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Text edits

Vengeance11 1 year ago
parent
commit
4b426fb8ef
3 changed files with 13 additions and 13 deletions
  1. 4 4
      locations/intro_city_m.qsrc
  2. 3 3
      locations/intro_sg_m.qsrc
  3. 6 6
      locations/intro_uni_m.qsrc

+ 4 - 4
locations/intro_city_m.qsrc

@@ -8,11 +8,11 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	*clr & cla
 	menu_off = 1
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_gadukino.jpg"></center>'
-	'After your last year of school, you had saved up enough money to get your own apartment in the city. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> convinced you to go spend the day at your grandparents farm in the village of Gadukino. There is nothing to do here but watch animals graze and help your grandparents, which does earn you some extra cash, even if it''s very tedious.'
+	'After your last year of school, you had saved up enough money to get your own apartment in the city. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> convinced you to spend the day at your grandparents farm in the village of Gadukino, but there''s nothing to do here but watch animals graze and help your grandparents, which does earn you some extra cash, even if it''s very tedious.'
 	act 'Take a walk':
 		*clr & cla
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_woods.jpg"></center>'
-		'After spending several hours visiting you decide to get away from things and have a walk through the forest, spending most of the time on your phone.'
+		'After several hours, you grow bored and decide to go for a walk through the forest, spending most of the time on your phone.'
 		'Your phone signal then drops, meaning you''ve strayed too far from the village. Looking up, you don''t recognise anything and suddenly realize that you are lost.'
 		act 'Find a way back':
 			*clr & cla
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 			act 'Take a break':
 				*clr & cla
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_tunnel_1.jpg"></center>'
-				'You sit down on a large stone in the ruins and take a breath. You''re starting to get hungry, and stomp your foot in frustration. The floor suddenly gives way and you desperately try to hold on to something, but everything in reach comes loose and falls down the hole with you. You feel slightly dazed, but after a quick check you seem to be uninjured. You seem to be in an underground chamber of some sort and looking up, you see that climbing out is not an option.' 
+				'You take a seat on a large stone in the ruins and take a breath. You''re starting to get hungry, and stomp your foot in frustration. The floor suddenly gives way and you desperately try to hold on to something, but everything in reach comes loose and falls down the hole with you. You feel slightly dazed, but after a quick check you seem to be uninjured. You seem to be in an underground chamber of some sort and looking up, you see that climbing out is not an option.' 
 				'You spot an old gate, but it''s either locked or rusted shut. The only way out seems to be the tunnel on the other side of the chamber. You pull out your phone and turn on the flashlight before heading into the tunnel.'
 				act 'Follow the tunnel':
 					*clr & cla
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 						*clr & cla
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_cave_altar.jpg"></center>'
 						'Reaching the end of the tunnel, you find a dead end. Or at least it seems so. You can see light coming through the cracks in the wall, so you do your best to knock it down. The wall crumbles and you find yourself in another chamber filled with old pottery and baubles. Opposite you is another tunnel, which hopefully leads outside. In the center of the room is an altar and on it is what seems to be centerpiece of this room; a strange amulet.'
-						act 'Examine amulet':
+						act 'Examine the amulet':
 							*clr & cla
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/item_amulet.jpg"></center>'
 							'You take the amulet in your hands and notice it''s much lighter than it looks and is unusually warm for a piece of metal. It''s shaped like an antique oil lamp and... is that a penis?' 

+ 3 - 3
locations/intro_sg_m.qsrc

@@ -8,11 +8,11 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'four':
 	*clr & cla
 	menu_off = 1
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_gadukino.jpg"></center>'
-	'After your second to last year of school, you go on summer holiday with your parents to your grandparents farm in the village of Gadukino. There is nothing to do here but watch animals graze and help your grandparents, which does earn you some extra cash, even if it''s very tedious.'
+	'After your second to last year of school, you go on summer holiday with your parents to your grandparents farm in the village of Gadukino, but there''s nothing to do here but watch animals graze and help your grandparents, which does earn you some extra cash, even if it''s very tedious.'
 	act 'Take a walk':
 		*clr & cla
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_woods.jpg"></center>'
-		'You decide to get away from things and have a walk through the forest, spending most of the time on your phone.'
+		'After several hours, you grow bored and decide to go for a walk through the forest, spending most of the time on your phone.'
 		'Your phone signal then drops, meaning you''ve strayed too far from the village. Looking up, you don''t recognise anything and suddenly realize that you are lost.'
 		act 'Find a way back':
 			*clr & cla
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'four':
 						*clr & cla
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_cave_altar.jpg"></center>'
 						'Reaching the end of the tunnel, you find a dead end. Or at least it seems so. You can see light coming through the cracks in the wall, so you do your best to knock it down. The wall crumbles and you find yourself in another chamber filled with old pottery and baubles. Opposite you is another tunnel, which hopefully leads outside. In the center of the room is an altar and on it is what seems to be centerpiece of this room; a strange amulet.'
-						act 'Examine amulet':
+						act 'Examine the amulet':
 							*clr & cla
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/item_amulet.jpg"></center>'
 							'You take the amulet in your hands and notice it''s much lighter than it looks and is unusually warm for a piece of metal. It''s shaped like an antique oil lamp and... is that a penis?' 

+ 6 - 6
locations/intro_uni_m.qsrc

@@ -7,12 +7,12 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	*clr & cla
 	menu_off = 1
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_gadukino.jpg"></center>'
-	'After your last year of school, your grades where good enough you could get into the University which is about to start. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> convinced you to go spend the day at your grandparents farm in the village of Gadukino. There is nothing to do here but watch animals graze and help your grandparents, which does earn you some extra cash, even if it''s very tedious.'
+	'After your last year of school, your grades were good enough for you to get into university. Your <<$npc_nickname[''A29'']>> convinced you to spend the day at your grandparents farm in the village of Gadukino, but there''s nothing to do here but watch animals graze and help your grandparents, which does earn you some extra cash, even if it''s very tedious.'
 	act 'Take a walk':
 		*clr & cla
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_woods.jpg"></center>'
-		'After spending several hours visiting you decide to get away from things and have a walk through the forest, spending most of the time on your phone.'
-		'Your phone signal then drops, meaning you''ve strayed too far from the village. Looking up, you don''t recognise anything and suddenly realize that you are lost.'
+		'After several hours, you grow bored and decide to go for a walk through the forest, spending most of the time on your phone.'
+		'Your phone signal then drops, meaning you''ve strayed too far from the village. Looking up, you don''t recognise anything and suddenly realize that you''re lost.'
 		act 'Find a way back':
 			*clr & cla
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_ruin.jpg"></center>'
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 			act 'Take a break':
 				*clr & cla
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_tunnel_1.jpg"></center>'
-				'You sit down on a large stone in the ruins and take a breath. You''re starting to get hungry, and stomp your foot in frustration. The floor suddenly gives way and you desperately try to hold on to something, but everything in reach comes loose and falls down the hole with you. You feel slightly dazed, but after a quick check you seem to be uninjured. You seem to be in an underground chamber of some sort and looking up, you see that climbing out is not an option.' 
+				'You take a seat on a large stone in the ruins and take a breath. You''re starting to get hungry, and stomp your foot in frustration. The floor suddenly gives way and you desperately try to hold on to something, but everything in reach comes loose and falls down the hole with you. You feel slightly dazed, but after a quick check you seem to be uninjured. You seem to be in an underground chamber of some sort and looking up, you see that climbing out is not an option.' 
 				'You spot an old gate, but it''s either locked or rusted shut. The only way out seems to be the tunnel on the other side of the chamber. You pull out your phone and turn on the flashlight before heading into the tunnel.'
 				act 'Follow the tunnel':
 					*clr & cla
@@ -29,8 +29,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 					act 'Further':
 						*clr & cla
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/site_cave_altar.jpg"></center>'
-						'Reaching the end of the tunnel, you find a dead end. Or at least it seems so. You can see light coming through the cracks in the wall, so you do your best to knock it down. The wall crumbles and you find yourself in another chamber filled with old pottery and baubles. Opposite you is another tunnel, which hopefully leads outside. In the center of the room is an altar and on it is what seems to be centerpiece of this room; a strange amulet.'
-						act 'Examine amulet':
+						'Reaching the end of the tunnel, you find a dead end. Or at least it seems so. You can see light coming through the cracks in the wall, so you do your best to knock it down. The wall crumbles and you find yourself in another chamber filled with old pottery and baubles. Opposite you is another tunnel, which hopefully leads outside. In the center of the room is an altar and on it is what seems to be the centerpiece of the room; a strange amulet.'
+						act 'Examine the amulet':
 							*clr & cla
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/system/1_openings/shared/item_amulet.jpg"></center>'
 							'You take the amulet in your hands and notice it''s much lighter than it looks and is unusually warm for a piece of metal. It''s shaped like an antique oil lamp and... is that a penis?'