know her name. Zina or Zinaida or something. You know, the nerd girl who usually doesn't brush her hair or go out."'
|
|
|
+ '"Oh,uh... I guess? I was kinda drunk."'
|
|
|
+ '"You don't remember anything, do you?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Oh no, I remember... She left with Dimka, sure... So?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Well, she looked weird this morning. Weirder than usual I mean."'
|
|
|
+ '"Like I-let-the-hottest-guy-in-school-pop-my-cherry weird?"'
|
|
|
+ '"No, actually, she looked like... I don't know, she kept looking at Dimka like she was scared of him."'
|
|
|
+ '"Maybe YOU are still drunk. Why would anybody be scared of Dimka?"'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 28:
|
|
|
+ '"I'm serious! That chess nerd hacked my computer!"'
|
|
|
+ '"How would he even do that?"'
|
|
|
+ '"I have no idea, but I know it was him."'
|
|
|
+ '"How can you tell?"'
|
|
|
+ '"All of my porn was gone and there was a text that said he would send it to my mom if I harassed him again."'
|
|
|
+ '"So why don't you go over there and show him what happens if he does? You're not scared of him, are you?"'
|
|
|
+ '"No, of course not!"'
|
|
|
+ '"... You're scared of your mother, aren't you?"'
|
|
|
+ '"... ... She hits a lot harder than she looks."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 29:
|
|
|
+ '"And you're sure it's her?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Absolutely, I saw her checking her ranking on her phone: Zinaida is ZindaRella2000."'
|
|
|
+ '"Wow... I never would have guessed that she's a Challenger tier League of Legends player."'
|
|
|
+ '"And that's not the only game I found her in. Counter-Strike, too. That's the amazing thing here: She doesn't look it, she is just raking in that prize money."'
|
|
|
+ '"I wouldn't be surprised if not even her family knew about it. Just look at how fucked up her parents are, and Natasha and Petia would probably mooch off of her all day. If they aren't doing it already."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 30:
|
|
|
+ '"Did you check out that picture I sent you yesterday?"'
|
|
|
+ '"No, I couldn't. My phone died and my mom hogged the charger all damn evening. Why?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Why?! Dude, it was a picture of Irina in her underwear!"'
|
|
|
+ '"WHAT?! Are you serious?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Dead serious!"'
|
|
|
+ '"How the hell did you get that?"'
|
|
|
+ '"I found it on some glamour model site. At first I thought it was just a lookalike, but it's her, I'm sure of it."'
|
|
|
+ '"Is that even legal?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Don't know and don't care. What, are you telling me you'd report her for showing off her great ass and tits in lingerie?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Hell no... Damn, I can't wait to get home and charge my phone."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 31:
|
|
|
+ '"I saw Dan yesterday, making out with a girl behind school!"'
|
|
|
+ '"So? Big deal. I'd be more surprised if he WASN'T trying to fuck somebody."'
|
|
|
+ '"You didn't ask me who the girl was..."'
|
|
|
+ '"... *sigh* ... Fine: Who was the girl?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Lena."'
|
|
|
+ '"Vitka's sister?!"'
|
|
|
+ '"Yep."'
|
|
|
+ '"Holy shit! I mean, Lena is a bit of a slut, but if Vitek finds out, he's gonna kill him."'
|
|
|
+ end
|
|
|
+end
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+if $ARGS[0] = 'girls':
|
|
|
+ chat_rand = rand(1, 30)
|
|
|
+ if chat_rand = 1:
|
|
|
+ '"I quit volleyball.'
|
|
|
+ 'Why?'
|
|
|
+ 'The coach spend the whole time at the back of the court looking at my butt, I know I shouldn''t have worn a thong, but it was a bet and I need the cash.'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 2:
|
|
|
+ '"I''m going to stop getting into trouble, I got sent to the principal again yesterday and my butt''s still sore.'
|
|
|
+ '"It''s not that bad, actually I kinda like it.'
|
|
|
+ 'Wha.. nevermind, I don''t want to know. All I know is I''ve been there so much, she uses a bloody paddle on me now.'
|
|
|
+ '"Really?" sounding excited "I mean that sounds terrible... what kind of paddle?"'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 3:
|
|
|
+ '"I was almost raped in the park the other day by a couple guys who were trying to get me to drink with them."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 4:
|
|
|
+ '"Some perv at the market tried to get me to go home with him for a free purse."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 5:
|
|
|
+ '"My mother sent me to the therapist last week, he put me under hypnosis. When I woke up I felt great, but my mouth tasted foul. I think I am allergic to hypnosis or something..."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 6:
|
|
|
+ '"I was taking a shower at the center after training and saw the volleyball coach in the girls shower room skulking around like a perv."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 7:
|
|
|
+ '"I saw Ivan training at the center the other night, he was all sweaty and I seriously thought about going up and talking to him, he is so sexy."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 8:
|
|
|
+ '"I asked Mr Ivanov for some help on my assignment and the asshole felt me up and I called him on it. He threatened to have me expelled for telling lies."'
|
|
|
+ '"I know, I was picking up my book in his class after I dropped it and he grabbed my ass, when I protested he told me the same thing."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 9:
|
|
|
+ '"If you have a secret don''t tell Lizaveta about it, I told her about blowing my boyfriend and before the day was over everyone knew about it. What a bitch."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 10:
|
|
|
+ '"Ivan is such a hottie, it is a shame he doesn''t want a girl friend. I would totally be his girlfriend, but no matter who asks he always tells them no."'
|
|
|
+ '"Maybe he''s gay?"'
|
|
|
+ 'Her friend giggles. "No he likes fucking girls but just as friends."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 11:
|
|
|
+ '"Lazar is kinda cute."'
|
|
|
+ '"Yeah and he has a huge dick. Biggest one I have ever seen, even bigger than the guys in porno''s."'
|
|
|
+ '"When did you see it?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Some of us went skinny dipping one night over the super and oh my god, it was scary big."'
|
|
|
+ '"Well no wonder so many girls go sluting it up around him. I wonder if it would hurt or feel great..."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 12:
|
|
|
+ '"Did you hear what happened to Petka?"'
|
|
|
+ '"No what?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Some of the boys grabbed him while he was in the shower and throw him out of the boys locker room naked, just as us girls where leaving. There he was completely naked, then he covers himself up and runs back into the boys locker room."'
|
|
|
+ '"Poor guy, boys can be so mean.'"
|
|
|
+ '"I know right, oh and he has a really little dick." both of the girls start giggling.'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 13:
|
|
|
+ '"Radomir is so good looking and he is so talented, I wish he would ask me out."'
|
|
|
+ '"I don''t know about that, I hear after he fucks a girl a few times he dumps her."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 14:
|
|
|
+ '"Roman has a huge dick."'
|
|
|
+ '"How would you know? Don''t tell me you... "'
|
|
|
+ '"No nothing like that, I was kneeling down tying my shoe the other day and he walked up and said while I was down there I might as well suck his dick. So I look up and he has his dick out right in my face."'
|
|
|
+ '"Oh my god what did you do?"'
|
|
|
+ '"I got away from him, he is a crazy little fucker, no telling what he might do. But it was huge, like the size of a horse."'
|
|
|
+ '"A horse? Really? Wow... huh..."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 15:
|
|
|
+ '"Did you hear Valentin has a huge dick? Like as big as my forarm."'
|
|
|
+ '"Someone else told me that, said something about a picture."'
|
|
|
+ '"Yeah my sister and her friends went to see them play and during one of the sets, some slut climbs up on stage and just pulled his dick out and started sucking it right there on stage while the band kept playing. My sister took a picture and she sent it to me, it almost didn''t fit in the sluts mouth it was so big."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 16:
|
|
|
+ '"I kinda feel sorry for Lena, she can''t date any guys, because Vitek keeps chasing them off."'
|
|
|
+ '"Yeah I think she would be a lot nicer if he would just let her date a nice guy."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 2:
|
|
|
+ '"Have you seen the way Lera looks at Lena? She is so in love in Lena."'
|
|
|
+ '"Who could miss it, what a total lesbo."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 17:
|
|
|
+ '"Did you see the picture of Petia''s little dick?" said with a giggle'
|
|
|
+ '"Who hasn''t, but why did he take it."'
|
|
|
+ '"I heard he sent it to Katja and when she got disgusted he said it was a accident"'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 18:
|
|
|
+ '"I wish Anushka would wear a towel or something in the locker room. I am tired of her constantly walking around naked."'
|
|
|
+ '"Well she is bisexual, I bet she is trying to get the other girls to look at her."'
|
|
|
+ '"I don''t know, I think she just likes being naked. She flashes her tits at tourist in the park too."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 19:
|
|
|
+ '"Anuska is a total slut."'
|
|
|
+ '"More like a nympho, I heard she cuts at least one class a day to go fuck someone in the bathrooms."'
|
|
|
+ '"Well I heard she is fucking all the gopniks even most of the girls."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 20:
|
|
|
+ '"I think Evgeny might be autistic. All he cares about is chess. During gym class all the boys were looking at me except him."'
|
|
|
+ '"Maybe he just doesn't find you attractive."'
|
|
|
+ '"That's impossible!"'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 22:
|
|
|
+ '"Will you sit with me in science tomorrow?"'
|
|
|
+ '"I don''t know, I might skip it."'
|
|
|
+ '"Please don''t last time I had to sit with Vasily and he kept telling me I should show more of my "titties."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 23:
|
|
|
+ '"Irina can be such a bitch. I asked her for some beauty tips and she told me nothing I do will make me look as good as her."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 24:
|
|
|
+ '"I keep trying to get Dimka to notice me, but he doesn't know I exist."'
|
|
|
+ '"Maybe you could go out with Igor, then he''d have to talk to you."'
|
|
|
+ '"Igor? He looks just like my sister!"'
|
|
|
+ '"Yeah, you got the looks in your family."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 25:
|
|
|
+ '"Hey sis, we need to talk."'
|
|
|
+ '"What about?"'
|
|
|
+ '"I thought I saw you kissing Vanya."'
|
|
|
+ '"Did I see you kissing your friend?"'
|
|
|
+ '"Nevermind."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 26:
|
|
|
+ '"I was in a class room last lunch time with Kotov, letting his hands wander when I turn around and Julia is sitting there. We didn't see her and she didn't say anything. Totally ruined the moment."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 27:
|
|
|
+ '"I was watching the hockey and that Svyatoslav really fills a pair of shorts."'
|
|
|
+ '"Pauline! get you mind out of the gutter, no wonder you don't have any friends."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 28:
|
|
|
+ '"I caught Artem looking at your butt during class."'
|
|
|
+ '"Artem? I thought he was gay."'
|
|
|
+ 'The girls turn to Artem who then blushes and turns away.'
|
|
|
+ '"Wow, I guess he does look at my butt."'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 29:
|
|
|
+ '"You've been giggling since the break! What's going on with you?"'
|
|
|
+ '"I accidentally walked into the boys' bathroom. *giggles*"'
|
|
|
+ '"So?"'
|
|
|
+ '"I ran into Igor while he was taking a piss. *giggles harder*"'
|
|
|
+ '"And?"'
|
|
|
+ 'The girl can't speak. She just holds up her hands, keeping them very close together and has to fight the urge to break into laughter. It dawns on the other what she's trying to tell her and she starts giggling too.'
|
|
|
+ elseif chat_rand = 30:
|
|
|
+ '"Don't you think it's weird that Fedor keeps training with Ivan without getting jealous?"'
|
|
|
+ '"A little bit. But hey, I still hang out with you, and you are much better at putting on make-up than me."'
|
|
|
+ '"That's different... Maybe Fedor is gay."'
|
|
|
+ '"Fedor? Gay? Get real."'
|
|
|
+ '"Well, what if he is? It would explain so much."'
|
|
|
+ '"You're just pissed he shot you down when you flirted with him."'
|
|
|
+ '"And why would he have done that if he wasn't gay? I'm telling you, something's wrong with him."'
|
|
|
+ end
|
|
|
+end
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+--- gschool_gossip ---------------------------------
|
|
|
+
|
KevinSmarts