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[text edit] clean up stwork

Spackled Lanturn 3 years ago
parent
commit
4bbb3faafa
1 changed files with 18 additions and 18 deletions
  1. 18 18
      locations/stwork.qsrc

+ 18 - 18
locations/stwork.qsrc

@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	''
 	'There are several <a href="exec:gt ''mirror'', ''start''">mirrors</a> hanging on the wall, where you can <a href="exec:gt ''mirror'', ''brush''">brush</a> your hair, and a selection of <a href="exec:gt ''wardrobe'', ''start''">clothes</a> hanging on rails for the girls to dress in.'
 	'There are some stairs leading to the <a href="exec:gt ''stwork'', ''stripgirl''">stage</a> where you can head out to perform.'
-	'To the side there''s a <a href="exec:stripMir = 0 & gt ''stripclub'', ''start''">steel door</a> which overlooks the back yard and the staff uses as an entrance, to save them from meeting scummy customers. Standing by this entrance, there''s always <a href="exec:gt ''stwork'', ''guard''">security</a> keeping the talent safe.'
+	'To the side, there''s a <a href="exec:stripMir = 0 & gt ''stripclub'', ''start''">steel door</a> which overlooks the back yard and the staff uses as an entrance to save them from meeting scummy customers. Standing by this entrance, there''s always <a href="exec:gt ''stwork'', ''guard''">security</a> keeping the talent safe.'
 	'Near the exit door is a vending machine selling '+iif(money >= 100,'<a href="exec:money -= 100 & gt ''food'', ''snack''">snacks</a>','snacks')+' and a <a href="exec:gt ''beverage'', ''bev_wat''">water cooler</a>, which is heavily used by staff after coming off stage'
 	'A wooden door leads to the <a href="exec:gt ''stwork'', ''toilet''">staff bathroom</a>.'
 	*nl
@@ -101,19 +101,19 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 						act 'Go see the manager':
 							*clr & cla
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/stripclub/stripinspection.jpg"></center>'
-							'Before going on the stage you go see the manager in his office for your inspection.'
-							'"Take off your clothes." He tells you matter of factly.'
+							'Before going on stage, you go see the manager in his office for your inspection.'
+							'"Take off your clothes," he tells you matter of factly.'
 							'When you''re done undressing, he walks up to you and inspects you closely.'
 							if pcs_sweat < 20:
-								'"Good, you have a clean sent. That is very important in this business."'
+								'"Good, you have a clean scent. That is very important in this business."'
 								'He briefly runs his hand over your legs.'
 								if pcs_leghair <= 3:
 									'"Smooth legs. Very good."'
-									'He walks around you looking you up and down from every side.'
+									'He walks around you, looking you up and down from every side.'
 									if fingal <= 0:
 										'"No bruises. Good. The better you look, the easier it is to make money once you are on that stage."'
 										'"And the last thing. I need to check if you''ve rid yourself of all your pubic hair."'
-										'"I suppose that''s a reasonable thing to check." You think to yourself as you show him your naked pussy.'
+										'"I suppose that''s a reasonable thing to check," you think to yourself as you show him your naked pussy.'
 										'He puts his hand right above your pussy lips and slowly rubs the skin there, taking a bit longer than he did on your legs.'
 										'You feel your pussy get a bit wet from his touch and hope that he doesn''t notice.'
 										gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 2
@@ -121,12 +121,12 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 !! This allows different pubic styles but anything from small bush up is still not permitted.
 										if (pubestyle = 1 and pcs_pubes <= 3) or lashair = 1:
 											strippermission = 1
-											'"That''s very smooth. Looks like you are ready to get on the stage. You can get to work." He says and ushers you out of his office.'
+											'"That''s very smooth. Looks like you are ready to get on the stage. You can get to work," he says and ushers you out of his office.'
 											stpredmet = 3
 											act 'Perform': gt 'stwork2', 'strip'
 										elseif (pubestyle >= 2 and pubestyle <=7) and pcs_pubes <= 11:
 											strippermission = 1
-											'"Very cute pubic hair, I''m sure the customers will appreciate it, now get on stage. You can work" He says and ushers you out of his office.'
+											'"Very cute pubic hair, I''m sure the customers will appreciate it, now get on stage. You can work," he says and ushers you out of his office.'
 											stpredmet = 3
 											act 'Perform': gt 'stwork2', 'strip'
 										else
@@ -142,7 +142,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 									act 'Go to the dressing room': gt 'stwork', 'start'
 								end
 							else
-								'"Damn it <<$pcs_stagename>>, you stink. Grab a shower we can''t have the club smelling like a locker room."'
+								'"Damn it <<$pcs_stagename>>, you stink. Grab a shower. We can''t have the club smelling like a locker room."'
 								act 'Go to the dressing room': gt 'stwork', 'start'
 							end
 						end
@@ -152,7 +152,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 						end
 					end
 				else
-					'You aren''t allowed on stage, because of the black eye.'
+					'You aren''t allowed on stage because of your black eye.'
 				end
 			else
 				'Nobody wants to see a stripper with hairy legs and untrimmed pubes. Have a shave before you go on stage!'
@@ -201,17 +201,17 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'stripgirl':
 	gs 'stat'
 	striptalkrand = rand(0, 10)
 
-	if striptalkrand = 0:$striptalk = 'Have you heard about that new girl? She''s really good-looking and all, but she got booed off-stage, apperantly she was worthless.'
+	if striptalkrand = 0:$striptalk = 'Have you heard about that new girl? She''s really good-looking and all, but she got booed off-stage. Apparently, she was worthless.'
 	if striptalkrand = 1:$striptalk = 'I''m telling you, girls with tattoos are a huge turn-on to men.'
-	if striptalkrand = 2:$striptalk = 'Working the pole is much more profitable than just dancing, it''s easier to excite the customer, but it also demands more from the person doing it.'
+	if striptalkrand = 2:$striptalk = 'Working the pole is much more profitable than just dancing. It''s easier to excite the customer, but it also demands more from the person doing it.'
 	if striptalkrand = 3:$striptalk = 'Phew, you really have to leave it all out on the stage, getting back all sweaty, with disheveled hair and makeup ruined. The cost in cosmetics is enough to bankrupt you.'
 	if striptalkrand = 4:$striptalk = 'You know what, those private dances might be guaranteed money, but the real cash is in the extras.'
-	if striptalkrand = 5:$striptalk = 'Remember that ugly girl? She got on stage and got booed off the stage by the customers, but as soon as she started working the pole, their jaws dropped, and she made a fortune in tips.'
+	if striptalkrand = 5:$striptalk = 'Remember that ugly girl? She got on stage and got booed hard by the customers, but as soon as she started working the pole, their jaws dropped, and she made a fortune in tips.'
 	if striptalkrand = 6:$striptalk = 'Why doesn''t the manager ever says if it''s a male or female day? I recently rushed to work, even broke a nail, then I get here and there''s these bears up on stage. Had to turn around and head back home.'
-	if striptalkrand = 7:$striptalk = 'That cute security guard was telling me about the problems the girls face with this job. Half of them turn up whores in the end, the money is better.'
+	if striptalkrand = 7:$striptalk = 'That cute security guard was telling me about the problems the girls face with this job. Half of them become whores in the end, the money is better.'
 	if striptalkrand = 8:$striptalk = 'There was a fat woman trying to dance on the pole, she fell face first on the floor. I thought she had knocked herself out, you should have seen the black eye she got.'
-	if striptalkrand = 9:$striptalk = 'Recently we had a comedian working here. She was a pretty little thing and she danced well, but it''s not with jokes you earn tips here.'
-	if striptalkrand = 10:$striptalk = 'I heard about clubs abroad where the tips are so good, that the strippers pay for the right to work there.'
+	if striptalkrand = 9:$striptalk = 'Recently, we had a comedian working here. She was a pretty little thing, and she danced well, but it''s not with jokes you earn tips here.'
+	if striptalkrand = 10:$striptalk = 'I heard about clubs abroad where the tips are so good that the strippers pay for the right to work there.'
 
 	'The girls are doing their makeup and hair in the mirror, laughing and gossiping.'
 	'<<$striptalk>>'
@@ -222,7 +222,7 @@ end
 if $ARGS[0] = 'guard':
 	*clr & cla
 	gs 'stat'
-	'A bored looking, security guard stands by the door. Seeing you he lazily nods, "Hello <<$pcs_nickname>>."'
+	'A bored looking security guard stands by the door. Seeing you, he lazily nods, "Hello <<$pcs_nickname>>."'
 
 	act 'Move away':gt 'stwork', 'start'
 end
@@ -239,7 +239,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'toilet':
 	'You enter a dirty and smelly staff bathroom that''s probably never been cleaned.'
 	'There is no mirror, only a grimy shower, toilet, and basin'
 	*nl
-	'Your razor will last <b><<stanok>></b> more shaves. <a href="exec:gs ''din_van'', ''shave_options''">Shave Options</a>'
+	'Your razor will last <b><<stanok>></b> more ' + iif(stanok = 1, 'shave', 'shaves') + '. <a href="exec:gs ''din_van'', ''shave_options''">Shave Options</a>'
 
 	act 'Leave the bathroom':gt 'stwork', 'start'
 !	if kosmetica >= 3: