Grammar and writing improvements for the shared apartment

locations/pav_shared_apt.qsrc

@@ -103,23 +103,23 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'update':
 		!sp_bj ; sp_bjDeep ; sp_swall ; sp_vag ; sp_vagCumInside ; sp_vagCumInsideUnwanted ; sp_anal ; sp_analCumInside ; sp_analCumInsideUnwanted
 
 	!mood setup
-	if nd_mood = 1:$nd_mood = 'very good'
+	if nd_mood = 1:$nd_mood = 'great'
 	if nd_mood = 2:$nd_mood = 'good'
 	if nd_mood = 3:$nd_mood = 'normal'
 	if nd_mood = 4:$nd_mood = 'bad'
-	if nd_mood = 5:$nd_mood = 'very bad'
+	if nd_mood = 5:$nd_mood = 'terrible'
 
-	if gp_mood = 1:$gp_mood = 'very good'
+	if gp_mood = 1:$gp_mood = 'great'
 	if gp_mood = 2:$gp_mood = 'good'
 	if gp_mood = 3:$gp_mood = 'normal'
 	if gp_mood = 4:$gp_mood = 'bad'
-	if gp_mood = 5:$gp_mood = 'very bad'
+	if gp_mood = 5:$gp_mood = 'terrible'
 
-	if sp_mood = 1:$sp_mood = 'very good'
+	if sp_mood = 1:$sp_mood = 'great'
 	if sp_mood = 2:$sp_mood = 'good'
 	if sp_mood = 3:$sp_mood = 'normal'
 	if sp_mood = 4:$sp_mood = 'bad'
-	if sp_mood = 5:$sp_mood = 'very bad'
+	if sp_mood = 5:$sp_mood = 'terrible'
 
 	gs 'stat'
 
@@ -182,7 +182,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'doorNo30':
 	act 'Go back outside':gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 	if pavSharedAptEnabled = 1:
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/shared/apartment/podezdhr.jpg"></center>'
-		'<br>You stand before the entry door to apartment No 30. The apartment you share with three others'
+		'<br>You stand before the entry door to apartment No 30, the apartment you share with three others'
 		act 'Go inside':gt 'pav_shared_apt', 'start'
 	else
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/sharedapt/aptno3door.jpg"></center>'
@@ -240,7 +240,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 
 	if weekNum < rentWeekNum:
 		if rentLeft > 0:
-			'You have left <<rentLeft>> <b>₽</b> of rent to pay for the next week.'
+			'You have <<rentLeft>> <b>₽</b> of rent left to pay for the next week.'
 			if servitudeLvl >= 1:
 				'You may still pay it in <a href="exec:gt ''pav_shared_apt'', ''payCash''">cash</a>, if you want.'
 			else
@@ -312,7 +312,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 		minut += 5
 		!Need to have some actual story to this with NPC reactions.
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/boy/dimka/revenge/crying.jpg"></center>'
-		'You''ve been kicked out of the apartment due to having children.'
+		'You''ve been kicked out of the apartment for having children.'
 		pavSharedAptEnabled = 0
 		home_owner[13] = 0
 		act 'Leave':gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
@@ -324,14 +324,14 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'payCash':
 	minut += 2
 	cash = rentLeft
 	if money >= cash:
-		'You have decided to pay the remainder of the weekly rent in cash. It makes '+cash+' <b>₽</b>.'
+		'You have decided to pay the remainder of the weekly rent ('+cash+'<b>₽</b>) with cash.'
 		cashPaid += cash
 		money -= cash
 		rentPaid = 1
 		pavSharedAptEnabled = 1
 		home_owned[13] = 1
 	else
-		'You do not have enough money to pay it.'
+		'You do not have enough cash to pay for the rest of your rent.'
 	end
 	act 'Proceed':gt 'pav_shared_apt', 'start'
 end
@@ -339,7 +339,7 @@ end
 if $ARGS[0] = 'payService':
 	menu_off = 1
 	minut += 1
-	'The amount '+price+' <b>₽</b> was taken in account of your weekly rent.'
+	'The amount '+price+' <b>₽</b> was taken off of your weekly rent.'
 	servicePaid += price
 	act 'Continue':gt 'pav_shared_apt', 'start'
 end
@@ -347,7 +347,7 @@ end
 if $ARGS[0] = 'rentSetup':
 	menu_off = 1
 	minut += 2
-	'You get a list of paper, saying the weekly rent fee is <<rentWeekly>> rubles.'
+	'You get a list of paper, saying the weekly rent is <<rentWeekly>> rubles.'
 	rentPaid = 1
 	introDone = 1
 	rentWeekNum = (daystart - (daystart mod 7)) / 7 + 1
@@ -539,10 +539,16 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'list':
 	''
 	'---------------'
 	''
-	'Cooking a warm meal: '+price_cook
-	'Cleaning the apartment: '+price_clean
+	'Cook a warm meal: '+price_cook
+	'Clean the apartment: '+price_clean
 	if servitudeLvl >= 2:
 		''
+		'---------------'
+		''
+		'Written in marker on the paper, are sexual favours you can offer as well.'
+		''
+		'---------------'
+		'Rent discounts for the slut: '
 		'Handjob: '+price_handjob
 		'Blowjob: '+price_blowjob
 		'Sex: '+price_vaginal
@@ -564,7 +570,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'payRent':
 	menu_off = 1
 	minut += 1
 	'You decided to give the guys money, instead of serving them.'
-	'You just spent <<paid_rent>> cash.'
+	'You paid them <<paid_rent>> cash.'
 	money -= paid_rent
 	gs 'stat'
 	act 'Continue': gs 'pav_shared_apt', 'start'
@@ -584,8 +590,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'bathroom':
 	'<center><h3>Bathroom</h3></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/home/vanrpar.jpg"></center>'
 	*nl
-	'Modest bathroom, containing all that young people need for their daily life, such as:'
-	'A Shower, toilet, <a href="exec:gt ''mirror'',''start''">mirror</a>, where you can ' + iif(pcs_hairbsh = 0,'<a href="exec:gt ''mirror'',''brush''">brush</a>','brush') + ' your hair, a sink and even a bath tub.'
+	'This is a modest bathroom, containing everything that young people need for their daily life, such as:'
+	'A shower, toilet, <a href="exec:gt ''mirror'',''start''">mirror</a>, where you can ' + iif(pcs_hairbsh = 0,'<a href="exec:gt ''mirror'',''brush''">brush</a>','brush') + ' your hair, a sink and even a bath tub.'
 	*nl
 	gs 'din_van', 'private'
 	gs 'stat'
@@ -677,7 +683,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'cleanForGuys':
 	*nl
 	'You collect piles of dirty clothes around the room, carry them into the bathroom, put them in a basin and then pour washing powder on them. You wash them until they are finally clean.'
 	cumStainCh =  rand (0, 100)
-	if servitudeLvl = 2 and cumStainCh <= 50:'<i>You notice bedsheets with what seems as dried out cum. Probably remainder of one of yours "servings". Maybe it is really better to swallow everytime, you wonder?</i>'
+	if servitudeLvl = 2 and cumStainCh <= 50:'<i>You notice bedsheets with what seems as dried out cum. Probably remainder of one of your "servings". Maybe it really is better to swallow every time...</i>'
 
 	act 'Hang them to dry out and leave':gt 'pav_shared_apt', 'payService'
 end
@@ -698,26 +704,26 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pcsRoom':
 	'<center><b><font color="maroon">Living Room</font></b></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/shared/sharedapt/bedroom/sofabed.jpg"></center>'
 	*nl
-	'The living room wasn''t in use by the other apartment occupants, so it is now rented to use as a bedroom. It''s sparsly decorated, with, a <a href="exec:gt ''bed'', ''start''">sofa bed</a>, against the back wall.'
+	'The living room was never used by the other apartment occupants, so it''s now rented out as a bedroom. It''s sparsely decorated, with, a <a href="exec:gt ''bed'', ''start''">sofa bed</a>, against the back wall.'
 	*nl
-	'Beside the sofa bed, is an old cabinet, with your <a href="exec:gt ''budilnik'', ''start''">alarm clock</a> on top.'
+	'Beside the sofa bed is an old cabinet, with your <a href="exec:gt ''budilnik'', ''start''">alarm clock</a> on top.'
 	*nl
 	'Your <a href="exec:gt ''budilnik'', ''start''">alarm clock</a> is set to <b>'+iif(timer < 10,'0<<timer>>','<<timer>>')+':'+iif(timerM < 10,'0<<timerM>>','<<timerM>>')+'</b> during the week and <b>'+iif(timerEnd < 10,'0<<timerEnd>>','<<timerEnd>>')+':'+iif(timerEndM < 10,'0<<timerEndM>>','<<timerEndM>>')+'</b> during the weekend. It is currently turned '+iif(budilnikOn = 0, '<a href="exec: budilnikOn = 1 & gt $loc, $loc_arg">OFF</a>.', '<a href="exec: budilnikOn = 0 & gt $loc, $loc_arg">ON</a>.')
 	*nl
-	if TV = 0:$TV = 'a great place for a TV, if you had one.'
+	if TV = 0:$TV = 'a great place for a TV, if you had one'
 	if TV = 1:$TV = 'an old CRT <a href="exec:gt ''TV'', ''start''">TV</a> sits on the shelf'
 	'There is an wall unit at the other side of the room, <<$TV>>. Everyone in the household spends their time in their own rooms, so there was never a reason to use the living room for its intended purpose.'
 	*nl
 	'On the other side of the sofa bed are your old <a href="exec:gt ''clothing'', ''view_clothing_list'', ''wardrobe''">suitcases</a>, which you could use to store the clothes you don''t often wear.'
 	*nl
-	'There is no door to the living room, instead there''s <a href="exec:view''images/shared/sharedapt/bedroom/curtain.jpg''">curtain</a> covering entry to the room, which gives you a modicum of privacy; not much better than the state of the non-existant window curtains'
+	'There is no door to the living room, instead there''s <a href="exec:view''images/shared/sharedapt/bedroom/curtain.jpg''">curtain</a> covering entry to the room, which gives you a modicum of privacy; not much better than the state of the non-existent window curtains.'
 
 	act '<b>Leave the room</b>':gt 'pav_shared_apt', 'start'
 
 	act 'Sit on the sofa bed':gt 'pav_shared_apt', 'sofabed'
 
 	if obruch > 0: '<br>A hula hoop stands in corner of the room. '
-	if skak > 0: 'A jump rope is on a shelf. '
+	if skak > 0: 'A jump rope lies on a shelf. '
 	if bookYog > 0: 'A yoga mat is rolled up in a corner. '
 	gs 'exercise', 'start'
 	*nl
@@ -757,7 +763,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'pcsRoom':
 				newgobelen = 1
 				minut += 15
 				gs'stat'
-				'You spend 15 minutes at the embroidery frame, preparing the fabric and outlining the pattern for the tapestry.'
+				'You spend 15 minutes working on the embroidery frame, preparing the fabric and outlining the pattern for the tapestry.'
 				act'Set the tapestry aside':gt 'pav_shared_apt', 'pcsRoom'
 			end
 		end
@@ -864,7 +870,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'ndRoom':
 	elseif hour >= nd_leaves and hour < nd_comes:
 		'<<$nd_name>> is not here.'
 	elseif hour >= nd_comes and hour < nd_sleeps:
-		'<<$nd_name>> is currently behind his desk, doing some clever IT stuff.'
+		'<<$nd_name>> is currently behind his desk, programming in an esoteric language.'
 		act 'Approach him': gt 'pav_shared_nd', 'nd'
 	end
 	if servitudeLvl >= 1 and nd_cleaned = 0:
@@ -887,7 +893,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'gpRoom':
 	'<center><h3><font color=#<<$gp_font>>><<$gp_name>>''s room</font></h3></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/sharedapt/gp/room.jpg"></center>'
 	''
-	'Messy room. Clothes everywhere.'
+	'This room is a messy disaster, with clothes scattered all over the floor.'
 
 	if hour >= gp_wakes and hour < gp_leaves:
 		'<<$gp_name>> is already awake, getting ready to leave.'
@@ -920,16 +926,16 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'spRoom':
 	'<center><h3><font color=#<<$sp_font>>><<$sp_name>>''s room</font></h3></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/sharedapt/sp/room.jpg"></center>'
 	''
-	'Tidy room full of sporting stuff like dresses, equipment and trophys. On the walls hang several posters of famous sport guys.'
+	'This room is very neat and organized, with sporting stuff like dresses, equipment and trophys. On the walls hang several posters of famous athletes and sports teams.'
 
 	if hour >= sp_wakes and hour < sp_leaves:
-		'<<$sp_name>> is already awake, packing his bags to leave.'
+		'<<$sp_name>> is already awake, packing his gym bags to leave.'
 		act 'Approach him': gt 'pav_shared_sp', 'sp'
 	elseif hour >= sp_leaves and hour < sp_comes:
 		'<<$sp_name>> is not here.'
 	elseif hour >= sp_comes and hour < sp_sleeps:
 		doesStuff = rand (0, 100)
-		if doesStuff < 50:'<<$sp_name>> is currently on his bed, listing through sport magazines.'
+		if doesStuff < 50:'<<$sp_name>> is currently on his bed, listing through football magazines.'
 		if doesStuff >= 50:'<<$sp_name>> is working out on the floor.'
 		act 'Approach him': gt 'pav_shared_sp', 'sp'
 	elseif hour >= sp_sleeps or hour < sp_wakes: