[text edit] New touches and proofread by Erized

locations/Peterroom.qsrc

@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start_door':
 
 			act 'Enter the apartment':gt 'peterroom', 'start'
 		else
-			'You ring the doorbell but no one answers.'
+			'You ring the doorbell, but no one answers.'
 
 			act 'Leave':
 				cla
@@ -50,9 +50,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	if peter > 0 :
 		peterrand = rand(1, 2)
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/9.jpg"></center>'
-		'You get undressed and lock yourself in a collar. From the next room you hear the voice of Peter Vlasnyi saying: "Who is my whore?"'
+		'You get undressed and fix your collar around your neck. You hear Peter in the next room. "Who''s my whore?"'
 
-		act 'I am, master...':
+		act 'I am, Master.':
 			petersex = petersex + 1
 
 			if analplugin = 1 :gt 'peterroom', 'klap'
@@ -63,19 +63,20 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 		petersexday += 1
 		minut += 10
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/1.jpg"></center>'
-		'You start to undress. He puts a collar down in front of you. It''s a narrow strip of leather with space for a leash to be attached.'
+		'As you start to undress, Peter walks into the room, a multi-tailed whip in one hand and a collar in the other.'
+		'He puts the collar down in front of you. It''s a broad strip of leather with a ring at the front where a leash can be attached.'
 
 		act 'Put it on' :
 			*clr
 			cla
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/2.jpg"></center>'
-			'You put on the collar. Peter strokes you gently on the cheek, but then suddenly whips you.'
-			'"-Lustful girl! Stand up, turn around, hands behind your back!"'
-			'You do as he says and feel cold metal closing around your wrists.'
+			'You eagerly put the collar on and Peter strokes you gently on the cheek, but then suddenly pulls his hand back and slaps you.'
+			'"Lustful girl! Stand up and turn around - hands behind your back!"'
+			'You do as he says and feel leather cuffs being fastened around your wrists.'
 
 			if analplugin = 1 :
 				analplugin = 0
-				'"And what have we here?" Peter grips the tip of the butt plug sticking out of your ass, and eases it out.'
+				'"What do we have here?" Peter grips the end of the butt plug sticking out of your ass, and eases it out.'
 			end
 
 			act 'Smile':
@@ -83,14 +84,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 				*clr
 				gs 'stat'
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/3.jpg"></center>'
-				'Peter pulls you by the collar, pushes you to your knees in front of him and orders: "Come on bitch, open your mouth."'
+				'Peter pulls you by the collar, then shoves you to your knees in front of him. "Come on bitch, open your mouth." he orders.'
 
-				act 'Submit':
+				act 'Please him':
 					cla
 					*clr
 					'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/4.jpg"></center>'
-					'Peter unbuttons his pants and pulls out his 25cm dick. He grabs you by the hair and shoves the head in your mouth. You obediently wrap your lips around it, sucking and caressing with your tongue, feeling as it grows and strains inside your mouth.'
-
+					'Peter unbuttons his pants and pulls out his 25cm cock. He grabs you by the hair and shoves the head in your mouth. You obediently wrap your lips around it, then begin to suck and caress it with your tongue, feeling it grow and strain inside your mouth.'
 					gs 'arousal', 'bj', 5, 'sub'
 					gs 'stat'
 					
@@ -98,9 +98,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 						cla
 						*clr
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/5.jpg"></center>'
-						'Peter pushes you over and impatiently thrusts his member in your pussy, fucking you like a doll. A few minutes later, he stops, pulls his cock out, pushes you to the floor and orders:'
-						'"Crawl to me, bitch!"'
-
+						'Peter pushes you onto the bed and presses your legs up to your chest before binding your hand cuffs behind them.'
+						'With some impatience, he climbs onto the bed and thrusts his member into your pussy, fucking you like a mindless doll. After a few minutes, he stops and pulls his cock out of you, unties you and then shoves you to the floor.'
+						'He walks across the room, turns and says, "Crawl to me, bitch!"'
 						gs 'arousal', 'vaginal', 5, 'sub'
 						gs 'stat'
 					
@@ -116,10 +116,10 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 						gs 'willpower', 'pay', 'resist'
 						gs 'stat'
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/4_1.jpg"></center>'
-						'"I will punish you!" With these words Peter crosses the table and shoves a plug into your ass. - He then starts whipping your ass, alternating cheeks. He counts the strikes aloud, ignoring your sobs...'
+						'"You need to be punished!" Peter rounds the table and forces you on your knees with your ass high in the air. You squeal when he shoves a butt plug deep into your ass, but it gets worse. He reaches for his whip, and starts flogging your ass, alternating cheeks. He counts the strikes aloud, ignoring your sobs as the leather tails burn across your raw ass.'
 						'"Beg me to fuck you, whore!"'
-
-						act 'Yes! I''ll be your whore!' :gt 'peterroom', 'klap'
+						'Please fuck me, Master! Please! Fuck me like the dirty little whore I am!'
+						act 'Continue' :gt 'peterroom', 'klap'
 					end
 				else
 					act 'Refuse (<font color="red"><<will_cost>> Willpower</font>)': '<br><font color="red">You don''t have enough willpower to use this action.</font>'
@@ -136,10 +136,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'klap':
 	*clr
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/6.jpg"></center>'
-	'Peter puts you on a leash and leads you into the bedroom. He pushes you onto the huge bed and ties your hands and feet.'
-	'Then he puts you into a mouth gag:- a ball on a strap, fastened at the back.'
-	'"I love you, <<$pcs_nickname>>, when you moan, but when you''re allowed to talk, you start talking nonsense. So it is better to be gagged, honey ...'
-
+	'Peter puts you on a leash and leads you into the bedroom. He pushes you onto the huge bed and ties your hands and feet to the headboard, before fastening a ball gag into your mouth.'
+	'"I love it when you moan, <<$pcs_nickname>>, but when you''re allowed to talk, you start spouting nonsense. So I think you''re better off gagged.'
 	gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5, 'sub', 'bound'
 	gs 'stat'
 					
@@ -147,23 +145,21 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'klap':
 		cla
 		*clr
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/7.jpg"></center>'
-		'Peter bears down on you from above. "Let''s see how much your sweet ass opens up?" he says,'
+		'Peter spreads your legs and bears down on you from above. "Let''s see how well your sweet ass opens for me," he says'
 
 		if analplugin = 1 :
 			analplugin = 0
 			', pulls out your butt plug'
 		end
 
-		' and puts his huge erection to your anus, half-entering it. You gasp in pain, and moan into the gag. You can''t wait for him to get in your ass completely. Peter sees your reaction and begins to fuck your ass, with every stroke penetrating deeper and deeper, until his dick is completely inside you, and his balls slap hard on your buttocks. He fucks you so hard that your knees start to shake, and pussy juices leak onto your ass.'
-
+		', and positions his huge erection against your asshole, half-entering with the first thrust. You gasp in pain, moaning into the gag. You can''t wait for him to bury himself in your ass completely. Peter sees your reaction and begins to fuck your ass, penetrating deeper with each stroke, until his dick is completely buried inside you and his balls slap hard against your buttocks. He fucks you so hard that your knees start to shake, and pussy juices trickle down your ass.'
 		gs 'arousal', 'anal', 10, 'sub'
 		gs 'stat'
 					
 		act 'Moan again':
 			cla & *clr
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/8.jpg"></center>'
-			'He continues to penetrate you faster, then slows the rhythm, makes several deep movements and finishes by filling your insides with a hot stream of sperm ....'
-
+			'He continues to fuck you hard and fast, then slows the rhythm, finishing with several sharp uneven thrusts that fill your insides with a hot stream of cum.'
 			gs 'arousal', 'anal', 10, 'sub'
 			gs 'stat'
 		
@@ -172,10 +168,10 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'klap':
 			if pcs_horny >= 100:
 				analorgasm += 1
 				$orgasm_or = 'yes'
-				$orgasm_txt = 'heat surges in your ass and an orgasm washes over you.'
+				$orgasm_txt = 'A pleasant sensation surges within you and an orgasm washes over you, juices spraying from your pussy as you moan loudly into the gag.'
 			end
 
-			'Your ass makes squelching noise when he pulls his dick out. Peter sits on the bed, breathing heavily, and you remain lying bound, feeling sperm slowly leaking from your fucked ass.'
+			'Your ass makes a loud squelching noise when he pulls his dick out. Peter sits on the bed, breathing heavily while you remain bound, his cum slowly leaking from your asshole.'
 			
 			act 'Relax' :gt 'peterroom', 'end'
 		end
@@ -188,7 +184,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'end':
 	minut += 30
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/vanroom.jpg"></center>'
-	'- You were great - said Peter and smacks you on the asscheek, picks up and carries you to the bathroom, where you shower together.'
+	'"You were great." Peter says, smacking you on the ass. After a few minutes, he picks you up and carries you to the bathroom, where you take a bath together.'
 
 	act 'Leave' :
 		cla
@@ -196,14 +192,15 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'end':
 		peter += 1
 		minut += 20
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/mash.jpg"></center>'
-		'You walk down to the yard, and Peter starts the car. He kisses you on the lips and says:'
-		'"<<$pcs_nickname>>, you really brighten up my lonely and gray existence. Your appearance is as the light in the dark, or a breath of fresh air ... I hope to see you again. But I need to leave for now. Want a lift?"'
+		'Leaving his apartment, Peter grabs his keys, planning to head out too. You walk down to the yard together, and when you reach his car, Peter leans in to kiss you on the lips.'
+		'"<<$pcs_nickname>>, you really brighten up my lonely existence. Your appearance is like a light in the dark - a breath of fresh air." He smiles, stroking your cheek. "I need to leave for now, but I hope I can see you against soon."'
+		'Peter slides into his car and starts the engine, but just as he''s about to drive off, he suddenly calls to you. "Forgive my rudeness, but do you need a lift somewhere?"'
 			
-		act 'To the center':
+		act 'To the city center':
 			gs 'arousal', 'end'
 			gt 'city_center'
 		end
-		act 'The house':
+		act 'To your apartment':
 			gs 'arousal', 'end'
 			gt 'city_residential'
 		end
@@ -215,23 +212,23 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'd1':
 	*clr
 	if pcs_ass < 25:pcs_ass += 1
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/d1-1.jpg"></center>'
-	'Peter ties your hands behind your back. His hands take you by the hips and lift your ass, placing you on a hook.'
-
+	'Peter binds your torso and hands, then lifts you up by the hips, hanging your bound form from a hook.'
+	
 	act 'Suck his fingers':
 		cla
 		*clr
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/d1-2.jpg"></center>'
-		'Peter grabs your hands and drives his cock in your ass. You gasp in pain, and moan into the gag. - "And I see you can''t wait for me to fill this ass completely" - Peter sees your reaction and begins to fuck your ass with every stroke penetrating deeper and deeper, until his penis is completely inside you, and his balls slap hard on your buttocks.'
-
+		'Peter grabs your head and shoves all of his fingers into your mouth, forcing you to suck on them.'
+		'After a few seconds of you sucking and gagging on his fingers, he withdraws them and moves around behind you.'     
 		gs 'arousal', 'anal', 10, 'sub'
 		gs 'stat'
 		
-		act 'Moan':
+		act 'Penetration':
 			cla
 			*clr
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/d1-3.jpg"></center>'
-			'He fucks you so intensely that you feel your knees start to shake, and pussy juices flow down your legs.'
-
+			'You think he is about to finger your ass, but squeal in surprise when he shoves his dick into you instead.'
+            'You moan in a mix of pleasure and pain as he starts thrusting, quickly picking up the pace.'
 			gs 'arousal', 'anal', 10, 'sub'
 			gs 'stat'
 		
@@ -239,20 +236,19 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'd1':
 				cla
 				*clr
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/d1-4.jpg"></center>'
-				'He continues to fuck you faster'
+				'He continues to fuck you hard and you submit yourself to the pleasure of your ass being hammered, your pussy juices running down your legs.'
 
 				if pcs_horny >= 100:
 					analorgasm += 1
 					$orgasm_or = 'yes'
-					'. You feel a hot orgasm washing over you. Simultaneously, Peter pounds his dick deeper and deeper, filling your insides with a hot stream of sperm ....'
+					'He continues to fuck you hard and fast and you soon feel an intense orgasm washing over you, juices squirting from your pussy as his warm cum fills your ass.'
 					
 				elseif pcs_horny < 100:
 					$orgasm_or = 'no'
-					' and then slows the rhythm, makes several deep movements and finishes filling your insides with a hot stream of sperm ....'
-					
+					'He suddenly slows the rhythm, finishing with several sharp uneven thrusts that fill your ass with a hot load of cum.'					
 				end
-
-				'Your ass makes a squelching noise as he takes out his dick. Peter sits on the bed, breathing heavily, and you remain kneeling with your ass up, and sperm dripping down your legs.'
+				
+				'Your ass makes a loud squelching noise when he pulls his dick out. Peter sits on the bed, breathing heavily while you remain kneeling with your ass in the air, his cum trickling down your leg.'
 
 				act 'Further' :gt 'peterroom', 'end'
 			end
@@ -264,7 +260,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'd2':
 	cla
 	*clr
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/d2-1.jpg"></center>'
-	'Peter puts you on your knees, then lifts your head and pistons his cock into your mouth. The head goes down your throat, but he continues to press, and its full 25 centimeter length begins to enter into you further.'
+	'Peter forces you on your knees, then lifts your head and thrusts his cock into your mouth. The head of his cock goes down your throat, but he continues to thrust, forcing more of its 25cm length inside.'
 
 	gs 'arousal', 'bj', 5, 'sub'
 	gs 'stat'
@@ -273,7 +269,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'd2':
 		cla
 		*clr
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/d2-2.jpg"></center>'
-		'- He pushes relentlessly, fucking your mouth deeper and deeper. After another push you feel your lips hit his balls, and realize that it is all inside.'
+		'He thrusts mercilessly, fucking deeper into your mouth. Eventually, you feel his balls slap your chin, and realize that he''s bottomed out.'
+		'You feel a sense of pride in managing to take it all, but the feeling melts away as he begins to use your throat.'
 
 		gs 'arousal', 'bj', 5, 'sub', 'deepthroat'
 		gs 'stat'
@@ -282,8 +279,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'd2':
 			cla
 			*clr
 			'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/d2-3.jpg"></center>'
-			'Tears stream from your eyes, and Peter begins slowly moving. He takes his hands away from your head, and now you hands grab onto his buttocks while you let him use your throat. Trembling, you are lost in sensation between the fire raging in your legs and the shameless awareness of the depravity of the situation.'
-
+			'Tears stream from your eyes as he begins moving slowly. He takes his hands away from your head, and you desperately grab onto him while you let him use your throat. Trembling, you are lost in sensations - caught between the fire raging between your legs and your shameless awareness of the depravity of the situation.'
 			gs 'arousal', 'bj', 5, 'sub', 'deepthroat'
 			gs 'stat'
 		
@@ -291,14 +287,13 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'd2':
 				cla
 				*clr
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/city/peter/sex/d2-4.jpg"></center>'
-				'Peter begins to finish and stops to drive his member as far as possible, you feel his sperm flow deep inside you. And on his balls, your saliva...'
-
+				'Peter is nearing climax, his thrusts becoming ragged, when he suddenly stops and pushes in deep. His balls draw up, coated with your saliva, and you feel his sperm shooting down your throat.'
 				gs 'arousal', 'bj', 5, 'sub', 'deepthroat'
 				gs 'stat'
 		
 				if pcs_horny >= 100:
 					$orgasm_or = 'yes'
-					'Suddenly you start you finish yourself. Waves of pleasure cover your body, you moan and shudder with orgasm, but Peter grips you and does not allow his cock to slip out of your mouth ...'
+					'Your orgasm suddenly hits you. Waves of pleasure ripple through your body, and you moan and shudder with release, but Peter holds you in place and refuses to allow his cock to slip out of your mouth.'
 				end
 
 				act 'Swallow' :gt 'peterroom', 'end'