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[text edit] clean up shop_dolls

Spackled Lanturn 3 anni fa
parent
commit
78c8bd05ee
1 ha cambiato i file con 13 aggiunte e 13 eliminazioni
  1. 13 13
      locations/shop_dolls.qsrc

+ 13 - 13
locations/shop_dolls.qsrc

@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/island/dolls/dolls.jpg"></center>'
 	''
-	'The store has a small front on a side street but one glance is all you need to tell this is not your average clothing store. Inside the store, shelves and racks of alternative clothes crammed into every available space - anybody setting out to find an inch of wall would have their work cut out for them. The checkout counter is near the entrance.'
+	'The store has a small front on a side street, but one glance is all you need to tell this is not your average clothing store. Inside the store, shelves and racks of alternative clothes are crammed into every available space - anybody setting out to find an inch of wall would have their work cut out for them. The checkout counter is near the entrance.'
 	if doll_staff_day ! daystart:
 		if rand(0,1) = 0:
 			doll_staff = 0
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'browse':
 	'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/island/dolls/dollsshop.jpg"></center>'
 	''
-	'The store has a small front on a side street but one glance is all you need to tell this is not your average clothing store. Inside the store, shelves and racks of alternative clothes crammed into every available space - anybody setting out to find an inch of wall would have their work cut out for them. The checkout counter is near the entrance.'
+	'The store has a small front on a side street, but one glance is all you need to tell this is not your average clothing store. Inside the store, shelves and racks of alternative clothes are crammed into every available space - anybody setting out to find an inch of wall would have their work cut out for them. The checkout counter is near the entrance.'
 
 	act 'View dresses':gt 'shop_dolls', 'dress'
 	act 'View other outfits':gt 'shop_dolls', 'clothing'
@@ -233,7 +233,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'savva':
 	'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/savva/savva.jpg"></center>'
 	if know_Savva = 0:
-		'At the counter you see a young man; he looks about your sister''s age but he has a shy, quiet, almost girlish quality about him. As you approach the counter, he quietly asks if you need help, so softly you can barely hear him. "Can I help you?"'
+		'At the counter, you see a young man; he looks about your sister''s age, but he has a shy, quiet, almost girlish quality about him. As you approach the counter, he quietly asks, so softly you can barely hear him, "Can I help you?"'
 	else
 		'Savva is working the counter today. As you walk up, he gives you a friendly smile. "Hey <<$pcs_nickname>>, nice to see you again. What can I help you with?"'
 	end
@@ -242,7 +242,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'savva':
 		npc_rel['A204'] += 2
 		'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/savva/savva.jpg"></center>'
-		'You ask him about the shop. He tells you it opened a few years ago and they mostly cater to the college kids. Occasionally they get hassled by the local gopniks or police, but he likes the job. Then asks if you need help finding an outfit.'
+		'You ask him about the shop. He tells you it opened a few years ago and they mostly cater to the college kids. Occasionally they get hassled by the local gopniks or police, but he likes the job. Then he asks if you need help finding an outfit.'
 		act 'Continue': gt 'shop_dolls', 'savva'
 	end
 !!this only shows up as an option if Anushka sent Sveta to the store from one of her chat options in Anushka file or anushapt file.
@@ -252,13 +252,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'savva':
 			npc_rel['A204'] += 3
 			'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/savva/savva.jpg"></center>'
-			'"Anushka, a friend of mine, sent me." you tell him with a smile.'
+			'"Anushka, a friend of mine, sent me," you tell him with a smile.'
 			'He laughs a bit. "Well you must lead a real interesting life then if she is your friend. So you from Pavlovsk too?"'
 			'You nod a bit. "Yeah, we go to school together actually."'
 			'He nods a bit. "Cool, I still find it hard to believe that a girl like that has good enough grades to go to the University. Guess when that happens, I''ll see a lot more of her."'
 			*nl
 			'"She is a wild one, that''s for sure. Anyways, she told me you could help and that you ''owe her one.''"'
-			'He snorts and shakes his head. "She must be failing math since she doesn''t seem to know how to count. But she''s pretty cool and if she sent you, then you have to be ok. So what''s your name?" You tell him your name and he types out a few things on the computer and a few moments later, you hear the sound of something printing. Then he hands over a card. "Here is a VIP customer card, good for ten percent off anything in the store. Now you can tell her she owes me, like I am ever likely to collect." he says with a laugh.'
+			'He snorts and shakes his head. "She must be failing math since she doesn''t seem to know how to count. But she''s pretty cool, and if she sent you, then you have to be ok. So what''s your name?" You tell him your name, and he types out a few things on the computer. A few moments later, you hear the sound of something printing. Then he hands over a card. "Here is a VIP customer card, good for ten percent off anything in the store. Now you can tell her she owes me, like I am ever likely to collect," he says with a laugh.'
 	!!can this be coded so Sveta gets a discount on all items here after this conversation.
 			act 'Continue': gt 'shop_dolls', 'savva'
 		end
@@ -289,7 +289,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'viola':
 	'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/viola/viola.jpg"></center>'
 	if know_Viola = 0:
-		'At the counter you see a young woman, maybe as old as your sister or a year or two older. She is reading a magazine when you walk up, only glancing up at you as you stop at the counter. "How can I help you?"'
+		'At the counter, you see a young woman, maybe as old as your sister or a year or two older. She is reading a magazine when you walk up, only glancing up at you as you stop at the counter. "How can I help you?"'
 	else
 		'"What''s up, <<$pcs_nickname>>? You here to do a little shopping or to kill some time?"'
 	end
@@ -298,7 +298,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'viola':
 		cla
 		'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/viola/viola.jpg"></center>'
-		'You ask her about the shop. She tells you the place is only a few years old and is about the only place to buy a decent outfit in the whole city; unless you are willing to shop online, that is, which leads her to talking about the woes of online shopping where clothes don''t fit and never seem to have anywhere near as good a quality as they seem to on the pictures. You get the impression that the topic really bothers her and she could go on for some time if you let her.'
+		'You ask her about the shop. She tells you the place is only a few years old and is about the only place to buy a decent outfit in the whole city; unless you are willing to shop online, that is, which leads her to talking about the woes of online shopping where clothes don''t fit and never seem to have anywhere near as good a quality as they seem to in the pictures. You get the impression that the topic really bothers her and she could go on for some time if you let her.'
 		act 'Continue': gt 'shop_dolls', 'viola'
 	end
 !!this only shows up as an option if Anushka sent Sveta to the store from one of her chat options in Anushka file or anushapt file.
@@ -309,12 +309,12 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'viola':
 			npc_rel['A205'] += 5
 			'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/viola/viola.jpg"></center>'
-			'"Anushka, a friend of mine, sent me." you tell her with a smile.'
+			'"Anushka, a friend of mine, sent me," you tell her with a smile.'
 			'Viola perks up a bit at the mention of Anushka. "Oh? You''re friends with Nush? Why didn''t you say so? How is she doing? Raising hell and having fun if I know her."'
 			*nl
-			'You can''t help but grin a little. If you are not mistaken, Viola has a thing for Anushka. "She''s good, I was asking her about her clothes. You know she has such good tastes. I asked her where she got them and she said you guys could help me out. Oh and she said to tell you that you ''owe her one'' or something like that."'
+			'You can''t help but grin a little. If you are not mistaken, Viola has a thing for Anushka. "She''s good, I was asking her about her clothes. You know she has such good tastes. I asked her where she got them, and she said you guys could help me out. Oh and she said to tell you that you ''owe her one'' or something like that."'
 			*nl
-			'Viola laughs at that last bit. "I seem to always be owing her, not sure how math works in her head. But if she sent you, then you are in good hands. What''s your name?" You tell her your name and she types out a few things on the computer and a few moments later, you hear the sound of something printing. Then she hands over a card. "Here is a VIP customer card, good for ten percent off anything in the store. Now you can tell her she owes me." Viola says with a wink.'
+			'Viola laughs at that last bit. "I seem to always be owing her, not sure how math works in her head. But if she sent you, then you are in good hands. What''s your name?" You tell her your name, and she types out a few things on the computer. A few moments later, you hear the sound of something printing. Then she hands over a card. "Here is a VIP customer card, good for ten percent off anything in the store. Now you can tell her she owes me," Viola says with a wink.'
 	!!can this be coded so Sveta gets a discount on all items here after this conversation.
 			act 'Continue': gt 'shop_dolls', 'viola'
 		end
@@ -324,7 +324,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'viola':
 		npc_rel['A205'] += 3
 		'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/viola/viola.jpg"></center>'
-		'As you talk to her, you start flirting and she returns the favor to a point, occasionally touching your hand or shoulder, laughing at some of the things you say... but she never fully commits to flirting with you; either she''s playing hard to get, trying to put you in a good mood to buy stuff, or she is messing with you - you are unsure which one it is.'
+		'As you talk to her, you start flirting, and she returns the favor to a point, occasionally touching your hand or shoulder, laughing at some of the things you say... but she never fully commits to flirting with you; she''s either playing hard to get, trying to put you in a good mood to buy stuff, or messing with you - you are unsure which one it is.'
 		act 'Continue': gt 'shop_dolls', 'viola'
 	end
 	act 'Chat with her':
@@ -334,7 +334,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'viola':
 		npc_rel['A205'] += 2
 		'<center><b><font color="maroon">Patch Work Dolls</font></b></center>'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/viola/viola.jpg"></center>'
-		'You decide to chat with her and the two of you talk about a variety of topics. She seems happy to talk with you, especially about fashion, techniques on dying your hair, music, and the injustices of life. She mentions how the gopniks hassle some of the gay boys that shop here and some time passes, before you decide to do something else.'
+		'You decide to chat with her, and the two of you talk about a variety of topics. She seems happy to talk with you, especially about fashion, techniques for dyeing your hair, music, and the injustices of life. She mentions how the gopniks hassle some of the gay boys that shop here, and some time passes before you decide to do something else.'
 		act 'Continue': gt 'shop_dolls', 'viola'
 	end
 	act 'Return': gt 'shop_dolls', 'start'