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Pārlūkot izejas kodu

Proofreading and fixes

Vengeance11 2 gadi atpakaļ
vecāks
revīzija
74e07b22c6
2 mainītis faili ar 54 papildinājumiem un 54 dzēšanām
  1. 49 49
      locations/pav_disco_coolkids.qsrc
  2. 5 5
      locations/pav_disco_jocks.qsrc

+ 49 - 49
locations/pav_disco_coolkids.qsrc

@@ -287,27 +287,27 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka':
 	gs 'stat'
 	if rand(1,4) = 1:
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/school_kids/dimka_dance.jpg"></center>'
-		'You see Dimka out on the dance floor. He is dressed very stylishly and he dances very well. He is in the middle of a small crowd of of people, mostly girls.'
+		'You see Dimka out on the dance floor. He is dressed very stylishly and dances very well. He''s in the middle of a small crowd of of people, mostly girls.'
 		act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		act 'Go out on the dance floor':
 			*clr & cla
 			gs 'stat'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/school_kids/dimka_dance.jpg"></center>'
 			if grupTipe = 5
-				'He just completely ignores you and when you get close he turns so his back is towards you shunning you.'
+				'He ignores you and turns his back on you as you approach, shunning you.'
 			elseif npc_rel['A1'] >= 50 and fame['pav_slut'] < 250:
 				if grupTipe = 1:
-					'When Dimka sees you, he smiles warmly, making room for you in the group made up of some of the cool kids and a few others you don''t recognize, dancing out of the dance floor. When you get to him, he says. "Just the person I was hoping to see!" Dimka then starts dancing with everyone around him including you a bit.'
+					'When Dimka sees you, he smiles warmly, making room for you in the group made up of some of the cool kids and a few others you don''t recognize. "Just the person I was hoping to see!" he says as you walk up and starts dancing with everyone around him, including you.'
 				else
-					'When Dimka sees you, he smiles warmly, making room for you in the group made up of some of the cool kids and a few others you don''t recognize, dancing out of the dance floor. When you get to him, he says. Some of them give you an odd look, obviously not sure why you''re here since you''re not part of their clique, but Dimka makes you feel welcome. "Relax, she doesn''t have the plague." he playfully chides everyone and soon you are dancing with the rest.'
+					'When Dimka sees you, he smiles warmly, making room for you in the group made up of some of the cool kids and a few others you don''t recognize. Some of them give you an odd look, obviously not sure why you''re here since you''re not part of their clique, but Dimka makes you feel welcome. "Relax, she doesn''t have the plague." he playfully chides and you are soon dancing with the group.'
 					act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 					act 'Dance with him': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'dimka_dance'
 				end
 			elseif npc_rel['A1'] <= 20 or fame['pav_slut'] >= 250:
-				'He just completely ignores you and when you get close he turns so his back is towards you shunning you.'
+				'"Nobody wants you here, whore. At least not yet. You might have a dick or two to suck later though." he says mockingly before turning his back and shunning you.'
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			else 
-				'When Dimka sees you, he just smiles and keeps dancing. He doesn''t seem to mind you dancing next to him, but he dances with everyone around him.'
+				'When Dimka sees you, he just smiles and keeps dancing. He doesn''t seem to mind you dancing next to him, but he doesn''t talk to you and instead focuses on the others.'
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 				act 'Dance with him': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'dimka_dance'
 			end
@@ -316,7 +316,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka':
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big1.jpg"></center>'
 		'You see Dimka sitting at a table near the dance floor. He is dressed very stylishly and is in the middle of a small crowd of of people, mostly girls.'
 		if dimka_debt > 0:
-			'As you walk up the first thing Dimka does is grab you by the arm and drag you a few feet away so no one can hear what he says to you. "Do you have my money?"'
+			'The first thing Dimka does as you walk up is grab you by the arm and drag you aside so no one can hear him. "Do you have my money?"'
 			if money >= dimka_debt:
 				act 'Pay your debt':
 					*clr & cla
@@ -331,7 +331,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka':
 			else
 				cla
 				'You bite your lower lip nervously and look down as you shake your head. "No, just give me a little more time and I will have it. Please?" you beg him.'
-				'He sighs. "I like you <<$pcs_nickname>>, I do. But I can''t just let you slide. How about you pay me a little interest and you can pay me later?" The way he says it leaves no doubt exactly what he considers <i>interest</i> and it isn''t money.'
+				'He sighs. "I like you <<$pcs_nickname>>, I do. But I can''t just let you slide. How about you pay me a little interest and you can pay me later?" The way he says it leaves no doubt exactly what he considers <i>interest</i>.'
 				gs 'willpower', 'sex', 'resist'
 				if will_cost <= pcs_willpwr:
 					act 'Refuse (<<will_cost>> Willpower)':
@@ -345,13 +345,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka':
 			end
 			
 		elseif grupTipe = 5:
-			'When you get near him, he glances at some of the other cool kids and then back to you. "You get lost loser?." He looks you over and shakes his head. "Where did you get those clothes? Do you even know how to dress yourself?" Several of the others around laugh at his comment. "Go away, you are killing the mood, loser."'
+			'When you get near him, he glances at some of the other cool kids and then back to you. "You get lost loser?" He looks you over and shakes his head. "Where did you get those clothes? Do you even know how to dress yourself?" Several of the others laugh at his comment. "Go away, you''re killing the mood, loser."'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		elseif npc_rel['A1'] >= 50 and fame['pav_slut'] < 200:
 			if grupTipe = 1:
 				'"Just the person I was hoping to see!" Dimka smiles. "Take a look at this." He pulls out his phone and shows you some photos from his latest trip to Moscow. "You would have loved it out there. It really made me realize we''re wasting away out here in a place like this." You then mostly talk about the other places he has visited.'
 			else
-				'Dimka greets you with a friendly smile, making room for you in the group made up of some of the cool kids and a few others you don''t recognize. Some of them give you an odd look, obviously not sure why you''re here since you''re not part of their clique, but Dimka makes you feel welcome. "Relax, she doesn''t have the plague." he playfully chides everyone and soon you are engaged in a conversation with Dimka.'
+				'Dimka greets you with a friendly smile, making room for you in the group made up of some of the cool kids and a few others you don''t recognize. Some of them give you an odd look, obviously not sure why you''re here since you''re not part of their clique, but Dimka makes you feel welcome. "Relax, she doesn''t have the plague." he playfully chides everyone and you are soon engaged in a conversation with Dimka.'
 			end
 			if dimarudorient = 1:act 'Ask for some pale lady': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'dim_drugs'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
@@ -361,8 +361,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka':
 				'You can''t help but scoff and roll your eyes. "Who said I want to be friends? You just looked lonely standing over here by yourself. I was just trying to be nice." You trade a few more barbs back and forth.'
 			else
 				'Dimka looks down at you with a condescending smile. "What do you want?" he asks, maintaining his "friendly" appearance in front of everyone.'
-				'"I just wanted to say hi is all" you reply'
-				'He looks around like this is a common burden. "Of course you did, everyone does." You talk to him a bit but he acts like he is barely tolerating you, like a Tsar might a peasant in his court.'
+				'"I just wanted to say hi is all..." you reply'
+				'He looks around like this is a common burden. "Of course you did, everyone does." You try talking to him, but he acts like he is barely tolerating you, like a Tsar might a peasant in his court.'
 			end
 			if dimarudorient = 1:act 'Ask for some pale lady': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'dim_drugs'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
@@ -370,12 +370,12 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka':
 			'Dimka sees you approaching and gives you a blank look, his gaze cold and unblinking. "Do you really think I would talk to a whore like you?" he dryly states. He continues to stare you down until you finally leave.'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		elseif (dimaRevenge = 6 and (dimaRevChoice = 3 or dimaRevChoice = 5 or dimaRevChoice = 6)) or (dimaRevenge = 7 and dimaRevChoice = 2) or (dimaRevenge = 8 and (dimaRevChoice = 1 or dimaRevChoice = 4)):
-			'As you walk up he glares at you. "What the fuck do you want slut?"'
-			'You sigh a bit. "Look I know a lot has happened between us, but I thought we could leave it in the past and just be friends or something."'
-			'He gets a odd look on his face then shrugs. "Whatever." The two of you make a little small talk, but you get the feeling he is planning something.'
+			'Dimka glares at you as you approach. "What the fuck do you want, slut?"'
+			'You sigh. "Look, I know a lot has happened between us, but I thought we could leave it in the past and just be friends or something?"'
+			'He looks a little dumbfounded, but shrugs. "Whatever." The two of you make a little small talk, but you get the feeling he is planning something.'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		else
-			'Dimka is willing to entertain you for a bit, occasionally taking part in the conversation but letting you do most of the talking. Then someone calls over to him and he smiles and waves back to them. "Sorry, I hope you don''t mind." He starts to head towards them, you could ask him something real quick or just let him go.'
+			'Dimka is willing to entertain you for a bit, occasionally taking part in the conversation but letting you do most of the talking before someone calls over to him and he smiles and waves back to them. "Sorry, I hope you don''t mind." He starts heading towards them - you could quickly ask him something or just let him go.'
 			if dimarudorient = 1: act 'Ask for some pale lady': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'dim_drugs'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			act 'Ask him to dance':
@@ -408,13 +408,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka_dance':
 			*clr & cla
 			minut += 15
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/club_dance1.jpg"></center>'
-			'The two of you dance energetically, really getting into the beat of the song. You are having a lot of fun dancing with Dimka, you think he is having a lot of fun dancing with you as well.'
+			'The two of you dance energetically, really getting into the beat of the music. You''re having a lot of fun dancing with Dimka and you think he''s having fun dancing with you too.'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			act 'Keep dancing':
 				*clr & cla
 				minut += 15
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/club_dance2.jpg"></center>'
-				'He pulls you in close and you are soon dancing with your face only a few inches from his. You feel his hand slide down your back to just above your butt as you keep dancing together. Then a girl comes over and asks him to dance, she is very pretty. He looks her over and grins then looks back to you. "Sorry but I think it is this lovely ladies turn." Then he turns and starts dancing with her, leaving you to walk off the dance floor.'
+				'He pulls you in close and you are soon dancing with your face only a few inches from his. You feel his hand slide down your back to just above your ass as you keep dancing together before a girl comes over and asks him to dance. She is very pretty and he looks her over and grins before looking back to you. "Sorry, but I think it''s this lovely lady''s turn." He turns and starts dancing with her, leaving you to walk off the dance floor.'
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			end
 		end
@@ -424,11 +424,11 @@ end
 if $ARGS[0] = 'dim_drugs':
 	*clr & cla
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big1.jpg"></center>'
-	'You don''t want to but the you feel miserable and everything hurts. You crave the rush that you''ve come to enjoy so much'
+	'You don''t want to, but you feel miserable and everything hurts. You crave the rush that you''ve come to enjoy so much'
 	'"Please Dimka, can I have some pale lady?"'
-	'He smiles at you with a smug knowing smile. "Sure do you have any money?"'
+	'He smiles at you with a smug grin. "Sure. Do you have any money?"'
 	if money >= 420:
-		act 'Change your mind': gt 'gschool_lessons', 'short_break'
+		act 'Change your mind': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		if money >= 420: act 'Buy enough for 1 lines (420 <b>₽</b>)': palelady = 1 & gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'dimka_pay'
 		if money >= 840: act 'Buy enough for 2 lines (840 <b>₽</b>)': palelady = 2 & gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'dimka_pay'
 		if money >= 1680: act 'Buy enough for 5 lines (1680 <b>₽</b>)': palelady = 5 & gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'dimka_pay'
@@ -437,7 +437,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dim_drugs':
 		*nl
 		'You bite your lower lip nervously and look down as you shake your head. "No, but please can you just give me some now and I can pay you back later?" you beg him.'
 		'Dimka grins. "Sure, why don''t we go somewhere quieter? You make me happy and I will make you happy. You can pay me back later."'
-		'Resolved to do anything to make the pain go away and feel happy again, you mentally sigh and follow him'
+		'Resolved to do anything to make the pain go away and feel happy again, you mentally sigh and follow him.'
 		act 'Change your mind': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		act 'Go with Dimka': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'dimka_sex'
 	end
@@ -452,11 +452,11 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka_pay':
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/shared/drugs/cocainebag.jpg"></center>'
 	'You nod your head and dig in your purse, pulling out the money and quickly handing it to him. He takes his time slowly counting it out, which seems like an eternity before he finally hands over a small baggy. You snatch it from him and then quickly leave.'
 	act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
-	act 'Go do a line':
+	act 'Do a line':
 		*clr & cla
 		gs 'drugs', 'cocaine'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/shared/drugs/lineschool.jpg"></center>'
-		'You leave the disco and walk down the hall, looking into rooms until you spot one that is empty, that is unlocked. You glance around and when no one is looking, you duck inside and rush over to a table. You pour out a line and snort it up quickly. You feel the sensation of relief and pleasure rush through your body. You spend a few moments in a stupor before heading back to the disco.'
+		'You leave the disco and walk down the hall, looking into rooms until you spot one that''s unlocked and empty. You glance around and when no one is looking, you duck inside and rush over to a table. You pour out a line and quickly snort it, immediately feeling the sensation of relief and pleasure rushing through your body. You spend a few moments in a stupor before heading back to the disco.'
 		act 'Go back to the disco': gt 'pav_disco'
 	end
 end
@@ -464,8 +464,8 @@ end
 if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka_sex':
 	*clr & cla
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/boy/dimka/sex/school/dimbj1.jpg"></center>'
-	'He leads you down the hall and finally stops at one of the other rooms. He opens the door and steps in, closing the door after you enter. Once inside, he pushes you up again the wall next to the door. He leans in close so his face is only a few inches from yours and says "Get on your knees bitch."'
-	'You obey him and slowly sink down to your knees. You don''t have to be told what to do next. You reach up and start undoing his pants.'
+	'He leads you down the hall and finally stops at one of the other rooms. He opens the door and steps in, closing the door after you enter. Once inside, he pushes you up again the wall and leans in close so his face is only a few inches from yours. "Get on your knees, bitch."'
+	'You obey him and slowly sink to your knees. You don''t have to be told what to do next. You reach up and start undoing his pants.'
 	act 'Get him hard':
 		*clr & cla
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/boy/dimka/sex/school/dimbj2.jpg"></center>'
@@ -476,7 +476,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka_sex':
 			*clr & cla
 			gs 'boyStat', 'A1'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/boy/dimka/sex/school/dimbj3.jpg"></center>'
-			'With his cock nice and hard, you open your mouth and take his <<dick>>cm <<$dick_girth>> dick in your mouth. You wrap your lips around his shaft and start bobbing your head back and forth on his dick. You look up at him to make sure he is enjoying it.'
+			'Once he''s hard, you open your mouth and take his <<dick>>cm <<$dick_girth>> dick into your mouth. You wrap your lips around his shaft and start bobbing your head back and forth on his dick. You look up at him to make sure he is enjoying it.'
 			gs 'arousal', 'bj', 5, 'sub'
 			gs 'stat'
 			act 'Keep sucking':
@@ -488,25 +488,25 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'dimka_sex':
 				act 'Finish him':
 					*clr & cla
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/boy/dimka/sex/school/dimbj5.jpg"></center>'
-					'While you are sucking his dick, he reaches down and starts stroking his dick himself, before pulling it out of your mouth. After a couple more strokes, spurts of his cum start landing on your face and running down your neck. Once the last spurt lands on you, he sticks his dick back in your mouth and says "Suck me clean slut." You suck the cum off his dick and the last few drops out of him.'
+					'While you are sucking his dick, he reaches down and starts stroking it himself before pulling it out of your mouth. After a few strokes, spurts of his cum start landing on your face and running down your neck. Once the last spurt lands on you, he shoves his dick back in your mouth "Suck me clean slut!" You suck the cum off his dick and the last few drops out of him.'
 					*nl
 					gs 'cum_call', 'face', 'A1'
 					gs 'arousal', 'bj', 2, 'sub'
 					gs 'arousal', 'end'
 					gs 'stat'
 					if dimka_debt > 0:
-						'He puts his dick away and buttons up his pants. "I want my money by next week." Then he walks out, leaving you to get cleaned up on your own.'
+						'He puts his dick away and buttons up his pants. "I want my money by next week." he growls before walking out, leaving you to get cleaned up on your own.'
 						act 'Go back to the disco': gt 'pav_disco'
 					else
 						dur += 1
 						dimka_debt += 2000
-						'He puts his dick away and buttons up his pants. "I want my money by next week." He tosses a small baggy of white power on the floor by your knees as he walks out, leaving you to get cleaned up on your own. Not even thinking about the cum on your face, you quickly snatch up the baggy.'
+						'He puts his dick away and buttons up his pants. "I want my money by next week." he growls before tossing a small baggy of white power on the floor as he walks out, leaving you to get cleaned up on your own. Not even thinking about the cum on your face, you quickly snatch up the baggy.'
 						act 'Go back to the disco': gt 'pav_disco'
-						act 'Go do a line':
+						act 'Do a line':
 							*clr & cla
 							gs 'drugs', 'cocaine'
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/shared/drugs/lineschool.jpg"></center>'
-							'You get up and rush over to a table. You pour out a line and snort it up quickly. You feel the sensation of relief and pleasure rush through your body. You spend a few moments in a stupor before heading back to the disco.'
+							'You get up and rush over to a table. You pour out a line and quickly snort it, immediately feeling the sensation of relief and pleasure rushing through your body. You spend a few moments in a stupor before heading back to the disco.'
 							act 'Go back to the disco': gt 'pav_disco'
 						end
 					end
@@ -543,7 +543,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'marcus':
 					act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 				end
 			elseif fame['pav_slut'] >= 250:
-				'When he see''s you heading his direction, he moves away and starts dancing with another girl on the dance floor.'
+				'When he sees you heading in his direction, he moves away and starts dancing with another girl on the dance floor.'
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			else 
 				'When you get near him, he smiles but then turns and starts dancing with another girl on the dance floor that seems interested in him, completely ignoring you.'
@@ -562,7 +562,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'marcus':
 				'You enjoy hearing the stories Marcus tells you about his life in America. "It''s kind of funny, I don''t think I was nearly as popular as this back home. I''m not complaining though!"'
 				'You spend the some more time asking more questions about his home life and he''s happy to tell you all about it.'
 				if hotcat >= 5:
-					'Just when it seems like you''ve run out of small talks he says "Hey, want to go dance?"'
+					'Just when it seems like you''ve run out of small talks he says "Hey, want to dance?"'
 					act 'No':
 						*clr & cla
 						gs 'stat'
@@ -586,7 +586,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'marcus':
 					'"Do I know you?" Marcus asks when you try to strike up a conversation.'
 					'"Uhh... I would think so? We run in the same social circle..." you reply, but he just shrugs.'
 				else
-					'You try to strike up a conversation with Marcus, but he just ignores you for the most part and continues talking to some of the other kids.'
+					'You try to strike up a conversation with Marcus, but he just ignores you and continues talking to some of the other kids.'
 				end
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			elseif fame['pav_slut'] >= 250:
@@ -891,7 +891,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'mefodiy':
 					act 'Go dancing': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'mefodiy_dance'
 				end
 			end
-			act 'Ask him why he never has a girlfriend':
+			act 'Ask why he never has a girlfriend':
 				*clr & cla
 				minut += 15
 				gs 'stat'
@@ -905,7 +905,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'mefodiy':
 					act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 				end
 			end
-			act 'Ask him why he hates the gopniks':
+			act 'Ask why he hates the gopniks':
 				*clr & cla
 				minut += 15
 				gs 'stat'
@@ -1614,24 +1614,24 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'natasha':
 	gs 'stat'
 	if rand(1,4) >= 3:
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/school_kids/natasha_dance.jpg"></center>'
-		'You see Natasha out on the dance floor. She is dressed in a nice dress but it pales in comparison to what the cool girls are wearing, she does dance fairly well.'
+		'You see Natasha out on the dance floor. She''s wearing a somewhat nice dress, but it pales in comparison to what the other girls are wearing. She does dance fairly well though.'
 		act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		act 'Go out on the dance floor':
 			*clr & cla
 			gs 'stat'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/school_kids/dimka_dance.jpg"></center>'
 			if grupTipe = 5
-				'When you get near her, she gets a panicked look and then suddenly gets up and walks off.'
+				'When you get near her, she gets a panicked look on her face and walks away.'
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			elseif npc_rel['A16'] >= 50 and fame['pav_slut'] < 200:
-				'When Natasha sees you, she smiles warmly, waving you over. "Come dance with me."'
+				'When Natasha sees you, she smiles warmly, waving you over. "Come dance with me, <<$pcs_nickname>>."'
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 				act 'Dance with her': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'natasha_dance'
 			elseif npc_rel['A16'] <= 20 or fame['pav_slut'] >= 200:
 				if grupTipe = 3:
-					'Natasha isn''t really interested in dancing with you, but you persist in trying to dance with her. "Hey, I''ve gotta go… do this thing. I guess I''ll see you later?" she says halfheartedly.'
+					'Natasha isn''t really interested in dancing with you, but you persist in trying. "Hey, I''ve gotta go... do this thing. I guess I''ll see you later?" she says halfheartedly before walking away.'
 				else
-					'"Why are you even trying to dance with me? It''s not like we''re in the same social circle or something." Natasha says with a suspicious look. "So, if you could just" She drags the last part out, expecting you to catch her drift and leave.'
+					'"Why are you even trying to dance with me? It''s not like we''re in the same social circle or something." Natasha says with a suspicious look. "So, if you could just..." She drags the last part out, expecting you to catch her drift and leave.'
 				end
 				act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			else 
@@ -1642,15 +1642,15 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'natasha':
 		end
 	else
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big16.jpg"></center>'
-		'You see Natasha sitting at a table near the cool kids. She is dressed in a fairly nice dress but it pales in comparison to what the cool girls are wearing.'
+		'You see Natasha sitting at a table near the cool kids. She''s wearing a fairly nice dress, but it pales in comparison to what the other girls are wearing.'
 		if grupTipe = 5:
-			'When you get near her, she gets a panicked look and then suddenly gets up and walks off.'
+			'When you get near her, she gets a panicked look on her face before she suddenly gets up and walks away.'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		elseif npc_rel['A16'] >= 50 and fame['pav_slut'] < 200:
 			if grupTipe = 3:
-				'"Hey <<$pcs_nickname>>! Have you seen this new makeup line coming out? It''s expensive but I looove the colors!" Natasha says as she holds up the magazine ad for said makeup. She talks about how she can''t afford nice things like this and this ends up bringing her down. You quickly change the subject and start complimenting her on her sense of style and grades and reminding her she''s a top student in school, which brings a smile to her face.'
+				'"Hey <<$pcs_nickname>>! Have you seen this new makeup line coming out? It''s expensive, but I looove the colors!" Natasha says as she holds up the magazine ad for said makeup. She talks about how she can''t afford nice things like this and this ends up bringing her down. You quickly change the subject and start complimenting her on her sense of style and grades and reminding her she''s a top student in school, which brings a smile to her face.'
 			else
-				'Natasha greets you with a smile as you sit down beside her. The conversation is lighthearted as you talk about your day so far and what goes on in the apartment complex where you both live.'
+				'Natasha greets you with a smile as you sit down beside her. The conversation is lighthearted as you talk about your day and what goes on in the apartment complex where you both live.'
 			end
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			act 'Ask her to dance':
@@ -1665,16 +1665,16 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'natasha':
 			end
 		elseif npc_rel['A16'] <= 20 and fame['pav_slut'] < 200:
 			if grupTipe = 3:
-				'Natasha isn''t really interested in talking to you, but you persist in trying to keep up a conversation. "Hey, I''ve gotta go do this thing. I guess I''ll see you later?" she says halfheartedly.'
+				'Natasha isn''t really interested in talking to you, but you persist in trying to keep up a conversation. "Hey, I''ve gotta go... do this thing. I guess I''ll see you later?" she says halfheartedly before walking away.'
 			else
-				'"Why are you even talking to me? It''s not like we''re in the same social circle or something." Natasha says with a suspicious look. "So, if you could just" She drags the last part out, expecting you to catch her drift and leave.'
+				'"Why are you even talking to me? It''s not like we''re in the same social circle or something." Natasha says with a suspicious look. "So, if you could just..." She drags the last part out, expecting you to catch her drift and leave.'
 			end
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		elseif fame['pav_slut'] >= 200:
 			'When she sees you walking over, she gives you a disgusted look. "Get away from me you disgusting slut." she says as she moves away from you.'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 		else
-			'You strike up a conversation with Natasha. She seems a bit hesitant at first, but quickly engages you in some idle chatter about the varies other students in school and what has been going on in Pavlovsk of late.'
+			'You strike up a conversation with Natasha. She seems a bit hesitant at first, but quickly engages you in some idle chatter about the other students in school and what''s been going on in Pavlovsk of late.'
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
 			act 'Ask her to dance':
 				*clr & cla

+ 5 - 5
locations/pav_disco_jocks.qsrc

@@ -384,7 +384,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 		act 'Go out on the dance floor':
 			*clr & cla
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/community/disco/club.jpg"></center>'
-			if (grupeTipe = 1 or grupeTipe = 2) and npc_rel[A23] >= 70:
+			if (grupeTipe = 1 or grupeTipe = 2) and npc_rel['A23'] >= 70:
 				'You walk over to Albina and she gives you a smile. "<<$pcs_nickname>>, I didn''t know you were here! Come and dance with me!"'
 			elseif AlbinaQW['Friends'] = 2:
 				'You walk over to Albina and she couldn''t be any happier to see you. She embraces you in a tight hug and you catch a scent of what you assume is some rather expensive perfume. "Come and dance with me, <<$pcs_nickname>>. Let''s show these amateurs what real dancing actually looks like!"'
@@ -392,7 +392,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 				'You walk over to Albina, but she scoffs and rudely dismisses you before you even get a chance to open your mouth.'
 			end
 			act 'Do something else': gt 'pav_disco_coolkids', 'classmates'
-			if (grupeTipe = 1 or grupeTipe = 2) and npc_rel[A23] >= 70 or AlbinaQW['Friends'] = 2:
+			if (grupeTipe = 1 or grupeTipe = 2) and npc_rel['A23'] >= 70 or AlbinaQW['Friends'] = 2:
 				act 'Dance with her': gt 'pav_disco_jocks', 'albina_dance'
 			end
 		end
@@ -405,7 +405,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 			gs 'stat'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big23.jpg"></center>'
 			if grupTipe = 5:
-				'Albina just laughs loudly as you approach her. "Why are <i>you</i> here? Go hang out with the other losers somewhere else." she taunts before moving away and dancing with her friends.'
+				'Albina just laughs loudly as you approach her. "Why are <i>you</i> here? Go hang out with the other losers somewhere else." she taunts before getting up and going to dance with her friends.'
 			elseif (grupeTipe = 1 or grupeTipe = 2) and npc_rel['A23'] >= 70 or AlbinaQW['Friends'] = 2:	
 				'"What''s up Albina?" you ask as you approach and take a seat next to her.'
 				'She smiles at you. "Oh you know, just letting my hair down and having some fun. What about you?"'
@@ -419,7 +419,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 				end
 			elseif fame['pav_slut'] >= 250:
 				'Albina seems a little surprised at your presence. "Why are <i>you</i> here? Do you enjoy all the boys wanting a piece of you like you''re just some fuck toy to them?"'
-				'Before you can react, Albina stands up and waves you aside before walking away. "You know what, I don''t fucking care. I''m sure you''ll find plenty of dicks to suck here, so why don''t you go find one or two?"'
+				'Before you can react, Albina stands up and waves you aside before walking away. "You know what, I don''t fucking care. I''m sure you''ll find plenty of dicks to suck here, so why don''t you go and find one or two?"'
 				'You could clearly hear the disappointment in her voice, but you think she also felt pity towards you at the same time.'
 			else 
 				'"Hey Albina, what''s up?" you ask as you approach.'
@@ -431,7 +431,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 				minut += 15
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/headshots_main/big23.jpg"></center>'
 				if (grupeTipe = 1 or grupeTipe = 2) and npc_rel['A23'] >= 70 or AlbinaQW['Friends'] = 2:
-				  'Albina smiles and accepts your offer to dance. She gets and grabs your hand before leading you out to the dance floor.'
+				  'Albina smiles and accepts your offer to dance. She gets up and grabs your hand before leading you out to the dance floor.'
 					act 'Go dancing': gt 'pav_disco_jocks', 'albina_dance'
 				else
 					'Albina looks you over with a hint of contempt on her face before standing up and going to dance with her friends.'