Browse Source

Cleaned up and edited text and fixed a typo that let players access Albina's house too early.

Vengeance11 3 years ago
parent
commit
af9f476454

+ 5 - 5
locations/albina_election_events.qsrc

@@ -22,8 +22,8 @@ act 'Speak with Chernov':
 		minut += 1
 		gs 'stat'
         '<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/albina/chernov.jpg"></center>'
-		if age < 18:'"Albina didn''t whore me out!" you protest. Chernov smiles. "I never said it was Albina, did I? All you have to do is give me your testimony stating that you are underage and were forced into an illegal prostitution ring. You don''t have to worry about Albina. We''ll keep her safe from any consequences of her actions."'
-		if age >= 18:'"Albina didn''t whore me out!" you protest. Chernov smiles. "I never said it was Albina, did I? All you have to do is give me your testimony stating that you were forced into an illegal prostitution ring. You don''t have to worry about Albina. We''ll keep her safe from any consequences of her actions."'
+		if age < 18:'"Albina didn''t whore me out!" you protest and Chernov smiles. "I never said it was Albina, did I? All you have to do is give me your testimony stating that you are underage and were forced into an illegal prostitution ring. You don''t have to worry about Albina. We''ll keep her safe from any consequences of her actions."'
+		if age >= 18:'"Albina didn''t whore me out!" you protest and Chernov smiles. "I never said it was Albina, did I? All you have to do is give me your testimony stating that you were forced into an illegal prostitution ring. You don''t have to worry about Albina. We''ll keep her safe from any consequences of her actions."'
 
 		'He pauses and gives you time to think before continuing. "We already have enough evidence through an anonymous source and statements from your fellow dancers to take down these activities, but your testimony will help solidfy the prosecution. Your name will be kept from the media, of course."'
 
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@ act 'Speak with Chernov':
 				minut += 1
 				gs 'stat'
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/albina/chernov.jpg"></center>'
-				'"What is so important about Albina that the Security Service are involved?" you ask. Chernov raises a brow. "You''re a smart girl, huh? You know Boris Barlovskaya, her father? He''s a retired police officer who served as the chief of police for years. In his retirement, we believe he has formed connections with the local criminal syndicate and is bribing his successor to block any investigations."'
+				'"What is so important about Albina that the Security Service are involved?" you ask. Chernov raises a brow. "You''re a smart girl, huh? You know Boris Barlovskay, her father? He''s a retired police officer who served as the chief of police for years. In his retirement, we believe he has formed connections with the local criminal syndicate and is bribing his successor to block any investigations."'
                 '"Your friend is our way in. All we need to do is prove that Albina''s dance troupe is actually a front for illegal prostitution. We need your statement Miss <<$pcs_lastname>>."'
 				if pcs_intel >= 75:
 					act 'Ask about Albina''s involvement':
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ act 'Speak with Chernov':
 						gs 'stat'
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/school/girl/albina/chernov.jpg"></center>'
 						'"How could Albina''s affairs affect her father?" you ask.'
-						'"It''s very simple really." he replies. "Barlovskaya wishes to become the mayor. We don''t want him running the town and so exposing the family affairs is how we are going to prevent that from happening."'
+						'"It''s very simple really." he replies. "Barlovskay wishes to become the mayor. We don''t want him running the town and so exposing the family affairs is how we are going to prevent that from happening."'
 						dynamic $din_zajava_albfather
 						dynamic $din_zajava_albfather_no
 					end
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ $din_zajava_albfather = {
 				AlbinaQW['StarletsShutDown'] = 1
 				gs 'stat'
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/pc/activities/calling_outdoor.jpg"></center>'
-				'You quickly dial Albina''s number and, in a panic, tell her what happened. She calms you down and asks if you told them anything. She sounds pleased when you tell her that you did. She thanks you and hangs up...'
+				'You quickly dial Albina''s number and, in a panic, tell her what happened. She calms you down and asks if you told them anything. She sounds pleased when you tell her that you did. She thanks you and hangs up without another word, leaving you a little confused.'
 
 				act 'Leave':gt 'pav_commercial'
 			end

+ 3 - 3
locations/gschool_chats1.qsrc

@@ -544,7 +544,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 		npc_rel['A23'] += 1
 		if AlbinaQW['Friends'] = 2:
 		    'You have a pleasant conversation with Albina where you both talk about almost anything, but you are careful not to bring up the Starlets or anything else that might upset her. The conversation ends with Albina embracing you in a tight and extended hug.'
-		elseif grupTipe = 2:
+		elseif grupTipe = 1 or grupTipe = 2:
 			'Albina has a somewhat friendly, yet awkward conversation with you. You both talk about your shared interests, but when you bring up family life she fiercely avoids the subject, eventually refusing to speak with you anymore and storming off.'
 		else
 			'Albina spends a lot of the conversation with her arms crossed and makes no effort to hide her boredom. She doesn''t dislike you, but you think she''s just tolerating your presence and humouring you with conversation.'
@@ -560,12 +560,12 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'albina':
 			'"No... Nobody? I just wanted to talk..." you sheepishly reply, but her tightening grip on you and her angry demeanor tell you that she doesn''t believe you. You try buttering her up with compliments, but she isn''t interested in your grovelling. She gets up in your face and tells you to stay away from her before releasing you and storming off, the others being smart enough not to follow her.' 
 		end
 	elseif pav_slut >= 150:
-		'Albina just stares at you in disbelief. "There''s some <i>nasty</i> rumors about you going around school. Everyone is saying you''re a cock hungry whore! How can you live with that - just letting guys... use you like that?"'
+		'Albina just stares at you in disbelief. "There''s some <i>nasty</i> rumors about you going around school. Everyone is saying you''re a cock hungry whore! How can you live like that - just letting guys... use you like that?"'
 		'You are about to speak up, but she shakes her head and walks away. You can''t tell if she was feeling disgusted or disappointed at you. She might even have been both.'
 	else 
 		npc_rel['A23'] += 1
 		'Your conversation, if you can call it that, with Albina is shallow and is over after only a minute or two as she excuses herself.'
-		'"You know my... father... cares... a lot..." She stops herself from laughing before walking away. You''re certain that you hear her holding back tears as she does, but you don''t want to push it and anger her.'
+		'"You know my... father... cares... a lot..." She trails off before walking away. You''re certain that you hear her holding back tears as she does, but you don''t want to push it and anger her.'
 		'She outright refuses to speak about her home life, her father in particular, and more than a few people have been on the receiving end of her wrath when they press her about the subject.'
 	end
 	

+ 121 - 122
locations/pav_complex.qsrc

@@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 		end
 	end	
 
-	if (week = 1 or week = 3) and hour >= 14 and hour <= 16 and Storyline > 0 and (LariskaQW['story'] = 0 or LariskaQW['story'] = 1) and npc_rel['A13'] > 40 and lariska_ball ! daystart: 'Walking along the apartment complex you can hear a bouncing sound. Turning the corner you see <a href="exec:gt ''lariska_storyline'', ''story_intro''">Lariska</a> hitting a volleyball against a wall.'
+	if (week = 1 or week = 3) and hour >= 14 and hour <= 16 and Storyline > 0 and (LariskaQW['story'] = 0 or LariskaQW['story'] = 1) and npc_rel['A13'] > 40 and lariska_ball ! daystart: 'Walking along the apartment complex, you hear a bouncing sound. Turning the corner, you see <a href="exec:gt ''lariska_storyline'', ''story_intro''">Lariska</a> hitting a volleyball against a wall.'
 	
 	if car > 0 and cardrive = 20: 'Your <a href="exec:gs ''carF'', ''start''"><<$car>></a> is parked in the street.'
 	
@@ -67,12 +67,12 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	end
 
 	if StoryLine = 1:
-		'In the old part of Pavlovsk, this is the Five Eight Estate made up of numerous Soviet era apartment blocks. Your family''s apartment is on the second floor of the nearest building'+iif(home_owned[2] = 1, '.', ', but you are no longer welcome in their home.')
+		'Located in the old part of Pavlovsk, these Soviet era apartment blocks are the Five Eight Estate. Your family''s apartment is on the second floor of the nearest building'+iif(home_owned[2] = 1, '.', ', but you are no longer welcome there.')
 	else
-		'In the old part of Pavlovsk, this is the Five Eight Estate made up of numerous Soviet era apartment blocks.'
+		'Located in the old part of Pavlovsk, these Soviet era apartment blocks are the Five Eight Estate.'
 	end
 	*nl
-	'Opposite you is a meager courtyard, which has changed over the years to now include a kid''s playground, basketball court and small grass area mostly used to play football on.'
+	'Opposite you is a meager courtyard, which has changed over the years to now include a kid''s playground, a basketball court and a small grassy area that''s mostly used to play football.'
 	'A few benches and tables surround it, and there''s a handful of small utility sheds tucked away in the corner for tenants to use if they''re willing to pay for the extra space.'
 	*nl
 	'Behind the apartments is a row of <a href="exec:minut += 3 & gt ''pav_complex'', ''garages''">garages</a> and storage space for tenants.'
@@ -86,14 +86,14 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 			if (hour >= 15 and hour <= 20 and week < 6) or (hour >= 8 and hour <= 20 and week >= 6):
 				'<a href="exec:minut += 15 & gt ''JuliaMilVhod''">Julia Milova</a>, one of your classmates, lives in the same apartment building as your parents, on the third floor.'
 			else
-				'Julia Milova, one of your classmates, lives in the same apartment building as your parents, on the third floor.'
+				'Julia Milova, one of your classmates, lives in the same apartment building as your parents. She resides on the third floor.'
 			end
 		end
 		if NatbelQW['VisitedHome'] = 1:
 			if (hour >= 15 and hour <= 20 and week < 6) or (hour >= 8 and hour <= 20 and week >= 6):
 				'<a href="exec:minut += 15 & gt ''natbelapt'', ''home''">Natasha Belova</a>, one of your classmates, lives in the same apartment building as your parents, on the fourth floor.'
 			else
-				'Natasha Belova, one of your classmates, lives in the same apartment building as your parents, on the fourth floor.'
+				'Natasha Belova, one of your classmates, lives in the same apartment building as your parents. She resides on the fourth floor.'
 			end
 		end
 		if anushkaFirstvisit ! 0: '<a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''anushapt'', ''home''">Anushka Konstantinov</a>, a classmate, lives in one of the other apartment blocks here.'
@@ -133,7 +133,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'start':
 	if pavSharedAptEnabled = 1: act '<b>Go Home</b> (Shared Apartment)': minut += 5 & gt 'pav_shared_apt', 'start'
 	act 'Walk to the residential area (0:02)':minut += 2 & gt 'pav_residential'
 	act 'Walk to the commercial area (0:05)':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_commercial'
-	act 'Walk to the Industrial region (0:05)':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_industrial'
+	act 'Walk to the industrial region (0:05)':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_industrial'
 	if storyline = 1 and home_owned[2] = 1: 
 		act 'Go to your apartment building':minut += 1 & gt 'pod_ezd', 'etaj_1'
 	elseif storyline = 1 and (home_owned[2] = 0 or pavSharedAptEnabled = 1):
@@ -150,7 +150,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'garages':
 	*clr & cla
 	'<center>Five Eight Estate - Garages</center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/garages.jpg"></center>'
-	'Along the back street is a row of garages for rent to the residents of the apartments. The weather in Pavlovsk can be brutal especially in the winter, so people who own a car often have a garage to put it away safely. Between the garages and the courtyard is a series of smaller storage buildings that can be rented as well as the complex maintenance building and laundry. The buildings layout leaves of a bit of a maze of walkways between them, which is a popular place for the kids to play or for teenagers to hang out.'
+	'Along the back street is a row of garages available for the residents of the apartments to rent. The weather in Pavlovsk can be brutal, especially in the winter, so people who own a car often have a garage to put it away safely. Between the garages and the courtyard is a series of smaller storage buildings that can be rented, as well as the complex''s maintenance and laundry buildings. The layout of the buildings leaves a maze of walkways between them, which are a popular place for kids to play or for teenagers to hang out.'
 	if StoryLine = 1:'Your <a href="exec:minut += 5 & gt ''gargazel''">stepfather''s garage</a> is around here somewhere.'
 	if gopnik_initiation = 1 and gopnik_initiation_day = daystart and hour = 20: act '<b>Meet Lena and Lera</b>': gt 'gopnik_initiation','initiation'
 	if ((week < 6 and hour => 18 and hour < 22) or (week >= 6 and hour >= 15 and hour < 22)) and ed_event_day ! daystart:
@@ -158,9 +158,9 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'garages':
 			if rand(0,5) = 1:
 				*clr
 				'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed4.jpg"></center>'
-				'As you''re walking around the garages, you notice a garage door open. You see a tattooed man working on a motorcycle. He looks really ruff and dangerous. He must be one of the bikers that live around the area, you have heard your mother warn you about them before.'
+				'As you''re walking around the garages, you notice an open garage door. You see a tattooed man inside working on a motorcycle. He looks really rough and dangerous - he must be one of the bikers that live around the area. You have heard your mother warn you about them before.'
 				*nl
-				'As you pass by you can hear the man talking to someone else. You throw a quick glance towards them, and you see the man showing something off to a younger man on a motorcycle, looking further at them you realize that the younger man is Valentin... They seem really into it and before they turn their attention towards you quickly move on.'
+				'As you pass by, you can hear the man talking to someone else. You throw a quick glance towards them, and you see the man showing something off to a younger man sitting on a motorcycle. Looking closer, you realize that the younger man is Valentin. They seem really into it and you quickly move on before they can turn their attention to you.'
 				seenEd = 1
 				ed_event_day = daystart
 			end
@@ -172,7 +172,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'garages':
 					garageedevent = rand(1,5)
 					if garageedevent = 1:
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed1.jpg"></center>'
-						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage you notice him working on his motorcycle as usual. You carefully approach the entrance and peek in, he has his back towards you and seems completely engrossed on whatever he is doing with the motorcycle.'
+						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage, you notice him working on his motorcycle as usual. You carefully approach the entrance and peek in, he has his back towards you and seems completely engrossed on whatever he is doing with the motorcycle.'
 						minut += 5
 						gs 'stat'
 						act 'Be on your way':gt 'pav_complex', 'garages'
@@ -180,32 +180,33 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'garages':
 							*clr & cla
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed1.jpg"></center>'
 							'You step into the garage and walk up behind him. "Hello Mr. Konstantinov."'
-							'A bit startled he quickly turns towards you, gripping his wrench tight. He looks like he is ready to hurt someone. Frightened by his actions you instinctively take a step back ready to quickly run away.'
-							'Feeling like an eternity Eduard finally relaxes, letting the wrench hang loosely in his hand, and even breaks out in a small smile, "You should be careful when approaching someone from behind <<$pcs_nickname>>."'
-							'You nod, still a bit frightened, "I''m really sorry I didn''t mean to frighten you."'
-							'"Ah, well you didn''t frighten me, but you did startle me. You never know who it might be, maybe my past coming back to haunt me." he says smiling.'
-							'"I was just passing by and wanted to say hi, anyway I should let you get back to work." you say, as you quickly leave. You don''t even notice him nod or the slight frown when he sees you scurry away.'
+							'A little startled, he quickly turns towards you, gripping his wrench tight. Frightened by his actions, you instinctively take a step back, ready to quickly run away.'
+							*nl
+							'It feels like an eternity before Eduard finally relaxes, letting the wrench hang loosely in his hand, and breaks out in a small smile. "You should be careful when approaching someone from behind <<$pcs_nickname>>."'
+							'You nod, still a little frightened, "I''m really sorry! I didn''t mean to frighten you."'
+							'"Well you didn''t frighten me, but you did startle me. You never know who it might be. My past could come back to haunt me..." he says, smiling.'
+							'"I was just passing by and wanted to say hi... I should let you get back to work..." you say as you quickly leave. You don''t notice him nod, or the slight frown when he sees you scurry away.'
 							gs 'stat'
-							act 'Back to garages': gt 'pav_complex', 'garages'
-							act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+							act 'Go back to the garages': gt 'pav_complex', 'garages'
+							act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 						end
 					elseif garageedevent = 2:
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed2.jpg"></center>'
-						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage you overhear some loud voices coming from his garage. You carefully approach the entrance and notice Eduard and Valentin working on the motorcycle. You greet them and they hardly greet you back as they''re focused working on the motorcycle.'
-						'Feeling rejected you turn around and move on.'
+						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage, you overhear some loud voices coming from his garage. You carefully approach the entrance and notice Eduard and Valentin working on the motorcycle. You greet them, but they barely acknowledge you as they''re focused on working on the motorcycle.'
+						'Feeling rejected, you turn around and move on.'
 						minut += 5
 						gs 'stat'
-						act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+						act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 					elseif garageedevent = 3:
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed2.jpg"></center>'
-						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage you overhear some loud voices coming from his garage. You carefully approach the entrance and notice Eduard and Valentin standing around the motorcycle talking, perhaps taking a break or discussing options.'
+						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage, you overhear some loud voices coming from his garage. You carefully approach the entrance and notice Eduard and Valentin standing around the motorcycle talking, perhaps taking a break or discussing options.'
 						minut += 5
 						gs 'stat'
 						act 'Approach them':
 							cla & *clr
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed3.jpg"></center>'
-							'You approach and greet them, they look up and greet you back. You spend some minutes small talking with them about what they''re doing and they try their best to answer in the most interesting way they can.'
-							'Despite their best efforts to explain you don''t really follow it all that well, they are way more technically then you can easily follow. So you smile and nod humoring them and maybe learning a thing or two.'
+							'You approach and greet them and they look up and greet you back. You spend some time small talking with them about what they''re doing and they try their best to answer in the most interesting way they can.'
+							'Despite their best efforts to explain, you don''t really follow it all that well. They are way more technically adept than you can easily follow, so you just smile and nod, humoring them and maybe learning a thing or two.'
 							gs 'stat'
 							act 'Leave':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 							act 'Talk to Valentin':
@@ -213,169 +214,167 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'garages':
 								'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed7.jpg"></center>'
 								'You excuse yourself to Eduard and ask if you could borrow Valentin for a second. Eduard grins as he pushes Valentin towards you.'
 								'The two of you walk away to the entrance and talk to each other for a few minutes about what happened at school today.'
-								'After a few minutes pass by Valentin interrupts you. "Yeah maybe we can talk about it later? I really want to finish the repairs on my bike before it gets too late."'
-								'You nod. "Sure talk to you later." He gives you a friendly shoulder rub then hurries back inside. You wave to Ed and then leave the garage.'
+								'A few minutes pass by before Valentin interrupts you. "Yeah, maybe we can talk about it later? I really want to finish the repairs on my bike before it gets too late."'
+								'You nod. "Sure, talk to you later." He gives you a friendly shoulder rub then hurries back inside. You wave to Eduard and then leave the garage.'
 								minut += 5
 								npc_rel['A158'] += 1
 								gs 'stat'
-								act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+								act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 							end
 						end
 					elseif garageedevent = 4:
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed1.jpg"></center>'
-						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage you notice him working on his motorcycle as usual. You carefully approach the entrance and peek in, he has his back towards you and seems completely engrossed on whatever he is doing with the motorcycle.'
+						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage, you notice him working on his motorcycle as usual. You carefully approach the entrance and peek in. He has his back towards you and seems completely engrossed in whatever he is doing with the motorcycle.'
 						minut += 5
 						gs 'stat'
 						act 'Be on your way':gt 'pav_complex', 'garages'
 						act 'Say hi':
 							cla & *clr
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed6.jpg"></center>'
-							'You step into the garage and walk up behind him, he turns as you walk in. "Hello Mr. Konstantinov."'
-							'He gives you a friendly smile. "Hello <<$pcs_nickname>>, but please call me Ed."'
-							'You nod and smile at that. "Okay, hi Ed."'
+							'You step into the garage and walk up behind him. He turns as you walk in. "Hello Mr. Konstantinov."'
+							'He gives you a friendly smile. "Hello <<$pcs_nickname>>. Please, call me Ed."'
+							'You nod and smile. "Okay. Hi Ed."'
 							'He chuckles slightly. "What can I do for you <<$pcs_nickname>>? Anushka isn''t here and I have no clue where she is, like most days." He adds with a bit of a frown.'
 							gs 'stat'
 							act 'Nothing':
 								cla & *clr
 								minut += 1
 								'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed1.jpg"></center>'
-								'You shake your head slightly. "Nothing, I was just passing by and saw you. So thought I would stop and say hi, well anyways I should let you get back to work and I got things I need to do." With that you give him a slight wave then leave.'
+								'You shake your head slightly. "Nothing, I was just passing by and saw you, so thought I would stop and say hi. I''ve got things to do, so I should let you get back to work." With that, you give him a slight wave and leave.'
 								gs 'stat'
-								act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+								act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 							end
 							act 'Talk':
 								cla & *clr
 								minut += 10
 								'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed6.jpg"></center>'
-								'You shrug slightly. "I just thought you might want to talk." you tell him.'
-								'He nods and takes a seat on his tool box. "Sure I got a few minutes, what''s on your mind?"'
-								'You walk over and look at his bike and then gently lean against it, being real careful not to knock it over. "How are things at home?"'
-								'He laughs slightly at the question. "Well if you are really curious, the wife is still a shrew, the boys are... well preteen boys so nothing but trouble and Nush, well I wouldn''t know. I rarely see her, I just hope she is staying out of trouble." Then he snorts. "Or I should say, not getting into more trouble than she can handle. What about yourself? Everything ok at home, doing well in school?"'
-								'You spend some time telling him about home and school, he seems far more interested than you expected. After about half of hour of pleasant conversation you excuse yourself and tell him not to work too late, as you leave.'
+								'You shrug slightly. "I just thought you might want to talk is all." you tell him.'
+								'He nods and takes a seat on his toolbox. "Sure, I''ve got a few minutes. What''s on your mind?"'
+								'You walk over and look at his bike, then gently lean against it, being careful not to knock it over. "How are things at home?"'
+								'He laughs slightly at the question. "Well if you''re really curious, the wife is still a shrew, the boys are... well preteen boys, so are nothing but trouble and Nush... Well, I wouldn''t know. I rarely see her, I just hope she''s staying out of trouble." Then he snorts. "Or I should say, not getting into more trouble than she can handle. What about yourself? Everything okay at home, doing well in school?"'
+								'You spend some time telling him about home and school and he seems far more interested than you expected. After around half an hour of pleasant conversation, you excuse yourself and tell him not to work too late as you leave.'
 								gs 'stat'
-								act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+								act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 								act 'Keep talking':
 									cla & *clr
 									minut += 15
 									'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed6.jpg"></center>'
 									edchat = rand(1,13)	
 									if edchat = 1:
-										'"Your daughter is lots of fun, has anyone ever mentioned that?" you gloat a little.'
+										'"Your daughter is lots of fun, has anyone ever told you that?" you gloat a little.'
 										'"So what''s my daughter up to these days?" Eduard causally asks while working on his bike.'
 										'"Oh, you know... The usual teenage stuff... Nothing serious." you smile and give him a sly wink.'
 										'"As long as I don''t get anyone angry knocking on my door..." he calmly replies.'
 									elseif edchat = 2:
-										'"I''ve been trying to get to know your daughter a little bit better but I have a hard time getting through to her, mind if you share a fond memory of her with me?" you ask.'
-										'"No at all," Eduard shines up, "There was this time, I remember some boys were picking on her..." he stops and begins to laugh, "She went home grabbed a bucket full of water to soak them. But what she didn''t think of was that the bucket would be too heavy so just as she lifted the bucket, she lost her balance and got soaked all over."'
-										'The two of you start to laugh loudly, "I still remember her barging in, soaking wet..." Eduard says as you notice tears forming from laughter.'
+										'"I''ve been trying to get to know your daughter a little bit better, but I have a hard time getting through to her. Do you mind if you share a fond memory of her with me?" you ask.'
+										'"No at all." Eduard shines up. "There was this time, I remember some boys were picking on her..." he stops and begins to laugh. "So she went home and grabbed a bucket full of water to soak them. She didn''t think that the bucket would be that heavy, however. When she lifted it, she lost her balance and drenched herself instead."'
+										'The two of you start to laugh loudly. "I still remember her barging in, soaking wet..." Eduard says as you notice tears forming from laughter.'
 									elseif edchat = 3:
 										'"Have you seen Anushka today?" you ask Eduard as he''s working on his bike.'
-										'"Can''t say I really have... Why, is she up to something?" he stops and looks sternly at you.'
-										'"N-No, not at all..." you gulp, "I was just wondering if you''ve seen her?"'
-										'"Sorry if I scared you... I just want her to be safe you know. Keep an eye out for her okay, I know she can be all over the place and gets in trouble a lot..." Eduard tells you before going back to work on his bike.'
+										'"Can''t say I really have. Why, is she up to something?" he stops and looks sternly at you.'
+										'"N-No, not at all..." you gulp. "I was just wondering if you''ve seen her?"'
+										'"Sorry if I scared you... I just want her to be safe you know. Keep an eye out for her, okay? I know she can be all over the place and gets in trouble a lot." Eduard tells you before going back to work on his bike.'
 									elseif edchat = 4:
 										'"May I ask you a question, <<$pcs_nickname>>?" Eduard wipes his hands as he takes a break from working on the bike.'
-										'You nod, a bit afraid what he''ll ask...'
+										'You nod, a bit afraid of what he''ll ask...'
 										if grupTipe = 4:
-											'"So I''ve heard some rumors that you two were about and doing some shit round town? Do I need to have a talk with you and my lovely daughter?" he crosses his arms awaiting an answer.'
-											'You shake your head, "No, no, no, we''re staying out of trouble. We''d never do anything to upset you. I promise."'
-											'"Good, keep it that way... Sometimes you kids drive me crazy..." he shortly reply.'
+											'"So I''ve heard some rumors that you two were doing some shit around town? Do I need to have a talk with you and my lovely daughter?" He crosses his arms, awaiting an answer.'
+											'You shake your head. "No! No, we''re staying out of trouble. We''d never do anything to upset you. I promise."'
+											'"Good! Keep it that way... Sometimes you kids drive me crazy..." he shortly replies.'
 										else
-											'"How come you and my daughter are friends? Don''t take this the wrong way, but you''re totally different from each other."'
-											'You stand and ponder for a while, "I don''t actually know. We just click, it''s hard to explain, but being around your daughter is a blast."'
-											'"Hopefully you''ll be a good influence on her. And be careful, don''t let her corrupt you." he smiles and winks.'
+											'"How are you and my daughter friends? Don''t take this the wrong way, but you don''t exactly strike me as the type of person she calls her friend."'
+											'You stand and ponder for a while. "I don''t know. we just click. It''s hard to explain, but being around your daughter is a blast."'
+											'"Hopefully, you''ll be a good influence on her then. And be careful, don''t let her corrupt you." he smiles and winks.'
 										end
 									elseif edchat = 5:
-										'"I don''t know how to say this..." you look a bit frighteningly at Eduard, "But your boys have been spying on me."'
-										'"Spying in what way?" Eduard asks.'
-										'"Well," you squirm a little, "They like to watch me, when I''m taking a shower at your place..." you blush.'
-										'Eduard stops and thinks for a while, "Again?! Those damn boys will be the death of me... Tell you what don''t worry I''ll have a long discussion with them about it not being okay... Seems like I''ll need to show them what happens when they overstep their boundaries..."'
+										'"I don''t know how to say this..." you stammer as you look at Eduard fearfully. "But your boys have been spying on me."'
+										'"Spying? In what way?" Eduard asks.'
+										'"Well..." you squirm a little, "They like to watch me when I''m taking a shower at your place..." you blush.'
+										'Eduard stops and thinks for a while. "Again?! Those damn boys will be the death of me... Don''t worry, I''ll have a long discussion with them about it not being okay... Seems like I''ll need to show them what happens when they overstep their boundaries..."'
 									elseif edchat = 6:
 										'"Those damn kids are sitting in front of a computer all day just staring at the screen..." Eduard rants.'
 										'"What''s the problem?" you ask.'
-										'"I''ll tell you what''s the problem... Those brats are joining a sports team. I don''t care which one but they''re not sitting on their asses anymore..." Eduard keeps on ranting.'
+										'"I''ll tell you what''s the problem... Those brats are joining a sports team. I don''t care which one, but they''re not sitting around on their asses anymore..." Eduard keeps on ranting.'
 									elseif edchat = 7:
-										'Eduard looks worryingly at you, "Has Anushka mentioned anything about her brothers?"'
-										'"No, not really. She usually doesn''t mention them that often..." you reply honestly.'
-										'"Oh, okay. They''ve been going at each other lately so I was just wondering if you''ve heard anything..." Eduard shrugs his shoulders.'
+										'Eduard looks worryingly at you. "Has Anushka mentioned anything about her brothers?"'
+										'"No, not really. She usually doesn''t mention them that often." you reply honestly.'
+										'"Oh, okay. They''ve been going at each other lately, so I was just wondering if you''ve heard anything." Eduard says before he shrugs his shoulders.'
 									elseif edchat = 8:
-										'"I don''t want to be rude, but what does your wife act like that, you know like a bitch?" you curiously ask.'
-										'He sighs, "Look, I know she sometimes act like she has a stick up her ass but she''s got the heart at the right place... You just don''t see it that often..."'
+										'"I don''t want to be rude, but what does your wife act like that, you know, like a bitch?" you curiously ask.'
+										'He sighs loudly. "Look, I know she sometimes acts like she has a stick up her ass, but she''s got her heart in the right place. You just don''t see it that often."'
 									elseif edchat = 9:
-										'"So I was heading over to see Anushka and I saw your wife talking with some people outside the store..."'
-										'Eduard starts laughing, "Ah yes, the good ol'' gossip gang. They were probably talking some shit, thinking they''re the center of attention... But it''s quite sad to be honest."'
+										'"I was heading over to see Anushka and I saw your wife talking with some people outside the store..."'
+										'Eduard starts laughing. "Ah yes, the good old gossip gang. They were probably talking shit, thinking they''re the center of attention. It''s quite sad to be honest."'
 									elseif edchat = 10:
 										'"That damn, fucking... Always on my ass. One day I''ll fucking..." Eduard is muttering to himself...'
 										'"I-Is everything okay?" you quietly ask, afraid of his reaction.'
-										'He mutters on, "Is everything okay... Such a stupid question, everyone always want to know what is on Eduard''s mind. Can''t be alone for a moment..."'
-										'Noticing he''s deep inside his thoughts, you turn around and begin to leave as you hear, "Oh sorry <<$pcs_nickname>>, I''m having an off day today..."'
+										'He mutters on. "Is everything okay... Such a stupid question, everyone always want to know what''s on Eduard''s mind. Can''t be alone for a fucking minute..."'
+										'Noticing he''s deep inside his thoughts, you turn around and begin to leave before you hear "Oh sorry <<$pcs_nickname>>. I''m just having a bad day today."'
 									elseif edchat = 11:
-										'"How many tattoo''s do you have?" you curiously ask.'
-										'Eduard smiles and starts looking all over his body, "Did this one when I was thirteen, this one in jail..." he stops and looks at you, "More than a dozen, can''t even remember how many I''ve done."'
+										'"How many tattoos do you have?" you curiously ask.'
+										'Eduard smiles and starts looking all over his body.` "Got this one when I was thirteen, got this one in jail..." he trails off and looks at you. "I can''t remember how many I''ve done, but it''s at least a dozen."'
 										'"Cool!" you reply.'
 										if tattCount = 0:
-											'He sighs a bit. "No, it''s not cool. But they can be meaningful, if you get one. Make sure you get one for the right reasons and not just to be cool, ok?" he poorly tries his best to discourage you to get one.'
+											'He sighs. "No, it''s not cool. But they can be meaningful if you get one. Make sure you get one for the right reasons and not just to be ''cool'', okay?" he says in a poor attempt to discourage you.'
 										elseif tattCount > 0 and tatarm = 0 and tathand = 0 and tatwrist = 0 and tatunder = 0 and tatupb = 0 and tatside = 0 and tatlech = 0 and tatneck = 0 and tatlip = 0 and tatleg = 0 and tatankle = 0 and tatfce = 0 and tatchst = 0:
-											'You start to remove your clothes to show him your special tattoo, he holds up his hands partially blocking his own view. "What the hell are you doing?" He asks.'
-											'"I was just going to show you my tattoo, I got." You respond.'
-											'He snorts and a laugh and shakes his head. "That''s ok, I believe you. I swear you are almost as bad as Nush, you would think she was allergic to clothes or something, the number of times she walks around the apartment naked..." he trails off, muttering something about girls.'
+											'You start to remove your clothes to show him your special tattoo and he holds up his hands, partially blocking his own view. "What the hell are you doing?!" he exclaims.'
+											'"I was just going to show you my tattoo..." you innocently respond.'
+											'He snorts a laugh and shakes his head. "That''s okay, I believe you. I swear you''re almost as bad as Nush. You would think she was allergic to clothes or something with the number of times she walks around the apartment naked..." he trails off, muttering something about girls.'
 										else
-											'You proudly show off yours to him.'
-											'Taken aback a bit, "Oh you''ve already got one. It''s a great feeling, I remember getting my first one and then it became like a drug, I was hooked."'
-											'You nod your head, "I''m already thinking about doing another one."'
-											'"Just remember to do something cool and not something horrible that you''ll regret later on." he gives you advice on it.'
+											'You proudly show off your own tattoo to him and he''s taken a back a little. "Oh you''ve already got one. It''s a great feeling, isn''t it? I remember getting my first one and it was like a drug. I was hooked."'
+											'You nod your head. "I''m already thinking about getting another one."'
+											'"Just remember to do something tasteful or cool and not something horrible that you''ll regret later on." he advices.'
 										end
 									elseif edchat = 12:
 										'"So I was just harassed by the local police..." you complain to Eduard.'
-										'"Ah yes, our finest," he spits on the ground out of spite, "They''re always harassing people, looking for a bribe. I''ve always hated this cities police force, even when I was young they were out to get me."' 
+										'"Ah yes, our finest." he says and spits on the ground out of spite. "They''re always harassing people, looking for a bribe. I''ve always hated this city''s police force. Even when I was young, they were out to get me."' 
 									elseif edchat = 13:
-										'"Tell me <<$pcs_nickname>>, is that place over by old factory still left?" Eduard curiously asks.'
-										'You ponder for a while, "Don''t really know which one you mean but no one really hangs over there anymore. The only ones that remain are the drug dealers..."'
-										'"That''s a shame, we used to have that as a meeting place... Lots of crazy stuff happened there, the fights, the women, the dru-..." he clears his throat, "Yeah, those were great times." his mind travels away somewhere as he gets a little smirk.'
+										'"Tell me <<$pcs_nickname>>, is that place over by the old factory still there?" Eduard curiously asks.'
+										'You ponder for a while. "I don''t really know which one you mean, but no one really hangs out over there anymore. The only ones that remain are the drug dealers..."'
+										'"That''s a shame, we used to use that as a meeting place. Lots of crazy stuff happened there. The fights, the women, the dru-..." he clears his throat, "Yeah, those were great times..." His mind travels away somewhere as a little smirk appears on his face.'
 									end
-									act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+									act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 								end
 							end
-							act 'Want to learn about working on motorcycles':
+							act 'Work on motorcycle':
 								cla & *clr
 								minut += 60
 								hndiwrk_exp += rand(3,5)
 								'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed5.jpg"></center>'
 								if LearntAboutMotorcycle = 0:
 									LearntAboutMotorcycle = 1
-									'You walk up to his bike and pick up a random tool. "Actually I was wondering if maybe you can teach me a little about working on motorcycles." You say hopefully.'
-									'He arches a brow and seems slightly surprised by that, then he shrugs. "Sure if you want to learn."'
+									'You walk up to his bike and pick up a random tool. "Actually, I was wondering if maybe you can teach me a little about working on motorcycles?" you ask hopefully.'
+									'He arches a brow and seems slightly surprised, but shrugs. "Sure, if you want to learn."'
 									'You nod enthusiastically. "I do, I really do. I think all girls should learn the basics, in case we break down out on the road somewhere with no one around."'
 									*nl
-									'He smiles at that and looks... proud you think. "Couldn''t have said it better myself." With that he explains how the motorcycles works in broad basic terms, explains some of the tools and then puts you to work on some easy stuff on the bike. But you do learn stuff, before long though you are covered in grease and grim.'
-									'He chuckles and shakes his head at how you look. "Ok I think that is enough for now, why don''t you go get cleaned up. We can continue some other time." You put down the tools, smile and thank him for helping you, then leave.'
+									'He smiles and looks... proud. "Couldn''t have said it better myself." He then starts explaining how the motorcycle works in basic terms, explains some of the tools and then puts you to work on some easy stuff on the bike. You do learn stuff and before long, you are covered in grease and grime.'
+									'He chuckles and shakes his head. "Okay, I think that''s enough for now. Why don''t you go get cleaned up? We can continue some other time." You put down the tools, smile and thank him for helping you before leaving.'
 								else
-									'You walk up to his bike and pick up a tool. "Actually I was wondering if maybe you can teach me a little more about working on motorcycles." You say hopefully.'
-									'He nods a bit. "I would be happy to show you more, grab that wrench over there." He points at a wrench laying on a table.'
-									'You nod enthusiastically. "I do, I really do. I think all girls should learn the basics, in case we break down out on the road somewhere with no one around."'
+									'You walk up to his bike and pick up a tool. "Actually, I was wondering if you could teach me a little more about working on motorcycles?" you ask hopefully.'
+									'He nods. "I would be happy to show you more. Grab that wrench over there." He points at a wrench lying on a table.'
 									*nl
-									'With that he puts you to work on some easy stuff on the bike. But you do learn stuff, before long though you are covered in grease and grim.'
-									'He chuckles and shakes his head at how you look. "Ok I think that is enough for now, why don''t you go get cleaned up. We can continue some other time." You put down the tools, smile and thank him for helping you, then leave.'
+									'He puts you to work on some easy stuff on the bike. You do learn stuff and before long, you are covered in grease and grime.'
+									'He chuckles and shakes his head. "Okay, I think that''s enough for now. Why don''t you go get cleaned up? We can continue some other time." You put down the tools, smile and thank him for helping you before leaving.'
 								end
 								gs 'stat'
-								act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+								act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 							end
 						end
 					elseif garageedevent = 5:
 						'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed0.jpg"></center>'
-						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage you hear some noises coming from his garage. You carefully approach the entrance and notice Valentin kneeling next to his bike, looking at it.'
+						'As you walk past Eduard''s garage, you hear some noises coming from his garage. You carefully approach the entrance and notice Valentin kneeling next to his bike, looking at it.'
 						minut += 5
 						gs 'stat'
 						act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 						act 'Approach him':
 							cla & *clr
 							'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed6.jpg"></center>'
-							'You approach and stand next to his bike facing him. "What''s up Valentin?"'
-							'He throws down a towel he was using to clean up a bit with. "It''s this damn bike, I don''t know why it is cutting out."'
+							'You approach and stand next to his bike, facing him. "What''s up Valentin?"'
+							'He throws down a towel he was using to clean up. "It''s this damn bike, I don''t know why it keeps cutting out."'
 							'You can tell he is really stressed and pissed off. "Is there anything I can do to help?"'
-							'He glares at you a moment. "You know how to rebuild an engine on a bike and have the money to buy all the parts?"'
-							'You shake your head. "No sorry, but maybe I can take your mind off it."'
-							'His face softens a bit and he seems curious. "How exactly?" It doesn''t take a mind reader to know like most teenage boys, all he is thinking about now is fucking you.'
+							'He glares at you. "You know how to rebuild an engine on a bike and have the money to buy all the parts?"'
+							'You shake your head. "No, but maybe I can take your mind off it?"'
+							'His face softens a litte and he seems curious. "How exactly?" he asks rhetorically.'
 							gs 'stat'
 							gs 'willpower', 'sex', 'resist'
 							if will_cost <= pcs_willpwr:
@@ -386,11 +385,11 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'garages':
 									npc_rel['A158'] += 1
 									gs 'stat'
 									'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/ed/ed6.jpg"></center>'
-									'You bite your lip, you know what he wants but you don''t want to. "We could you know just talk and hang out if you want."'
-									'He sighs obviously a little disappointed. "I guess a little break wouldn''t hurt, so what''s up with you?"'
-									'The two of you start talking and before long he is fairly relaxed, after about half a hour. During a lull in the conversation he says. "I should really get back to this, thanks for hanging out, see ya later." With that he goes back to working on his bike and you take the hint.'
+									'You bite your lip, you know what he wants but you don''t want to do it. "We could, you know just talk and hang out if you want."'
+									'He sighs, obviously a little disappointed. "I guess a little break wouldn''t hurt. So what''s up with you?"'
+									'The two of you start talking, and before long he is fairly relaxed. "I really should get back to this, but thanks for hanging out. See you later." With that, he goes back to working on his bike and you take the hint and leave.'
 									gs 'stat'
-									act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+									act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 								end
 							else
 								act 'Talk to Valentin (<font color="red"><<will_cost>> Willpower</font>)': '<br><font color="red">You don''t have enough willpower to use this action.</font>'
@@ -403,29 +402,29 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'garages':
 								gs 'bras', 'remove'
 								gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5, 'exhibitionism'
 								gs 'stat'
-								'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val1.jpg"></center>'
-								'Like all the other boys he just wants you for your body, but what the fuck. It''s not like you don''t enjoy it too and you are in the mood to get your brains fucked out. So you grin at him and start undressing, you do it very slowly.'
+								'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val/val1.jpg"></center>'
+								'You grin at him and start undressing very slowly in a teasing manner.'
 								if $pantyworntype ! 'none':
-									'You strip down to your underwear, teasing him the whole time. Tossing your clothes aside and loving how you have his complete attention, you can already see the bulge in his pants. You kneel down next to him.'
+									'You strip down to your underwear. Tossing your clothes aside, you can already see the bulge in his pants and kneel down next to him.'
 								else
-									'You strip down, teasing him the whole time. Tossing your clothes aside and loving how you have his complete attention, you can already see the bulge in his pants. You kneel down next to him.'
+									'You strip down naked. Tossing your clothes aside, you can already see the bulge in his pants and kneel down next to him.'
 								end
 								gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5, 'exhibitionism'
 								gs 'stat'
 								act 'Unbutton his pants':
 									cla & *clr
 									gs 'stat'
-									'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val2.jpg"></center>'
-									'You pull off his shirt and push him back so he is sitting back on his heels. Then you start to unbutton his pants, while you feel one of his hands slide between your legs and begins to rub your pussy, getting it nice and wet.'
+									'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val/val2.jpg"></center>'
+									'You pull off his shirt and push him back so he is sitting back on his heels. You start to unbutton his pants while you feel one of his hands slide between your legs and start to rub your pussy, getting it nice and wet.'
 									gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5, 'exhibitionism'
 									gs 'stat'
 									act 'Suck his dick':
 										cla & *clr
 										gs 'boyStat', 'A154'
 										gs 'stat'
-										'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val3.jpg"></center>'
-										'You pull his pants almost down to his knees, then you lean forward. Opening your mouth you take his <<dick>>cm <<$dick_girth>> dick into your mouth and lock your lips around his shaft. While you tongue presses even harder against the shaft of his cock, you start bobbing your head up and down sucking his dick. Before long he starts moaning, soon he places a hand on top of your head and starts forcing you to take his dick deeper into your mouth.'
-										'Then he pulls your head up and his dick out of your mouth. He turns you around, pushing your legs slightly apart. You feel the head of his cock rubbing against your slits, making you even wetter.'
+										'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val/val3.jpg"></center>'
+										'You pull his pants down and lean forward. Opening your mouth, you take his <<dick>>cm <<$dick_girth>> dick into your mouth and lock your lips around his shaft. Your tongue presses hard against the shaft of his cock as you start bobbing your head up and down, sucking his dick. Before long, he starts moaning and places a hand on top of your head, forcing you to take his dick deeper into your mouth.'
+										'He then pulls your head up and his dick pops out of your mouth. He turns you around, pushing your legs slightly apart, and you feel the head of his cock rubbing against your slit, making you even wetter.'
 										gs 'arousal', 'bj', 10, 'unknown'
 										gs 'stat'
 										act 'Let him fuck you':
@@ -433,33 +432,33 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'garages':
 											gs 'panties', 'remove'
 											gs 'boyStat', 'A154'
 											gs 'stat'
-											'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val4.jpg"></center>'
-											'Once he is sure you are good and wet, he slides his <<dick>>cm <<$dick_girth>> cock into your warm pussy. Which elicits a moan from both of you, he goes slow and not too deep at first. As he feels you getting wetter and moaning louder as he starts fucking you a little harder and slowly works himself balls deep into your twat.'
+											'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val/val4.jpg"></center>'
+											'Once he is sure you are good and wet, he slides his <<dick>>cm <<$dick_girth>> cock into your warm pussy, which elicits a moan from both of you. He goes slow and not too deep at first, but as he feels you getting wetter and moaning louder, he starts fucking you a little harder and slowly works himself balls deep into you.'
 											gs 'arousal', 'vaginal', 10, 'unknown'
 											act 'More':
 												cla & *clr
 												gs 'boyStat', 'A154'
 												gs 'stat'
-												'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val5.jpg"></center>'
-												'Once you are really into it, like a typical guy, he pulls out of you soaking wet cunt and you feel the head of his cock pressing against your asshole. Once he is sure he has it lined up, he pushes forward and the head of his dick pops into your ass, causing you gasp slightly in pain.'
+												'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val/val5.jpg"></center>'
+												'Once you''re really into it, he pulls out of you and you feel the head of his dick pressing against your asshole. Once he is sure he has it lined up, he pushes forward and his dick pops into your ass, causing you gasp slightly in pain.'
 												*nl
-												'Then he slowly start pushing his <<dick>>cm <<$dick_girth>> dick into your ass, stopping when you start to pull away. He slowly begins fucking your ass. As your moans turn back to pleasure, he starts pushing a little deeper and going a little faster.'
+												'He slowly start pushing his <<dick>>cm <<$dick_girth>> dick into your ass, stopping when you start to pull away. He slowly begins fucking your ass, and as your moans turn back to pleasure, he starts pushing a little deeper and going a little faster.'
 												gs 'arousal', 'anal', 10, 'unknown'
 												gs 'stat'
 												act 'Finish':
 													cla & *clr
 													gs 'stat'
-													'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val6.jpg"></center>'
-													'He starts grunting as he fucks your ass and suddenly pulls out of you. He stands up and pulls you up to your knees, turning to face him. As you do, he is already jerking off and within moments warm cum starts spurting out of his dick and covering your tits in sperm. After a couple of more spurts of cum, the spray stops and he moans a sigh of relief.'
+													'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/garage/val/val6.jpg"></center>'
+													'He starts grunting as he fucks your ass and suddenly pulls out of you. He stands up and pulls you up to your knees, turning to face him. As you do, he is already jerking off and within seconds, warm cum starts spurting out of his dick and splattering across your tits. After a few more spurts, he moans a loud sigh of relief.'
 													*nl
-													'He grins down at your cum covered tits grinning at his handy work. Then he cleans himself up and gets dressed as you do the same. Once you are both fully dressed again, he turns to you. "Thanks <<$pcs_nickname>> I needed that, but I should get back to work on my bike. Talk to you tomorrow at school kay." Then he starts working on his bike again. You take one last look around to make sure you didn''t forget anything and leave.'
+													'He looks down at your cum covered tits, grinning at his handiwork, before he cleans himself up and gets dressed as you do the same. Once you are both dressed, he turns to you. "Thanks <<$pcs_nickname>>. I needed that, but I should get back to work. Talk to you later." He turns and starts working on his bike again. You take one last look around to make sure you didn''t forget anything and leave.'
 													gs 'arousal', 'foreplay', 5, 'unknown'
 													gs 'cum_call', 'breasts', $boy, 1
 													gs 'arousal', 'end'
 													gs 'underwear', 'wear'
 													gs 'clothing', 'wear_last_worn'
 													gs 'stat'
-													act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+													act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 												end
 											end
 										end
@@ -475,7 +474,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'garages':
 	end
 	if $CURACTS = '':
 		gs 'stat'
-		act 'Go to the courtyard':minut += 2 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+		act 'Go back to the courtyard':minut += 2 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 		if StoryLine = 1: act 'Go to your stepfather''s garage': minut += 5 & gt 'gargazel'
 	end
 end

+ 16 - 16
locations/pav_complexb2.qsrc

@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'etaj_1':
 	'<center>A dirty and poorly maintained stairwell, the same as any other in your town.</center>'
 
 	'There''s a <a href="exec: gt ''pav_complexb2'', ''housemates''">list</a> of the people who live here on the wall.'
-	'Someone put up some <a href="exec:gt ''pav_complexb2'',''pod_objava''">advertisements</a> on the wall, near the entrance.'
+	'Someone put up some <a href="exec:gt ''pav_complexb2'',''pod_objava''">advertisements</a> on the wall near the entrance.'
 	act 'Leave the building': minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 	act 'Go up to the second floor': minut +=1 & gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_2'
 	act 'Take the elevator': gt 'pav_complexb2','lift','etaj_1'
@@ -89,7 +89,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'etaj_4':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center>4th floor of the apartment building</center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/etaj4.jpg"></center>'
-	'<center>The fourth floor stairwell was renovated not long ago, but some hoodlums already sprayed graffiti on the walls.</center>'
+	'<center>The fourth floor stairwell was renovated not long ago, but some hoodlums have already sprayed graffiti on the walls.</center>'
 	act 'Go down to the third floor': minut +=1 & gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_3'
 	act 'Go up to the fifth floor': minut +=1 & gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_5'
 	if anushkaFirstvisit ! 0:
@@ -106,7 +106,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'etaj_5':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center>Floor #5</center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/etaj5.jpg"></center>'
-	'<center>The fifth floor stairwell looks much like most of the other floors, though it has a final set of stairs at the other end of the hall that go up to the roof.</center>'
+	'<center>The fifth floor stairwell looks like most of the other floors, but it has a final set of stairs at the other end of the hall that go up to the roof.</center>'
 	act 'Go down to the fourth floor': minut +=1 & gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_4'
 	act 'Go up to the roof': minut +=1 & gt 'pav_complexb2', 'roof'
 	act 'Take the elevator': gt 'pav_complexb2','lift','etaj_5'
@@ -145,7 +145,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'roof':
 		end
 	end
 	if $clothingworntype = 'swimwear' or $clothingworntype = 'nude' or $clothingworntype = 'beach':
-		act 'Change back into clothes':
+		act 'Change back into your clothes':
 			minut += 5
 			gs 'underwear', 'wear'
 			gs 'clothing', 'wear_last_worn'
@@ -174,7 +174,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'roof':
 				elseif krem > 0:
 					krem -= 1
 					pcs_tan += 3
-					'You put the sunblock on your body and lied down on the roof to sunbathe.'
+					'You put the sunblock on your body and lie down on the roof to sunbathe.'
 				end
 
 				act 'Get Up':gt 'pav_complexb2', 'roof'
@@ -194,18 +194,18 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'lift':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/elevator.jpg"></center>'
 	'<center>The elevator in the apartment building is quite old. The building supervisor does his best to keep it running, but it breaks down a lot. Someone put up a <a href="exec:gt ''pav_complexb2'',''elev_objava''">notification</a> in the elevator.</center>'
-	act 'Push button: floor 1': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_1'
-	act 'Push button: floor 2': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_2'
-	act 'Push button: floor 3': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_3'
-	act 'Push button: floor 4': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_4'
-	act 'Push button: floor 5': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_5'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 1': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_1'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 2': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_2'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 3': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_3'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 4': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_4'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 5': gt 'pav_complexb2','etaj_5'
 	pod_lift_ev = RAND(0,100)
 	if pod_lift_ev <=5:
 		*clr & cla
 		minut +=1
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/event/elevator'+rand(1,2)+'.jpg"></center>'
-		'When the elevator door opens, you see a naked woman standing in it! She looks at you in panic and is frantically pressing all the elevator buttons. You''re too baffled to do anything until it''s too late. The door is already closed again, and the elevator is moving away from you.'
+		'When the elevator door opens, you are surprised to see a naked woman standing in it. She looks at you in panic and is frantically pressing all the elevator buttons. You''re too baffled to do anything until it''s too late. The door has already closed, and the elevator is moving away from you.'
 		act 'Leave': gt 'pav_complexb2',$ARGS[1]
 	elseif pod_lift_ev <=10 or liftnotwork_count <=0:
 		*clr & cla
@@ -214,7 +214,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'lift':
 		liftnotwork_count -= 1
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/liftnotwork.jpg"></center>'
-		'The building supervisor put a sign on the elevator: "Dear tenants, the elevator is out of order for today. Don''t worry, I should have it working again by tomorrow!"'
+		'The building supervisor has put a sign on the elevator: "Dear tenants, the elevator is out of order for today. Don''t worry, I should have it working again by tomorrow!"'
 		act 'Leave': gt 'pav_complexb2',$ARGS[1]
 	end
 	killvar 'pod_lift_ev'
@@ -242,10 +242,10 @@ end
 if $ARGS[0] = 'anushkaFirst':
 	menu_off = 1
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/shared/photos/big144.jpg"></center>'
-	'As you walk into the building you nearly run into Anushka. "Hey <<$pcs_nickname>> whats up?"'
-	'A bit surprised to see her but not disappointed, you were just wandering around for the hell of it. "Just killing time, kinda bored you know?"'
-	'She nods a bit and finishes checking the mail. "Yeah I know how that is, hey want to come up to my place and hang out?"'
-	act 'Can''t, got to go.': minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
+	'As you walk into the building, you nearly run into Anushka. "Hey <<$pcs_nickname>>, what''s up?"'
+	'You''re a little surprised to see her, but not disappointed. "Bored and just killing time, you know?"'
+	'She nods and finishes checking the mail. "Yeah, I know the feeling. Want to come up to my place and hang out?"'
+	act 'I can''t': minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 	act 'Sure': minut += 2 & gt 'anushapt', 'firstvisit'
 end
 

+ 12 - 12
locations/pav_complexb3.qsrc

@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'etaj_1':
 	'<center>A dirty and poorly maintained stairwell, the same as any other in your town.</center>'
 
 	'There''s a <a href="exec: dynamic $housemates">list</a> of the people who live here on the wall.'
-	'Someone put up some <a href="exec:gt ''pav_complexb3'',''pod_objava''">advertisements</a> on the wall, near the entrance.'
+	'Someone put up some <a href="exec:gt ''pav_complexb3'',''pod_objava''">advertisements</a> on the wall near the entrance.'
 	act 'Leave the building': minut += 1 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
 	act 'Go up to the second floor': minut +=1 &  gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_2'
 	act 'Take the elevator': gt 'pav_complexb3','lift','etaj_1'
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'etaj_4':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center>4th floor of the apartment building</center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/etaj4.jpg"></center>'
-	'<center>The fourth floor stairwell was renovated not long ago, but some hoodlums already sprayed graffiti on the walls.</center>'
+	'<center>The fourth floor stairwell was renovated not long ago, but some hoodlums have already sprayed graffiti on the walls.</center>'
 	act 'Go down to the third floor': minut +=1 & gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_3'
 	act 'Go up to the fifth floor': minut +=1 & gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_5'
 	if seenAd = 0:
@@ -109,7 +109,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'etaj_5':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center>Floor #5</center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/etaj5.jpg"></center>'
-	'<center>The fifth floor stairwell looks much like most of the other floors, though it has a final set of stairs at the other end of the hall that go up to the roof.</center>'
+	'<center>The fifth floor stairwell looks like most of the other floors, but it has a final set of stairs at the other end of the hall that go up to the roof.</center>'
 	act 'Go down to the fourth floor': minut +=1 & gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_4'
 	act 'Go up to the roof': minut +=1 & gt 'pav_complexb3', 'roof'
 	act 'Take the elevator': gt 'pav_complexb3','lift','etaj_5'
@@ -148,7 +148,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'roof':
 		end
 	end
 	if $clothingworntype = 'swimwear' or $clothingworntype = 'beach' or $clothingworntype = 'nude':
-		act 'Change back into clothes':
+		act 'Change back into your clothes':
 			minut += 5
 			gs 'underwear', 'wear'
 			gs 'clothing', 'wear_last_worn'
@@ -177,7 +177,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'roof':
 				elseif krem > 0:
 					krem -= 1
 					pcs_tan += 3
-					'You put the sunblock on your body and lied down on the roof to sunbathe.'
+					'You put the sunblock on your body and lie down on the roof to sunbathe.'
 				end
 
 				act 'Get Up':gt 'pav_complexb3', 'roof'
@@ -197,18 +197,18 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'lift':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/elevator.jpg"></center>'
 	'<center>The elevator in the apartment building is quite old. The building supervisor does his best to keep it running, but it breaks down a lot. Someone put up a <a href="exec:gt ''pav_complexb3'',''elev_objava''">notification</a> in the elevator.</center>'
-	act 'Push button: floor 1': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_1'
-	act 'Push button: floor 2': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_2'
-	act 'Push button: floor 3': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_3'
-	act 'Push button: floor 4': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_4'
-	act 'Push button: floor 5': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_5'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 1': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_1'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 2': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_2'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 3': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_3'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 4': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_4'
+	act 'Push button: Floor 5': gt 'pav_complexb3','etaj_5'
 	pod_lift_ev = RAND(0,100)
 	if pod_lift_ev <=5:
 		*clr & cla
 		minut +=1
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/event/elevator'+rand(1,2)+'.jpg"></center>'
-		'When the elevator door opens, you see a naked woman standing in it! She looks at you in panic and is frantically pressing all the elevator buttons. You''re too baffled to do anything until it''s too late. The door is already closed again, and the elevator is moving away from you.'
+		'When the elevator door opens, you are surprised to see a naked woman standing in it. She looks at you in panic and is frantically pressing all the elevator buttons. You''re too baffled to do anything until it''s too late. The door has already closed, and the elevator is moving away from you.'
 		act 'Leave': gt 'pav_complexb3',$ARGS[1]
 	elseif pod_lift_ev <=10 or liftnotwork_count <=0:
 		*clr & cla
@@ -217,7 +217,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'lift':
 		liftnotwork_count -= 1
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/liftnotwork.jpg"></center>'
-		'The building supervisor put a sign on the elevator: "Dear tenants, the elevator is out of order for today. Don''t worry, I should have it working again by tomorrow!"'
+		'The building supervisor has put a sign on the elevator: "Dear tenants, the elevator is out of order for today. Don''t worry, I should have it working again by tomorrow!"'
 		act 'Leave': gt 'pav_complexb3',$ARGS[1]
 	end
 	killvar 'pod_lift_ev'

+ 4 - 5
locations/pav_complexold.qsrc

@@ -9,9 +9,8 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'etaj_1':
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><h3>old apartment building</h3></center>'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/sharedapt/apthallway.jpg"></center>'
-	''
-	'An old, common russian apartment house, lacking lots of years of repairs and maintenance.'
-	'The entry doors are left unlocked and even if they weren''t, they look like fall apart any moment.'
+	'An old apartment house that hasn''t been maintained for years.'
+	'The entry doors are left unlocked and even if they weren''t, they look like they''ll fall apart at any moment.'
 	
 	'Inside is a board with <a href="exec:gt ''pav_complexold'', ''advert''">announcements</a> for the tenants.'
 
@@ -23,7 +22,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'etaj_1':
 		menu_off = 1
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/liftnotwork.jpg"></center>'
-		'The building supervisor put a sign on the elevator: "Dear tenants, the elevator is out of order for today. Don''t worry, I should have it working again by tomorrow!". Unfortunately, that sign has been there for years.'
+		'The building supervisor has put a sign on the elevator: "Dear tenants, the elevator is out of order for today. Don''t worry, I should have it working again by tomorrow!". Unfortunately, that sign has been there for years.'
 		act 'Leave': gt 'pav_complexold', 'etaj_1'
 	end
 	
@@ -33,7 +32,7 @@ if $ARGS[0] = 'etaj_1':
 		menu_off = 1
 		gs 'stat'
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/pavlovsk/resident/apartment/stairs/brokenstairs.jpg"></center>'
-		'The stairs are as rundown as the rest of the apartment building.Thankfully there is no one I want to see on the floor above.'
+		'The stairs are as run down as the rest of the apartment building. Thankfully, there''s no one you want to see on the floor above.'
 		act 'Turn back': gt 'pav_complexold', 'etaj_1'
 	end
 end

+ 20 - 20
locations/pav_residential.qsrc

@@ -44,8 +44,8 @@ else
 	end
 end
 
-'<br>The residential area of a provincial town in Russia that has a population of roughly 15,000 people. This area is suburban with more modern houses, dusty roads and pockets of overgrown vegetation stretching out far and wide, but some would say that just adds to the town''s rustic charm. Apart from the old <a href="exec:view''images/locations/pavlovsk/palace/pav_palace.jpg''">Imperial palace</a> built by Catherine the Great, with its surrounding gardens and forest, and the recently remodeled <a href="exec:view''images/locations/pavlovsk/fortress/bip_hotel.png''">Bip fortress</a> which is now a luxury hotel and restaurant.'
-'<br>Even from here you can spot the <a href="exec:minut += 5 & gt ''ParChurch'',''start''">Church of St. Nikolas</a>, the tallest building in town.'
+'<br>The residential area of the town. This area is suburban with more modern houses, dusty roads and pockets of overgrown vegetation stretching out far and wide, but some would say that just adds to the town''s rustic charm. Apart from the old <a href="exec:view''images/locations/pavlovsk/palace/pav_palace.jpg''">Imperial palace</a> built by Catherine the Great, with its surrounding gardens and forest, and the recently remodeled <a href="exec:view''images/locations/pavlovsk/fortress/bip_hotel.png''">Bip fortress</a>, everything else is relatively modern.'
+'<br>Even from here, you can spot the <a href="exec:minut += 5 & gt ''ParChurch'',''start''">Church of St. Nikolas</a>, the tallest building in town.'
 
 gs'street_event','pav_residential', 'extras'
 
@@ -56,14 +56,14 @@ if flag_rape_1 = 1:
 elseif flag_rape_1 = 2:
 	flag_rape_1 = 0
 	rape_count = rape
-	'Coming out of your daze, you find yourself having walked into the center of town without even realizing it. You feel a bit strange as you stop to think about why you aren''t upset about having been raped. Replaying the encounter in your head, you realize you actually enjoyed it a bit. All in all, you''re not too worried about what happened.'
+	'Coming out of your daze, you find you''ve walked into the center of town without even realizing it. You feel a bit strange as you stop to think about why you aren''t upset about having been raped. Replaying the encounter in your head, you realize you actually enjoyed it a little. All in all, you''re not too worried about what happened.'
 elseif rape > rape_count:
 	!for normal rape. differ display with bimbolevel
 	rape_count = rape
 	if bimbolevel > 2:
 		'You feel great after having sex, and don''t understand why they didn''t just ask. Silly man.'
 	elseif bimbolevel > 0:
-		'Coming out of your daze, you find yourself having walked into the center of town without even realizing it. You feel a bit strange as you stop to think about why you aren''t upset about having been raped. Replaying the encounter in your head, you realize you actually had fun and enjoyed it. All in all, you''re not too worried about what happened. '
+		'Coming out of your daze, you find you''ve walked into the center of town without even realizing it. You feel a bit strange as you stop to think about why you aren''t upset about having been raped. Replaying the encounter in your head, you realize you actually had fun and enjoyed it. All in all, you''re not too worried about what happened. '
 	else
 		'You stop under the dim light of a streetlight. Breathing heavy, you occasionally stop to wince from the pain coming from your pussy. You convince yourself not to tell anyone, and to just get home, clean up and go to bed as soon as possible. The sooner you do that, the sooner you can forget this ever happened.'
 	end
@@ -117,23 +117,23 @@ else
 	$schoolname = 'the local school.'
 end	
 
-'<br>In the center of Pavlovsk is the town square, which features the popular <a href="exec: minut += 2 & gt ''pav_commcenter''">community center</a>, a hotspot for the local teenagers to hangout at after a long day at <<$schoolname>></b> Connected to the town center is the old palace grounds which have now been turned into a large <a href="exec:minut += 5 & gt ''pav_park'', ''start''">public park</a>. With the <a href="exec: minut += 5 & gt ''glake''">lake</a> nearby, the area can get quite busy, especially during the summer and winter when people can swim or skate at the lake.'
+'<br>In the center of Pavlovsk is the town square, which features the <a href="exec: minut += 2 & gt ''pav_commcenter''">community center</a>, a popular hotspot for the local teenagers to hang out after a long day at <<$schoolname>></b> Connected to the town center is the old palace grounds, which have been turned into a large <a href="exec:minut += 5 & gt ''pav_park'', ''start''">public park</a>. With the <a href="exec: minut += 5 & gt ''glake''">lake</a> nearby, the area can get quite busy, especially during the summer and winter when people can swim or skate at the lake.'
 
 *nl
 !!made changes here, to remove direct links to the kids in the apartment complex, make sure this will work with the code left.
 if Enable_tablemap = 0:
 	if DimaBeHomeOnce = 1 and DimaRudeBlock = 0:'<a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''dimaHome'', ''home''">Dimka Nosov</a>, one of your classmates, lives in one of the fancier houses in town.'
 	if IgorLoverQW > 0 and IdorBlock = 0:'<a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''IgorHome'', ''home''">Igor Kruglov</a>, one of your classmates, lives in one of the fancier houses in town.'
-	if katjaFirstKiss >= 1 or mey_vika['mey_vika_qw'] >= 27 or mey_vika['key'] = 1: 'Large private house where the <a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt''mey_home'', ''door''">Meynold twins</a> live.'
+	if katjaFirstKiss >= 1 or mey_vika['mey_vika_qw'] >= 27 or mey_vika['key'] = 1: 'Nearby is a large house where the <a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt''mey_home'', ''door''">Meynold twins</a> live.'
 	if LariskaQW['story'] >= 5: '<a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''LariskaHome'', ''front_door''">Lariska Gruzdev</a>, one of your classmates, lives about 10 minutes away from your parents.'
-	if AlbinaQW['KnowsHouse'] > 0 or AlbinaQW['StarletsJoined'] = 1:'<a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''albinaporog''">Albina Barlovskaya</a>, one of your classmates, lives in one of the few luxurious mansions Pavlovsk has to offer.'
+	if AlbinaQW['KnowsHouse'] > 0 or AlbinaQW['StarletsShutDown'] = 1:'<a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''albinaporog''">Albina Barlovskaya</a>, one of your classmates, lives in one of the few luxurious mansions Pavlovsk has to offer.'
 else
 	st_count=0 & $show_table=''
 	if DimaBeHomeOnce = 1 and DimaRudeBlock = 0:gs'show_table','Fancier house of <a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''dimaHome'', ''home''">Dimka Nosov</a>','3'
 	if IgorLoverQW > 0 and IdorBlock = 0:gs'show_table','Fancier house of <a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''IgorHome'', ''home''">Igor Kruglov</a>', '3'
-	if katjaFirstKiss >= 1 or mey_vika['mey_vika_qw'] >= 27 or mey_vika['key'] = 1: gs'show_table','House of the <a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt''mey_home'', ''door''">Meynold twins</a>','3'
+	if katjaFirstKiss >= 1 or mey_vika['mey_vika_qw'] >= 27 or mey_vika['key'] = 1: gs'show_table','The house of the <a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt''mey_home'', ''door''">Meynold twins</a>','3'
 	if LariskaQW['story'] >= 5:gs'show_table','House of <a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''LariskaHome'', ''front_door''" >Lariska Gruzdev</a> in the richer part of town','3'
-	if AlbinaQW['KnowsHouse'] > 0 or AlbinaQW['StarletsJoined'] = 1:gs'show_table','Luxurious mansion of <a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''albinaporog''">Albina Barlovskaya</a>','3'
+	if AlbinaQW['KnowsHouse'] > 0 or AlbinaQW['StarletsShutDown'] = 1:gs'show_table','A luxurious mansion that''s home to <a href="exec:minut += 10 & gt ''albinaporog''">Albina Barlovskaya</a>','3'
 	if st_count > 0 :'<TABLE BORDER=1><<$show_table>></TR></TABLE>'
 end
 !!end of code changes.
@@ -147,8 +147,8 @@ elseif InvitationToDimkaNYparty = 1 and month ! 12:
 end
 
 act 'Walk to the Five Eight estate (0:02)':minut += 2 & gt 'pav_complex', 'start'
-act 'Walk to the Commercial area (0:05)':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_commercial'
-act 'Walk to the Industrial region (0:05)':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_industrial'
+act 'Walk to the commercial area (0:05)':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_commercial'
+act 'Walk to the industrial region (0:05)':minut += 5 & gt 'pav_industrial'
 
 act 'Wait':gs 'obj_din', 'wait'
 
@@ -178,8 +178,8 @@ if (hour > 20 or hour < 4) and succubusQW = 5 and suchuntday ! daystart:
 				end
 			end
 			'The disco is in full swing, which means a lot of adolescents going to and from the community center. You find a spot down the street from the community center to lie in wait for your prey.'
-			'You hide for a few minutes watching groups of students pass you by as you wait for a lone victim to pounce on. You lie in wait for almost thirty minutes, thinking about the meal ahead, your hand finding its way between your legs a few times.'
-			'This time you are unsuccessful and fail to find a suitable meal.'
+			'You hide for a few minutes, watching groups of students pass by as you wait for a lone victim to pounce on. You lie in wait for almost thirty minutes thinking about the meal ahead, your hand finding its way between your legs a few times.'
+			'You are unsuccessful and fail to find a suitable victim.'
 
 			act 'Return': gt 'pav_residential'
 		end
@@ -195,10 +195,10 @@ if StoryLine ! 0 and (hour >= 8 or hour < 23) and cumloc[11] = 1 and rand(0, 3)
 
 	if sosedknow = 0:
 		sosedknow = 1
-		'As you walk through Pavlovsk, someone calls out to you "<<$pcs_nickname>>!" You turn around and see uncle Misha, your neighbor. He looks at your face in amazement, "Your face looks like a mess! What is that?"'
-		'You blush and hesitate, trying to inconspicuously wipe the sperm off your face. It''s obviously not working; he already noticed. You see his eyes widen when he realizes what it is. "I see. Looks like you had fun", he grins as he continues on his way.'
+		'As you walk through Pavlovsk, someone calls out to you. "<<$pcs_firstname>>!" You turn around and see uncle Misha, your neighbor. He looks at your face in amazement, "Your face looks like a mess! What is that?"'
+		'You blush and hesitate, trying to inconspicuously wipe the sperm off your face. It''s obviously not working; he already noticed. You see his eyes widen when he realizes what it is. "I see. Looks like you had fun." he grins and continues on his way.'
 	else
-		'Once again you run into uncle Misha, your neighbor. He notices the sperm on your face: "Again? Looks like you''ve been busy, girl. Nice look, it suits you."'
+		'Once again, you run into uncle Misha, your neighbor. He notices the sperm on your face: "Again? Looks like you''ve been busy, girl. Nice look, it suits you."'
 	end
 	act 'Continue':gt 'pav_residential'
 	exit
@@ -210,7 +210,7 @@ if pcs_magik >= 1 and mainQW = 0 and altQS = 1:
 	mainQW = 1
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/lab/event/main.jpg"></center>'
-	'At the entrance to the apartment building you see Tatiana and Gustav. Tatiana adjusts her glasses and looks around, while Gustav seems to have his head in the clouds not really paying attention to his surroundings. His tattoos are not visible.'
+	'You see Tatiana and Gustav at the entrance to the apartment building. Tatiana adjusts her glasses and looks around, while Gustav seems to have his head in the clouds not really paying attention to his surroundings. His tattoos are not visible.'
 	'Tatiana closely looks around you: "I felt a burst of energy. Were you attacked by a magician?"'
 	act 'No?':gt 'mainQW'
 
@@ -222,11 +222,11 @@ if storyline ! 0 and AndRev = 1 and (hour >=22 or hour <=2) and rand(1,100) >= 9
 	*clr & cla
 	gs 'stat'
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/lab/event/main.jpg"></center>'
-	'It was late and you were hurrying to get home when you are suddenly grabbed from behind. A large hand covered your mouth and you cannot scream. A powerful arm wrapped around your arms and chest and lifted you from your feet. You are dragged into an alleyway between two buildings and the arm around you loosened for just a moment.'
+	'It is late and you are hurrying to get home when you are suddenly grabbed from behind. A large hand covers your mouth and you cannot scream. A powerful arm wraps around you and lifts you from your feet. You are dragged into an alleyway between two buildings and the arm around you loosens for just a minute.'
 	act 'Continue':
 		*clr & cla
 		'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/locations/city/citycenter/lab/event/main.jpg"></center>'
-		'Before you could try to escape, you felt something sting your arm and you felt your body relax against your will. Just before your eyes closed and you lost consciousness, you heard a familiar voice rasp in your ear. "Now you''ll pay for breaking my nose, you little slut."'
+		'Before you can attempt to escape, you feel something sting your arm and your body relaxes against your will. Just before your eyes close and you lose consciousness, you hear a familiar voice rasp in your ear. "Now you''ll pay for breaking my nose, you little slut."'
 		act 'Continue': gt 'boilerroom', 'start'
 	end
 end
@@ -252,7 +252,7 @@ elseif npc_QW['A113'] = 1 and daybelisex ! daystart and hour >= 9 and hour <= 23
 	gs 'stat'
 	
 	'<center><img <<$set_imgh>> src="images/characters/pavlovsk/vadim/belyjeep.jpg"></center>'
-	'You see the by now familiar old Mitsubishi Pajero driving through the streets with Vadim Bely and his gang. Your heart skips a beat as you notice one of them pointing at you, and soon they pull over.'
+	'You see the by now familiar old Mitsubishi Pajero driving through the streets with Vadim Bely and his gang inside. Your heart skips a beat as you notice one of them pointing at you and they pull over.'
 		
 	act 'Go to the jeep': gt 'belgang', 'workofdebt' 	
 end