Proofreading

locations/pav_disco.qsrc

@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = '':
 
 		act 'Go to the toilets': gt 'gdktoilet', 'start'
 
-		if StoryLine = 1 and SchoolAtestat = 0: 'At the disco you see a few of your <a href="exec: gt ''pav_disco_coolkids'', ''classmates''">classmates</a>. Some of them dancing, while others stick to their own groups and talk.'
+		if StoryLine = 1 and SchoolAtestat = 0: 'You see a few of your <a href="exec: gt ''pav_disco_coolkids'', ''classmates''">classmates</a>. Some of them dancing, while others stick to their own groups and talk.'
 		if soniaslut < 5: soniaslut += 1
 
 		if dimaRevenge = 7 and dimaRevChoice = 4 and dimadisco = 0: gt 'dimaRevenge', 5, 'disco'

locations/pav_disco_coolkids.qsrc

@@ -1085,7 +1085,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'Katja_dance':
 			'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/katja/katja_dance3.jpg"></center>'
 			inhib_exp += rand(1,2)
-			'Dancing with Katja, you can''t control yourself. You pull her close to you, put your hands on her boobs and bury your face in her cleavage. Katja moans slightly at your actions while the boys gather around and shout encouragements.'
+			'Dancing with Katja, you can''t control yourself. You pull her close to you, put your hands on her breasts and bury your face in her cleavage. Katja moans slightly at your actions while the boys gather around and shout encouragements.'
 			gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5, 'lesbian'
 			gs 'stat'
 		elseif dancerand = 3:
@@ -1106,7 +1106,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'Katja_dance':
 			'<center><b><font color="maroon">Disco</font></b></center>'
 			'<center><video autoplay loop src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/katja/katja_dance6.mp4"></video></center>'
 			inhib_exp += rand(1,2)
-			'You dance with Katya, paying little attention to what is happening around you, when one of the guys around you reaches out and pulls down your top, exposing your breasts for everyone to see. Continuing to dance without interruption, you pull your top back up to the disgruntled cries of the guys around you.'
+			'You dance with Katja, paying little attention to what''s happening around you when one of the guys around you reaches out and pulls down your top, exposing your breasts for everyone to see. Continuing to dance without interruption, you pull your top back up to the disgruntled cries of the guys around you.'
 			gs 'arousal', 'flashlite', 5
 			gs 'stat'
 		end
@@ -1220,7 +1220,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'sonia':
 				'She shrugs a little. "Oh you know, just hanging with my peeps, looking for a little fun." A new song starts playing and before you can respond. "OH MY GOD! I love this song, let''s dance!" she says to one of the other girls and grabs her hand before pulling them out onto the dance floor. She gives you a friendly wave before disappearing onto the dance floor.'
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			else 
-				'When you get to her she smiles to you. "Hey <<$pcs_nickname>>, what''s up?"'
+				'She smiles at you when you approach. "Hey <<$pcs_nickname>>, what''s up?"'
 				'You can''t help but smile. Her energy and happiness is infectious. "Nothing much, just came to have fun. You?"'
 				'She shrugs a little. "Oh you know, just hanging with my peeps, looking for a little fun." A new song starts playing and before you can respond. "OH MY GOD! I love this song, let''s dance!" she says to one of the other girls and grabs her hand before pulling them out onto the dance floor. She gives you a friendly wave before disappearing onto the dance floor.'
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
@@ -1274,7 +1274,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'sonia_outcast':
 		end
 	else
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big25.jpg"></center>'
-		'Sonia is standing against a wall, looking a little tired and sweaty. By the looks of things, she''s been dancing a lot already... or a lot of something else. She''s smiling and looking happy, but you catch her looking over at the cool kids and for just a moment, she looks immensely sad before some guy walks up to her and she smiles again, but quickly sends him on his way.'
+		'Sonia is standing against a wall, looking a little tired and sweaty. By the looks of things, she''s been dancing a lot already... or doing a lot of something else. She''s smiling and looking happy, but you catch her looking over at the cool kids and for just a moment, she looks immensely sad before some guy walks up to her and she smiles again, but quickly sends him on his way.'
 		act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		act 'Hang out with her':
 			*clr & cla
@@ -1327,7 +1327,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'sonia_outcast':
 					gs 'npc_relationship', 'modify', 'A25', 'like'
 					gs 'stat'
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big25.jpg"></center>'
-					'You smile to her. "Ok, lets go."'
+					'You smile at her. "Okay, let''s go."'
 					'She literally squeals with delight, causing several people to look over your direction. "That''s my slut, lets go show those losers how to really have fun." She says as she practically drags you out onto the dance floor.'
 					act 'Go dancing': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'sonia_outcast_dance'
 				end
@@ -1360,7 +1360,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'sonia_outcast_dance':
 	if npc_rel['A25'] >= 50 and hotcat >= 5:
 		'She dances with you very closely. She hoots and hollers and has a great time. She teases guys almost non-stop with how she dances, only to turn back to you again, shutting them down. She seems to really be enjoying herself dancing with you. The longer you dance, the closer she dances to you.'
 	else
-		'She dances with you, pretty closely. She hoots and woohoo''s at time, just having a great time. She teases guys almost non-stop with how she dances, only to turn back to you again, shutting them down. She seems to really be enjoying herself dancing with you.'
+		'She dances with you very closely. She hoots and hollers and has a great time. She teases guys almost non-stop with how she dances, only to turn back to you again, shutting them down. She seems to really be enjoying herself dancing with you.'
 	end
 	act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 	act 'Just keep dancing': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'sonia_outcast_dance'

locations/pav_disco_jocks.qsrc

@@ -384,7 +384,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 			if (grupeTipe = 1 or grupeTipe = 2) and npc_rel[A23] >= 70:
 				'You walk over to Albina and she gives you a smile. "<<$pcs_nickname>>, I didn''t know you were here! Come and dance with me!"'
 			elseif AlbQW['Friends'] = 2:
-				'You walk over to Albina and she couldn''t be any happier to see you. She embraces you in a tight hug and you catch a scent of what you assume is some rather expensive perfume. "Come and dance with me, <<$pcs_nickname>>. Let''s show these amateurs what real dancing actually looks like."'
+				'You walk over to Albina and she couldn''t be any happier to see you. She embraces you in a tight hug and you catch a scent of what you assume is some rather expensive perfume. "Come and dance with me, <<$pcs_nickname>>. Let''s show these amateurs what real dancing actually looks like!"'
 			else
 				'You walk over to Albina, but she scoffs and rudely dismisses you before you even get a chance to open your mouth.'
 			end
@@ -394,7 +394,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 			end
 		end
 	else
-		'Albina is sitting on one of the couches the cool kids have claimed, her smooth shapely legs crossed over as she watches other people dancing.'
+		'Albina is sitting on one of the couches the cool kids have claimed, leaning back against it with her smooth shapely legs crossed over as she watches other people dancing.'
 		act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		act 'Hang out with her':
 			*clr & cla
@@ -490,7 +490,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina_dance':
 				minut += 15
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/club_dance.jpg"></center>'
 				if npc_sex['A23'] >= 1:
-					'When the song ends, Albina looks back at you and winks. "That was hot <<$pcs_nickname>>, but I need to go and sit down for a bit and have a drink." She excuses herself and walks away with a seductive sway in her hips directed at you, leaving you standing in the middle of the dance floor.'
+					'When the song ends, Albina looks back at you and winks. "That was hot <<$pcs_nickname>>, but I need to go and sit down for a bit and have a drink." She excuses herself and walks away with a seductive sway in her hips directed at you, leaving you standing in the middle of the dance floor feeling a little flustered.'
 				else
 					'When the song ends, Albina steps off to the side. "That was fun <<$pcs_nickname>>, but I need to sit down for a bit and have a drink." She excuses herself and leaves you standing in the middle of the dance floor.'
 				end